


Collide

by snack_size



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Clint/Coulson Get Together, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Medical Trauma, Minor Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Recovery, Serious Injuries, Team Bonding, Thor Is Not Stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-06-30
Packaged: 2017-12-08 08:08:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 42,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snack_size/pseuds/snack_size
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During their third mission, Steve is caught under a collapsed building and is severely wounded. Thor is the first to locate them and stays with him consistently throughout his recovery. As their friendship deepens, both struggle with admitting their feelings to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Contains medical scenes, temporary paralysis, and description of injuries.

“Captain.” 

Something was wrong, Steve could tell in the tone of voice that was addressing him - Falsworth, but not, they’d picked up some other English soldier along the way, then. He must have taken a pretty good hit to the head, which explained why he was having such a hard time opening his eyes- 

“Steven.” 

“Oh,” Steve said. Thor was peering down at him, sweat glistening from his forehead - and there were deep creases there, and a look of concern that Steve hadn’t seen since...New York, since Loki. 

Steve blinked to get the moisture out of his eyes. It had to be from all of the debris in the air. Wherever they were, it was dark - and then he remembered, slowly, the bomb, and how Hulk had run towards it but was a few seconds short. Then there was a bright light, the distinct taste of blood in his mouth, darkness, coughing, choking...

Steve moved to sit up and his stomach seemed to process what was going on before his head did, because he was fighting the urge not to vomit before he realized why. “I can’t...my legs...” he said, and waved his hand towards them. At least it worked.

“Aye,” Thor said, leaning back and then standing over him. “I am not surprised from the hit you took from the falling building. But, fear not - it shall heal in time.” 

Steve nodded - but how could Thor be certain? He’d clearly damaged his spine, and what was that for an Asgardian? A god? Steve felt his chest tighten, a familiar embrace that then became a constraint...and Thor’s face, it indicated that he wasn’t certain about what he had said, either, and that he thought it was probably the best thing to say at the moment. 

“I shall summon Mjolnir to-”

“No!” Steve said, and Thor bent down closer to him, face concerned again. “I mean, it will be able to come through all of this, right? And it might break whatever is holding up the pocket that we’re in.” 

“Yes,” Thor said, and he sat down next to Steve. “You’re right - I should have thought through my actions. Impulsive, of course.” He snorted. 

“Is your comm still working?” Steve asked, and he was finally able to get his arms behind him so that he could at least pull himself up and bend at the waist. There was a pain blooming in his chest, as well, and he wondered for a brief, terrified moment if the serum had stopped working.

He glanced down at his legs - still attached, still the shape he remembered. He almost laughed, because Bucky had once insisted, when he was drunk, that they should cut off his pinky toe to see if it would grow back. Or how long it would take. _Surprised Howard hasn’t suggested it,_ Bucky said, and Steve had lightly punched him. 

_That’s probably what they would have done to you in that lab, wherever Phillips wanted to send you,_ he thought. They would have poked and prodded him and figured out all of his secrets. He hadn’t necessary enjoyed being on-stage and traveling with twenty-odd dames - they were a lot messier than he had ever thought dames could be - but it certainly beat that fate.

“Tony says that he, Hulk, and SHIELD are working diligently to extract us,” Thor said, and Steve had to shake his head to pull him out of the dream - well, nightmare. “They have some image of where we are located.”

“Body heat,” Steve said, and, remembering how bitter Thor had sounded with his previous comment, so he added, “and it wasn’t impulsive - well, it was, but you just wanted...” 

“Thank you,” Thor said. He glanced off to the side, and Steve did as well, not really sure what else to say. They had got along, these past two weeks when Thor had been in New York. He’d just returned from Asgard and then New Mexico. 

Thor had been upset the first few days when he returned, and it took Clint, of all people, to get it out of him that his relationship had ended with Jane Foster. After that, though, he had a less melancholy demeanor, though Steve could still see there was hurt underneath. Steve didn’t entirely blame her. When dating someone meant that you could be put in a position where his psychopath brother...still, Steve had tried to be sympathetic when he spoke to Thor. Plus he was glad to have someone else around who seemed to understand less about twenty-first century Earth than Steve did. Someone who would actually try and figure things out with Steve instead of looking at him like he was some younger brother they had to bring along with them yet again. 

“I actually, uh...” Steve laughed without finishing the thought, because wouldn’t that figure? Super serum gets rid of whatever of his myriad problems would have killed him, he survives WWII and then getting frozen in Arctic ice for seventy years, and he was going to be paralyzed in a building collapse. 

Thor cocked his head, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“I mean, I don’t know if...this will get better.” There was the constriction, the tightness that had been building. He tried to inhale deeply and felt his lungs protest - how was he having an asthma attack?

“Your other wounds heal in time,” Thor said, then frowned. “I fear that part of the problem may be my fault. Clint told me I was not to move you, but I could not leave you face down amongst the rubble.” His eyes widened slightly, and he looked a little bit like a puppy - one that had made a mess and really didn’t want you to yell at it. 

Steve shrugged - it couldn’t have made that much of a difference. “You’re right. I guess, it’s just...legs. Sort of important.” Thor nodded. “Did they tell you how long..?”

Thor touched at the comm inside his ear. “Tony? Agent Coulson?” Steve could hear a scratching sound and then the tinny sound of Stark from inside the suit, though the volume was turned down considerably to account for Thor’s hearing so Steve couldn’t make out the words. “Aye, Steve is conscious. He wonders how long until you are able to affect our rescue?...I see, yes, thank you.” He touched his ear again, then said to Steve, “Ten to twenty minutes, Tony estimates, though Agent Coulson is more conservative.” 

“Well, with Hulk flinging shit around I’m sure Tony’s closer,” Steve said. Hulk listened to all of them, these days, but he was still closest and most responsive to Tony. Made sense, of course, Tony was the probably the only person Bruce had met since his transformation that knew about what had happened to him and treated him just like any other person. Well, treated him like how Tony Stark would treat any other person. Steve wished he had treated Bruce better - he had done a decent enough job, when he had met him on the deck of the Helicarrier, but as soon as Tony had jabbed him with whatever it was that he probably brought explicitly for the purpose, Steve had just thought of the potential consequences. “Sorry,” Steve said, realizing Thor was looking at him. 

“For what?”

“I just, sort of...drifted off there,” Steve said. 

“It is understandable,” Thor said. “You were unconscious for a period of time.” 

Steve had not had that happen before, and he grimaced, wondering exactly how much of the building had fallen on him. Probably all of it. “Normally, I’d say you shouldn’t let me fall back asleep...” Thor cocked his head. “That’s what you do, for, uh, normal people. When they get concussions. I had some medical training - we all did, in the Army...” he laughed, but it was a stilted, chocked thing. 

“They will be upon us in no time,” Thor said, and he reached forward and put one of his hands on Steve’s shoulder. Steve wasn’t sure why it made him shiver. Maybe because he didn’t anticipate it - that it would be so intimate - or that Thor’s hand was so comfortable and so large. It was a lot like how Bucky’s hand used to feel. “Captain, you need to relax.”

“Relax?” Steve asked, almost barked.

“Aye,” Thor said, “I have had that feeling many times before, the sense of panic that leads to a physical manifestation such that you are having.” He paused, and then glanced at Steve.  
This reminds me, of a time when a cave collapsed on the Lady Sif and I when we were pursuing a dragon-”

“Dragon?” Steve asked.

“We were young, then, and it seemed to be a good way to occupy our time.” 

“You went after a dragon because you were bored?” 

Thor gave him a large, comforting smile and then shrugged. Steve supposed he and Bucky had got up to some pretty stupid things themselves - and it wasn’t as though the Commandos had always used the most practical methods of accomplishing their goals. 

“It was a similar situation to that which we are currently in, though the cave in was fortunate as it protected us from further damage from the beast. We were a bit out matched.” Steve had no idea how long ago this had happened, but Thor still seemed a bit chagrined by it. “I may have fought out, but Sif cautioned me against it - it would not have been a valiant death for a warrior.”

“Death? But I thought-”

“On Midgard, perhaps,” Thor said. “But in the other realms, with other creatures, we Aesir are vulnerable - my father lost an eye to a Jotun.” Steve nodded, and tried to pull himself up a little further and groaned, still unable to feel anything below his navel - he never thought he would want pain, even searing, debilitating pain, but things had come full circle, it seemed. 

Thor continued to talk about how he and Sif conceived of getting out of the cave - and really, it did sound like some story Steve would have read as a child - but all he could do was try and work calculations he had never been bothered with before. Tony, Bruce, they probably could have come up with some rate of healing based on the grievousness of the injury and would tell him exactly when he could expect his spine to start piecing itself back together, but he wasn’t any good at constructing those kinds of formulas.

Steve felt his breath hitch and tighten further. _Goddamnit,_ he thought, though if relaxing was what he needed, he definitely wasn’t in a good environment for it. 

“The more you think of it, the more it will distress you,” Thor said, voice even. He had moved a little closer to Steve and he had his head cocked to the side slightly. 

“I know, it’s just...” Steve waved his hands at his legs. “Sort of useful, you know. Necessary, for the line of work I’m in, and...” he gulped and made an undignified hiccuping noise. _Do not cry in front of Norse god,_ he told himself. _In front of Thor._

Rationally, he knew that it was a panic attack - well, he’d known as soon as Thor had pointed it out - but he couldn’t help but recall endless days from his childhood where his mother hovered over him. They’d thought asthma was a mental illness then, though, and the one doctor had suggested it had something to do with bad mothering. Steve had kicked him from the exam table and his mother didn’t even try and hide her smile.

“You attempt to construct some formula to reassure yourself?” Thor asked. 

Steve nodded, and not that he thought Thor was dumb - he was just so...Thor, sometimes, you forgot behind either the stoic warrior or the genial companion, there was real intelligence. “Yeah,” he said. “But I just...I’ve never been hurt like this before.” 

Thor edged a little closer to him and nodded. “There was a time I fought a mastodon - you know of them?” he asked, when Steve raised his eyebrows. “Tall, furred beasts with a prehensile nose and destructive tusks?” Steve nodded, and almost wanted to giggle, because for a moment, he thought Thor had said pehensile, and it brought him back to the morning when Thor had stumbled out into the shared living space in the Tower, completely naked. Apparently that was what you did on Asgard, when you wanted to get some milk. Steve had blushed and then laughed as Tony pointed it out. He had been in the Army, it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen...but it was just so unexpected... 

“I thought it was nothing but a trifle,” Thor continued. “And before I knew it, the beast used its tusks to thrust me against a wall. It gored me and trampled me before the Warriors Three could come to my aid. It was the first time in a long while I thought I might be headed for Valhalla. My mother and the best healers in Asgard attended to me, and I could see in their eyes, even with their skill, they were not sure whether I would heal. It was the first time I was truly frightened,” Thor said. “Then I forgot this in my arrogance. I had to learn that lesson again.” 

Steve nodded. Thor was closer to him, now, and Steve moved so he could face him. He winced as he did it, feeling something stab deep into the center of him. _A good sign?_ he wondered. “Lean forward, Captain,” Thor said, and Steve winced again, following the command. Thor wrapped an arm around him to support him, and Steve settled against it, amazed at the size of it. 

He could feel things stretch and burn that he really shouldn’t. He hadn’t really felt pain like that since he’d been defrosted - and there had to be a better word, it made him sound like he was a microwave meal.

“Your wound appears to have changed slightly in countenance,” Thor said, after a long moment where he must have been appraising Steve’s back. 

“Wound?” Steve asked. Of course there was a wound, but he felt like this should have maybe been explicitly pointed out.

Thor nodded, and grimaced slightly. “Clint and Tony encouraged me not to tell you about it. They thought it would only alarm you further.” 

“More than...” Steve couldn’t conceive of that. But then he remembered that when Thor had got the advice Steve had been passed out and Thor hadn’t known that Steve’s legs didn’t work - Steve didn’t dare think the other word for it. “No, it’s actually reassuring, that...there’s a reason.”

“I apologize, Steve,” Thor said. “One can see much of your anatomy.”

Steve nodded again, and he couldn’t really think of it - well, he could, he had plenty of images that he could populate his imagination with. There had been so many battlefields littered with the dead, the dying, the bleeding...limbs with hints attached to them of where they came from, heads inside helmets. They were easier than a lot of the bodies, though, probably because you could imagine that someone had died quickly from the trauma and the blood loss. With the bodies, though, you could see how long and painful it had probably been.

Steve felt a little nauseous, thinking about it. “OK,” he said. 

“I know little of how mortals work,” Thor added. 

“Well, neither do I, really, anymore,” Steve said. He swallowed, and Thor met his eyes and held them for a long period before putting a hand on his shoulder again. “You’re not...we’ve all been arrogant, you know.” 

“I have a hard time imagining that of you, Captain,” Thor said.

“I was, the day that Bucky died,” Steve said. “He was in my unit, but we had been friends since we were fourteen. Best friends, actually, and...I thought we could handle everything. I forgot how vulnerable we were, and he fell.” Steve had to look away, immediately recognizing the parallel. “It was a long time ago...but it wasn’t, for me.” 

“Aye,” Thor said, and then he pressed a hand to his ear. “Tony says that they are rather close. Hulk is particularly effective. Yes, he is doing well, Tony. Tony wants me to assure you there is medical attention waiting for you.”

“Oh, tell him...” Steve said. He didn’t want anyone risking their lives, entering the unstable structure, for him. He wasn’t dying.

He remembered the first time he had really been wounded, when he had been shot five times - and there was blood everywhere, but by that evening everyone was checking him over and marveling at his capabilities. Steve had wondered, that night, what it would be like if he lived centuries and everyone was left behind. He didn’t have to worry about that, anymore, though, he already knew what that was like. Still, there was a difference between living it and being frozen for it, and Steve had no clue how all of that entered the calculus. For all Erksine had told him about the serum, he didn’t really mention anything about extended life span - so it was possible, maybe, that Steve’s wouldn’t be, but somehow he doubted it.

“Steve?” Thor asked.

“When I was younger,” Steve said, “everything with my health was...wrong, and then I went to being like this and I think I overlooked some things.” 

Thor put a hand on his shoulder and nodded his head. Then both of them turned in the direction of sound that quickly grew in intensity.

“Hulk,” Thor said, and Steve nodded. After a few more distinct grunting sounds, some light began to pour into the tiny space that they were in. Steve inhaled and was able to take in gasoline, dust, burning plastic and a lot of other odors that he associated with the battle in New York.

Both of them looked up and saw Tony’s mask peering in, and Steve realized that Thor’s hand was still on his shoulder. He was glad that he didn’t have to see Tony’s expression. “So,” Tony said, “how was your bottle episode?” Beside him, Hulk grunted, though he was obscured by the debris. 

Tony hovered over them as he continued working from inside the chamber. Steve and Thor ceased speaking to each other, but Tony took up the slack and chattered enough that Steve didn’t have to think about what was happening. Once they had cleared a large enough exit, Thor turned and nodded at Steve, finally removing his hand. “How are you feeling, Captain?” It felt so much more formal and stilted, and Steve somehow felt...he couldn’t really quantify it, but he missed the previous tone Thor had taken with him. 

Steve concentrated, attempting to wiggle his toes - not even sure if that was the best way to go about things. It didn’t matter - there was no result, and so he shook his head at Thor. 

“Be still,” Thor said, and then foisted Steve up as though he were picking up a small child, no, as if he were picking up Steve as he used to be. He held him, bridal style, and Steve sent a sharp look in Tony’s direction. Tony lifted both his hands in the air as if to ask, _who, me?_ “You might be more comfortable were you to drape an arm around my neck.”

“Uh, right,” Steve said, and he could feel a blush rising in his cheeks. “Where’s Hulk?” Tony walked in front of Thor as they went through the hole.

“Went off to re-Banner,” Tony said. “Clint went with him, since he had the foresight to bring some pants.” 

“Oh, right,” Steve said, weakly. “Glad someone thought about that, uh, exigency.” During their last fight in Manilla Thor had to donate his cape to the cause, even though they’d already dealt with the same problem in New York.

“There’s a stretcher right outside, Pikachu,” Tony said. “Might want to try and get Cap on it pretty fast so no one thinks you’re carrying him over the threshold?”

“What?” Thor asked, and Steve shifted slightly at the mention of photographers - in New York, most of the shots had come from the cell phones of people caught in the middle of the battle - but professionals had actually turned up in Manila. Clint had been pretty pleased to become an Internet sensation because one photographer had a thing for his backside.

“There’s photographers,” Steve said. 

“It is understandable you do not wish to be immortalized in this condition,” Thor said. “Perhaps Tony could provide cover as well.”

“Sure,” Tony said, “I’ll light fireworks.” 

Just before they were about to step out, Thor adjusted Steve, and Steve removed his arm from around Thor’s neck and felt himself swallow. His throat suddenly felt thick - and it wasn’t like they he hadn’t had to carry Natasha after she broke her ankle, but it almost seemed like he was letting people down, getting injured like this. “Be still,” Thor said. “My arm is quite close to the open wound.” 

SHIELD had established a fairly large perimeter. The stretcher was literally right outside of the hole in the debris, and Thor lifted Steve and delicately set him down on it. Steve was a little surprised at how softly he handled him - he always associated Thor with brute strength and force, but he was almost overly cautious. Steve winced when his back hit the stretcher, and a SHIELD doctor was beside him almost instantly. 

“How is your pain level, Captain?” he asked, and Steve glanced over at Thor as two paramedics whisked his stretcher to a very close Quinjet. His face was somber, disturbed, and Steve had to look away.

“I’m fine, I don’t need anything,” he said. Steve was relieved when Natasha was next to him, brow knit together in concern. “I’m OK,” he said, but Natasha took his hand and squeezed it. She seemed surprised by this, herself - it wasn’t as though Steve would characterize the two of them as friends. When Natasha was in the Tower she was visible about as much as the spider her codename came from. 

“Can you feel this?” Another doctor asked, at his feet, and Steve opened his mouth but his tongue felt like sand paper. He shook his head, instead, and felt disorientated. Everything smelled like it was burning, and he was pretty sure that he had been in the city that they were in before but much longer ago. 

“I need to-” he began, and Natasha let his hand fall and moved backwards. She seemed to be the only one who understood what he was saying, doctors and nurses were buzzing around him and asking questions and seemed oblivious to him - even though he was their patient. Well, they were oblivious until he threw up. More of a dry heave, really, because his metabolism was compounded by the fight and he literally had nothing in him. “I’m sorry.” 

“You’re fine,” one of the nurses said as they rolled him up the ramp of the Quinjet. Steve was relieved that Clint wasn’t behind the wheel - he didn’t need to be some spectacle. Not that any of his teammates would treat it like that, Steve knew that they were concerned, but they couldn’t help but turn it into one. Captain America falls, Captain America is broken... he knew how it worked, how it had since the beginning, had accepted that he was a symbol of something bigger than himself. That was what he had signed up for, after all. But there had always been at least one or two people - Bucky, Peggy - that he could count on to always see him as Steve, no matter what. 

Steve sighed and then watched as several nodes and pads were hooked up to him to monitor his vital signs. “I’m fine, I just-”

“We need to move you to the side, Captain,” said one of the doctors. “We need to get a look at the wound - it would not be good for it to heal over any debris-”

“Oh God,” Steve said, remembering one of the things that he had tried very desperately not to. Shrapnel and bits of building had embedded in his abdomen somewhere outside of Paris and he had carried on without thinking about it. Surgery had to be performed later when someone caught sight of him disrobing - Gabe, he wanted to say, but he couldn’t recall, and that only increased his panic. This time, though, there didn’t seem to be an issue with keeping the wound open long enough to pull the biggest pieces out. This frightened Steve most of all. 

He was relieved to see Natasha crouching next to him. “We can lift off,” someone said.

“Thank you,” Steve said to Natasha. She nodded at him.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve wasn’t sure how they finally managed to sedate him - the elephant tranquilizers Clint was always joking he had ready for the Hulk? - or if he passed out again, but he was grateful for it. He woke again in SHIELD medical, attached to a variety of monitors that were filling the room with discordant beeping sounds. “Uh,” he said, and his mouth was very dry.

“They are quite annoying in their disharmony,” Thor said, and Steve was surprised to see him next to him - not that Thor hadn’t been, through most of this, he guessed he had just thought that Thor would want to take a shower, change out of his armor, having done his part already.

“Well, I told you I can handle that,” said Tony, and it made more sense - they were all keeping a vigil. Tony reached and plucked two nodes off of Steve’s chest and then reached for his hand to slide a pulse monitor off of his finger. Steve wished he could slap at him. The best he could do was move his hand away.

“That’s the one that tells them I’m alive,” he said. 

“Because there’s a question of that?” Tony asked. Steve closed his eyes and exhaled. He knew it was just Tony’s usual coping mechanism, but still - it wasn’t what he needed, right now. Tony grimaced slightly, getting it, and Steve sighed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Seriously? No, none of that,” Tony said.

“I don’t need to be babied,” Steve said. “And, besides, is there a doctor, or..?” Tony and Thor exchanged a glance that was troubled, or anxious, or something, and Steve pressed his lips together and did his best to sound like he was completely in control and that he didn’t already know what they were going to say. “You should tell me.”

“Well, they’re not sure, given the extent of your injury...” Tony said, glancing at Thor - asking Thor for help at phrasing something, which was a first.

“Your doctors know very little about your serum and how it has affected you,” Thor said. “The injury was most grave, so they are hesitant to say one way or another what the outcome will be.”

“OK,” Steve said. “So they’re just not sure.” As he said this, he focused on wiggling his toes. There was no response. “OK.”

“Captain,” Tony said, and this was going to be his role, Steve could tell already, and who would have guessed that Tony would be the cheerleader? “You survived seventy years frozen in Arctic Ice. A crumbling skyscraper isn’t going to take you out.”

“That’s not...I’m not going to die!” Steve said, and then shivered. How many years would he live, paralyzed, useless? Even more useless than he had been before? “I-I...” he felt the familiar tightening in his chest again, and inhaled sharply before exhaling. 

Thor put his hand on Steve’s forearm and leaned in, meeting his eyes. “Just breathe, Steven,” he said. “And then breathe out.” 

“OK,” Steve said, and he focused on Thor for what felt like ages until he breathing reached equilibrium again. He caught Tony’s eye, briefly, and he seemed fascinated. “OK,” he said, when he was finished and he felt like he was a few steps beyond some kind of imminent collapse. 

“You’re not in pain?” Tony asked, then blanched when he realized that he was just poking at the problem again.

“I’m alright,” Steve said.

“Good,” Tony replied. “Bruce was working on something, anyway, the world’s greatest opiate-”

“Am I being drugged now?” Steve asked, and he hoped that the answer was yes, because that would be better.

“No,” Thor said. “Aside from some potion that they gave you in order to render you less-”

“Elephant tranquilizer?” Steve asked.

“Well, I think so - the Hulk tranquilizer, it’s just what Clint decided to call it,” Tony said, and he shrugged. “Though not the best choice, considering your concussion, even I know that.” 

“I think I’m over that, now,” Steve said.

“You were out for ten minutes, perhaps,” Thor said, glancing at Tony, who shrugged.

“I don’t know everything,” he said. Steve closed his eyes again, not entirely sure why the two of them were having a pissing match. 

“Tony, perhaps you would like to go and get some coffee?” Thor said. Tony appeared confused, for a moment, then nodded and pushed his chair back. “His presence wears on you,” Thor said to Steve after Tony left.

“Well...sometimes,” Steve admitted, though he felt bad. Tony had opened his home to all of them - well, his New York home - and wasn’t charging rent, wasn’t charging for food. Everyone insisted he could afford it, but that really wasn’t the issue, where questions of how generous Tony was being were concerned. “I knew his father.” Thor probably wasn’t interested, but Steve wanted to talk about something other than his situation.

Thor nodded, and Steve told a few stories - comparing and contrasting Tony to Howard, the ways that they looked alike and did not look alike. He felt calmer than he had since he’d woken up, with Thor listening intently to him. It was almost as if he was interested. 

When Steve was done, Thor just smiled at him. Before he could say anything, they both heard someone approaching the door. “Hello,” Natasha said, and Coulson was behind her. “Tony thought you might like to go and get some sleep, Thor.” 

“It might be advisable,” Thor replied, and glanced over at Steve, who nodded. He didn’t understand why Thor felt obligated to stay with him - it wasn’t like any of this was his fault. He just happened to be the one to get stuck under the building with him. Or find him. Steve furrowed his brow, realizing he didn’t quite know how that had worked out. “I will see you later, Captain.” 

“Would you like company?” Natasha asked, and Steve appreciated it. He wanted to say no, but he wasn’t tired - and if he didn’t have someone sitting here with him he was just doing to dwell on things. He nodded. 

“I could eat something, too,” he said. “If that’s possible.”

“I’ll see about that,” Coulson said. He and Thor walked out the door.

Natasha sat where Tony had been and studied Steve for some time. “Tony thought you might prefer to be moved to the Tower.” 

“Oh,” Steve said. “Sure, I guess, but won’t I need someone to...” He couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence, to imagine the sorts of things that someone else was going to have to help him do from now on. He looked down at his hands.

“That can all be arranged,” Natasha said, and she bit at her lower lip. “We - Tony - just thought you’d like to be in your own room.” Steve shrugged - it wasn’t like his room was any more personalized than the hospital room was. He’d only just moved out of his SHIELD apartment, and since that had been fully furnished and decorated he hadn’t felt the need to accumulate anything else. Pepper had put up some black and white photography prints in his room, but that was it.

“I’m not interrupting?” Steve looked up to see a man in scrubs, one of the SHIELD doctors that he recognized from their past missions. 

“Should I-?” Natasha asked, and Steve shook his head. The doctor didn’t have any more to add, initially, than what Thor and Tony had told him. His spine had been crushed, amongst other injuries. They were not sure what effect the serum would have.

“But,” Steve said, “if this were to happen to someone without the serum, would they..?”

“They would have died,” the doctor replied, and Steve gave him a more authoritative look. “No,” he said. “The paralysis would be permanent.”

“OK,” Steve said. “Thank you.” 

“Steve,” Natasha said, when the doctor left, and her voice was soft and concerned.

“I just want to know,” he said. “I’m not some child - I hated that, you know? When I was a kid and they would make me leave the room and tell my mom all of this stuff and then she wouldn’t tell me. Wasn’t until I was eighteen I knew what was wrong with me - everything that was wrong me. Fuck, everyone forgets that, it’s not like I need some hope of getting better...” He trailed off, because he did, in this instance. Before, he’d known what kind of life he was looking at, what kind of mortality rates were associated with what he had. He’d been able to accept that, but this was something different.

“I understand,” Natasha said. “We could put something on television, if you’d like.”

“I don’t really know anything current,” Steve said, “so you can pick.” Natasha chose a television show that he never would have predicted her to like, a cooking competition that was strangely compelling even though you couldn’t taste the food or have a any opinion on it. 

* *

That evening, Thor arrived with Tony when they were ready to move him to the Tower. Steve frowned at the wheel chair that Tony was pushing, and Tony glanced away rather than meet his eyes. “If you do not mind, Captain,” Thor said, “I could assist you in exiting your bed?” 

“Sure,” Steve said - it made sense, instead of having two or three orderlies grapple with transferring him. Again, he was surprised by how delicately Thor treated him, and how light he felt when he was in his arms, as though Thor was moving a doll or a child. Steve exhaled as he was placed into the wheel chair and had to look away as Thor arranged his legs. “Thank you,” he said voice soft.

Thor met his eyes as he straightened himself up. “It was no trouble, Captain.” _Why,_ Steve wondered, _is he calling me Captain when someone else is around but Steve when we’re by ourselves?_ It just served to remind him how much of a mystery Thor was.

Tony had moved some of the medical equipment that he’d stashed in the Tower into Steve’s living room, including the most state-of-the-art hospital bed that Steve had seen. Thor once again settled Steve in, adjusting Steve and the pillows behind him even as Steve protested that he was fine. There was something about Thor’s touch that was...lingering, almost, and when Steve met his eyes Thor grasped his shoulder and gave him a slight smile. “It is important for you to be comfortable,” he said.

“We’ve got round the clock nurses,” Tony said, “so you just press that button and they’ll come - same place I got the ones for Coulson from.” Steve nodded - he had been surprised when Tony had basically barged into SHIELD medical and removed Agent Coulson upon finding out that he was alive. Natasha was the one who explained their somewhat strange relationship to him - another puzzle piece to snap into his understanding of Tony Stark. Now he was doing the same thing for Steve. “Clint’s flirting with the one, the brunette.”

“She is comely,” Thor said, and Tony grinned at him. 

Clint, Steve realized, was the only person who had not come to see him. Thor, apparently much more insightful than any of them had given him credit for, turned back to Steve. “I believe he feels responsible,” said Thor. “He thinks he should have alerted us to the individual planting the explosive weapon, in the least, and that he should have shot him himself.” 

“But he was-” Steve began, but Thor shook his head. “Well, I certainly don’t.” It made him think of each time one of the Commados was busted up - there was always someone, sometimes multiple people, who were certain that they were the ones who were complicit in the injury.

“If you do not mind,” Thor said, “I thought I might sit and have dinner with you.” He nodded over at the table set right by the television.

“You don’t have-” Steve began, but then he just nodded. Again, it was preferable to being by himself. To thinking of the various scenarios, the ways that his life would be from now on...not an Avenger, certainly, maybe some kind of field consultant at best, watching with Agent Coulson and making tactical suggestions...but even then, he would be a liability. Easy to capture. 

“Great,” Tony said. “What do you want, by the way? We’re ordering in?”

“We?” Steve asked, and Tony shrugged his shoulders.

“Why not? Everyone is staying in the Tower tonight.” _You mean everyone is staying in the Tower until they know..._ Steve thought, and he sighed. On the one hand, he appreciated it, because it showed that there was some connection that had been forged amongst all of them. That they cared. On the other hand, he didn’t need people watching over him as he was poked and prodded, treated like the experiment that he was.

“I suppose pizza,” Steve said. He realized, at the mention of dinner, that he was starving, but he wasn’t interested in eating. 

“I enjoy pizza as well,” Thor said. 

“Well, alright then,” Tony said. 

Not surprisingly, everyone ate in his apartment, not just Thor - and Steve knew that some sort of movie choice would follow because of how Clint was bickering with Bruce about some plot point from an action film that they both liked, though Clint’s end was probably motivated by the fact that Helena the brunette nurse was on duty and was taking her dinner break with them. There seemed to be a fine line between the companionship he wanted and the companionship he didn’t want to take his mind off of things. All of them just seemed so - vibrant, well, and comfortable, even Bruce, comparatively. When Steve adjusted himself in his bed he was surprised at how his lower body seemed to lack any kind of heft, as though it was already atrophying away, even though he knew it was just a result of his strength.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Clint asked, and Steve nodded his head, having missed the part of the discussion where they settled on the movie they were going to watch. “It’s a classic.” 

“I’ve never seen it,” said Helena, and Clint grinned at her. They would fondue, Steve could tell - and why, he wondered, couldn’t get get that out of his head? At least he knew better than to say it aloud. 

“Do you have a good vantage point of the screen?” Thor asked. He had pulled his chair closest to Steve’s bed and had been largely quiet throughout dinner. Steve really wanted to ask him why, why all of this? Thor was probably the one he would have determined was least likely, out of their group, to be the nurse.

“Yes, thanks,” Steve said. He smiled at Thor, who merely nodded in reply.

Steve fell asleep half way through the movie, and he was surprised when he woke up and found Clint and Natasha cleaning up. “Sorry, Cap, did we wake you?” Clint asked, and without Helena around, it was clear that he was uneasy around Steve.

“I don’t think so,” Steve said. “I normally don’t fall asleep like that.” 

“You’re healing,” Natasha replied. “It’s to be expected.”

Steve nodded, and almost asked if there was anything he could do to help, and then laughed. There wasn’t going to be much he could do to help for some time, or ever. Instead, he said, “Clint, you shouldn’t blame yourself.”

“I was supposed to hold the perimeter,” Clint said automatically, likely having rehearsed the conversation over and over in his head. Steve knew how that went - he had one he’d done almost constantly with Bucky after he’d died. “I should have warned you, stopped it-”

“We took on these risks when we joined this Initiative,” Steve said. “It’s not going to be...helpful, for you to...” He trailed off, because while he didn’t want Clint to feel responsible, he kind of didn’t care. Why did he have to be the one to make Clint feel better about what had happened to Steve? Still, it was the appropriate thing to do. 

“I know,” Clint said. “And I shouldn’t even...I mean, I’m sorry, that’s all.” He seemed to get it as well, at least. Steve just nodded.

“I marked the point where I think you feel asleep,” Natasha said. “If you want to finish.”

“Is it really worth it?” Steve asked. The movie had been interesting, but also struck him as the same sort of action movie that Hollywood seemed to enjoy replicating - snarky hero but flawed, lots of stuff blowing up, love interest. Sort of like Tony’s life following the Iron Man suit.

“It’s probably one of the best examples of that type of film,” Natasha said.

“It is a classic,” Clint replied, collecting the last of the debris in a garbage bag. 

“How culturally relevant is it?” Steve asked. Given how much media he had missed while frozen, he had found the best way to catch up on things was to watch everything that the most references came from so that he wouldn’t feel like he was listening to people speak in a foreign language when he had conversations with them.

“It’s most seminal contribution is yippe-ki-yay, motherfucker,” Natasha said. 

“Oh.”

“You have to see it,” Clint said, turning to Steve. “That is why it is a classic.”

Natasha shrugged her shoulders.

* * 

The SHIELD doctor, Dr. Rivas, came to see him first in the morning. “We’re going to need some samples,” he said, pulling out a kit that had been especially designed for Steve and Bruce’s healing capabilities. “Blood first, then we’ll get urine and then spinal fluid.”

“Oh,” Steve said. One of the things he had been determined _not_ to think about was how those things were happening. Urination was easier, since the collection was constant and the jar could be emptied without his noticing. The other, though - he glanced over at the nurse, Kevin, but he was busy arranging all of the new materials they were going to use to bandage Steve during his examination.

“Are you alright, Captain Rogers?” Dr. Rivas asked.

“No,” Steve said. She didn’t deserve it - but she wasn’t a friend, so she was a better target than just about anyone else. “No, I am not fucking alright, but thanks, thanks for asking - I can’t move anything below my belly button, my spine is fucked, my life is fucked I-”

“Captain-”

“Steve,” he said, because the title wasn’t really much use any more, except as a pejorative.

“Steve,” she said, and her voice softened as she scooted closer to him on the wheeling stool. “We don’t know anything for sure yet, which is why I’m taking some samples for our lab and for Dr. Banner and Mr. Stark.” Steve cocked his head. “They’re doing research, as well. There are plenty of ways to approach this, if...” She didn’t finish, but Steve nodded his head. He hadn’t thought of what could be done if he didn’t heal on his own. 

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“The response is totally normal,” she said, and quickly slid a needle deep into his arm and began to collect blood. “I’ve worked with a few agents who...you should also considering getting out of bed today. The surface wounds are healing nicely, so it would probably do you good-”

“Physical good, or psychological good?” he asked.

“Both,” she said, tossing a vial of blood into a small container, extracting the needle, and plunging it in again. “We know that a lot of positive outcomes are the result of positive thinking.” Steve couldn’t help but wrinkle his lip and look incredulous at that statement - it was like his mother telling him that if he was a good boy and prayed hard enough God would answer. “I can get you some articles.”

“That’s OK,” Steve said. 

When the doctor and nurse left, he considered what Dr. Rivas had said and finally asked JARVIS if Thor was around. Thor was in his apartment within five minutes, hair pulled back casually into a looped ponytail, freshly shaven and smelling of a shower. Steve couldn’t help but glance at him - he had probably spared, maybe with Clint or Natasha, or worked through the obstacle course. Done something physical. “Steve,” Thor said, “you asked for me?”

Steve appreciated how he worded it - not, _you needed help._ “Do you think you could get me into the chair?” he asked, and waved at the apparently low-tech wheelchair that Tony found to be fairly offensive - but what did Steve did, a rocket powered chair? 

“Of course,” Thor said. “Have you given any thought to what you might like to do?” 

“Uh, not really,” Steve said.

“It is a nice day outside,” Thor said. “I have found fresh air to always be beneficial-”

Steve glanced down at the loose sweats and t-shirt the nurse had dressed him in and grimaced. Thor nodded. “We could go to the terrace.”

“Oh,” Steve said. “OK.” 

It took him a few moments to adapt to moving the chair around, but after that he was easily able to wheel himself to the elevator with Thor behind him. Neither spoke until they were out on the terrace, and Steve had to squint at the sunlight for a moment before being relieved to see they were alone. 

“Can I...do you mind if I tell you something?” he asked, probably spurned by the thought of going out into a crowd of people in a wheelchair, having everyone look at him...a few of them even perhaps recognizing him. 

“Anything,” Thor said, sitting on a lounge chair next to Steve.

“I’m afraid.”

“That is natural,” Thor said, after a moment. “I told you of when I lay bedridden, at the mercy of my wounds, the healers unsure.” Steve nodded. “I have rarely been more frightened.” 

“What would you have done?” Steve asked. Thor cocked his head. “If you hadn’t...if things hadn’t worked out.” 

“I know not,” Thor said. “I was...for much of the time, I was under a powerful magical cocktail to aid in my healing. I slept and dreamt, though when I was conscious I received updates on my condition. But there was little time to ponder...it would not have been, that is, the result would have been different from...” Thor glanced over at the wheelchair, and Steve nodded again. “I would have needed a cane, in the least, and my warrior days would have been over.” 

“Oh,” Steve said. He hadn’t considered some intermediary possibility. It shouldn’t have cheered him, but it did. “Would be nice to have some of that cocktail.” 

“I hope you do not mind,” Thor said, after a moment, “but I have contacted my mother via Heimdall to see if she might assist in your healing. She is the best of Asgard.” Steve had to process this for a moment.

“She would come here?” 

“Aye,” said Thor. “She has also expressed an interest in seeing Midgard - she has not been here since your 1400s, I believe, and she wishes...she wishes to check up on me, I believe is the expression.” Steve had to smile - he had no idea how old Thor was, especially in Asgardian years, but he suspected he was old enough that admitting his mother wanted to do something like that was slightly embarrassing.

Steve sighed, then - and he really wished he could think something without it hitting some kind of exposed nerve. Maybe someday. He used to hate how his mother fussed over him and coddled him, especially when he was sick, but after she died... “I really appreciate that.”

“There is no need,” Thor said. “I wish to do whatever I can.”

“You don’t have to.”

“We are shield brothers,” Thor said. “I would do all that I can for you.” Steve swallowed, feeling warmth in his stomach - until he realized Thor was talking about all of them, and besides, why did he want to be singled out?

“Still,” he said, and Thor nodded, and then both of them turned their attention to the cityscape that sprawled out beneath them.


	3. Chapter 3

“I thought I would come by and say hello.” 

Steve looked up and gave Pepper a slight smile. He had sort of been paying attention to what he found on television. Mostly, he had zoned out, not wanting to really think about anything since Thor had taken him back to his room. They’d spent an hour on the terrace, talking - not about anything in particular, really, and Thor had more than enough stories to sustain conversation. 

“Thanks,” Steve said, and then realized that she was carrying something in her hands.

“I brought something, as well,” she said. “May I?” Steve nodded as she sat in the chair next to his bed and handed him a tablet, similar to the ones that Bruce and Tony used. “Tony said you liked your Mac Book-”

“It’s a lot easier than the PC,” Steve said, holding the tablet carefully as Pepper reached an arm around and slid her finger across, opening the screen. 

“Well, I transferred a pretty decent library on here for you,” she said. A manicured nail tapped an icon, and a shelf opened. “You slide your finger this this, then tap - and there it is.” 

“Oh,” Steve said, and even with all of the technology he had seen, this was still a bit of a marvel - a whole library, in his hands, thousands of books at his disposal. He smiled, slightly, noting that Pepper had opened _The Hobbit._ She must have remembered from when they had all watched _Lord of the Rings_ when they were quarantined after they got exposed to some space fungus that SHIELD wanted Dr. Banner to analyze. “Thank you.”

“I know TV can get boring, when you’re convalescing,” she said. 

Steve nodded. He liked the phrase she chose, how it suggested that he was healing. That he was just waiting for things to get better.

“Tony’s been alright?” she asked, taking a step back from Steve and the tablet.

“Sure,” Steve said. “I mean, Tony’s...Tony.” He gave her a slight, wane smile, not sure what she was getting at.

Pepper nodded. “He’s got a specialist coming in from the Mayo Clinic,” she said.

_Oh,_ Steve realized. _Tony is not taking this well, either._ Of course he wasn’t. A problem had presented itself and he hadn’t solved it yet. “I appreciate that,” he said.

“Apparently SHIELD is kicking up a bit of a fit since he doesn’t have security clearance, but his research...well, Dr. Banner knows more about that.” She got a distant look in her eye, and Steve was tempted to probe at that, just because he didn’t want to talk about himself. What was there to say? _So, what’s new? Oh, well, I’m a cripple..._ “Steve?”

He realized he had squeezed his eyes shut, and so he opened them. “I’m OK,” he said. “I mean, I’m not OK, I-”

“We can talk, if you want,” she said, leaning forward in the chair next to his bed. _We can talk because I know you don’t want to talk to your teammates,_ she meant, and Steve nodded. 

“I just...I know I’m supposed to stay positive, the nurse said, and the serum, but...” he gestured downward, to the tubes that snaked out of him, collecting his waste. To his legs, stiff and bandaged - even though most of the skin wounds had healed.

“I know,” Pepper said. “I don’t know, I mean. Well, maybe a little. When Tony came back...” she shrugged, and Steve hadn’t considered this - he had always seen the reactor as utilitarian, as more than that, as one of the wonders of the future. An engine inside a person that could power a robot battle suit. He had never thought of it as an incursion, a mutilation. 

“Yeah,” he said, not sure what else to add. “But he said it was a privilege. Terrible, but...what am I going to do?” 

“Well,” Pepper said. “I’m pretty sure when not currently learning about biology and biochemistry, Tony is working out some designs. If you’re very well behaved, he might add a rocket launcher.” She gave Steve a sort of silly smile that made him laugh, and he was almost relieved to hear himself. “Seriously, though, I don’t know. None of us do-” 

“I’m tired of telling them it’s not their fault,” Steve said. “Not that it is...” 

“Well,” Pepper said, “I’m sure they don’t want to see you...” She waved her hand, and Steve nodded, then sighed. This was the corollary of being the leader, the commander. 

“Thanks for the tablet,” Steve said, and Pepper stood. 

“You’re welcome,” she said. “Let me know if you need anything.” Steve nodded.

* *

Things fell into a routine for the next two days - at least two of his teammates, always including Thor, would arrive with dinner. They would watch a movie. The nurse would come, and they would leave, and she would carefully take care of things while Steve stared forward and pretended it wasn’t happening. 

He knew he should take it better, because he remembered being treated like this when he was sick. He knew what it was like to have a body completely out of his control. The difference here, though, was the predictability. There were no changes - just the same tasks that needed to be done, taking care of things he no longer had control over. 

“All set, Captain Rogers,” whichever nurse pulled the night shift would say, heading over to his kitchen sink to wash her hands. 

“Thank you,” he would say, and wait until she left to turn the television back on. He knew he should sleep. It was essential for healing, just like all of the healthy meals and the tons of vitamins Tony, Bruce, the SHIELD doctors and the specialists had decided he should swallow.

One of the doctors would come in the afternoon, examine him, talk to him about the research that they were doing. “There are plenty of avenues to explore,” the specialist said. Her accent was vaguely European, and she reminded him of Erksine. Steve couldn’t help but think that Erksine would know what to do - he had fixed him once, after all. His Fairy God Scientist.

“But do you know..?” he asked, each doctor, and they shook their heads.

He didn’t know what he hated worst, the nights or the mornings - the time after breakfast, when he knew everyone was sparring to get out all of their nervous energy and anger. Thor would appear after lunch, freshly showered, and wheel him outside. Steve figured out, by the second day, how to get himself in the chair but he still needed Thor’s help with all of the tubes and bottles. Thor would talk - about things he was confused about on Midgard, about Asgard and the adventures of the Warriors Three and Sif, about stories of the other realms. Then he would take Steve to his room where the nurse would check on him again, and Steve would read until dinner.

Clint was the one that he saw the least, doing a good job at his dance of avoidance. Steve wanted to shake him - it could have been any of them. Any of them could have been responsible, and any of them could have been the one to take the hit. And, in a way, it was probably good that it was him. He could live through it. Or maybe that made it worse - which would you rather have, a dead teammate or a broken one?

Natasha was the second most constant presence, since Tony and Bruce were often in the lab. She said very little, but she at least seemed solid and collected. Steve wondered how she managed it - he wondered if she’d been here before. 

On his third evening Steve wished that he was able to get himself up and at least get around. He hadn’t slept well in days and the top half of his body was itching, almost as though there was a slight electrical charge to it. He sighed and flipped through the channels - and it was the sort of thing he was expected to say, but really, how was it that their could be so many channels with nothing on? 

“Steven?” He startled at the sound of his own name, and then turned and realized Thor had opened the door slightly. “May I come in?” 

“Um, sure,” Steve said, a little confused - he was in a daze, it seemed, it was like back when he was in the war on a mission and just had to keep going...

“I heard your television on as I walked by,” Thor said. “I was coming back from the kitchen.” 

“Oh, OK,” Steve said. Not that Thor needed an excuse. He had basically claimed ownership over the large, overstuffed chair that was next to Steve’s hospital bed now. 

“You cannot sleep,” Thor said.

“Not really,” Steve replied. “Except I’m exhausted.”

“Yes,” Thor said. “I know how that feels.” Steve nodded. “I just thought you might want some company.” 

“I appreciate it,” Steve said. Thor had a soothing presence, unlike everyone else, who seemed on edge for the same reasons that Steve was. 

They sat for a long while. Steve was pretty sure he drifted off to sleep because all of the sudden what they were watching on television didn’t make any sense even though the characters largely seemed the same.

“I have found,” Thor said, glancing at him, “that this program is most instructional on the ways of Midgardians.” 

“Yes,” Steve said. It seemed, to him, that the show was dated - probably the reason that it was in syndication on just about every network. It was on just as much as the plethora of _Law & Order_ shows.

He wanted to say something else but he felt something well up inside of him, this overwhelming sense of loss that he had managed to keep at bay for three days, maybe four days now. He tried to swallow and eventually forced it down.

“It’s not fair,” he said, and then regretted it - he really didn’t want to say it, out loud, but Thor was probably going to be the person with the least judgment regarding his revelation. Thor just met his eyes and nodded, slightly, and Steve sighed. “I never even...I never got to-” he waved his hand towards his groin and sighed.

“You have not made love?” Thor asked, cocking his head, and he appeared genuinely confused.

“Well, no,” Steve said, and felt himself blushing again. “I - I was waiting for the right person, and I found her, and then...” he waved his hand again. “So, no.” When he finished, Thor took his hand - not unusual, Steve reasoned, Thor had shown himself to be pretty touchy when he cared about you. Which was nice.

“There is still much we do not know,” Thor said, voice quiet, and Steve nodded, but he could tell he probably looked both embarrassed and stricken. 

“I know,” Steve said. “But I just can’t help but thinking how funny it is, you know, everything, and-” He realized, as he spoke, that Thor was leaning in, but he was still taken aback when Thor kissed him. It was a soft kiss, and Thor’s lips were gentle and easy against his - almost asking permission, and Steve melted into it just as Thor withdrew.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “That was presumptuous, I-”

“Probably,” Steve said, and then realized what that meant by Thor’s expression, “I mean, no, it wasn’t - well, it was in the sense that I really probably didn’t give you anything to go by but...aw, hell.” 

He kissed Thor this time, mimicking the motions from the last kiss, working his lips against Thor’s and pressing a little harder as time went on. Thor put a hand in his hair and ran his fingers through the back where it was short, and Steve sighed. Then Thor kissed down his neck, sucking gently, before returning to his mouth and opening Steve up. Steve let his tongue slide in against Thor’s, relishing the contact, the first time he’d ever kissed someone like this. When they pulled away, Thor was grinning at him with plump lips. Steve grinned back, but then glanced down at his legs.

“Thor, you...you can’t want-” 

“I believe that point is moot, Steve,” Thor replied, and he brushed some of Steve’s hair off of his face. “That is my decision to make, and I ask you not to question me on it.” 

“OK,” Steve said, and he blushed again, because that was - he’d never have someone say something like that to him with such surety. “OK.” How long had he wanted this and not really known it? He didn’t think he’d actively considered it, beyond thinking that Thor was kind, considerate, a welcome presence, the person he sort of least suspected to be the one who would be by his side.

But it all came flooding to him, as he realized how stupid he’d been - the glances Thor had given him in the gym, the grip of him on Steve as they sparred, the smiles, the way Thor would crowd in on him at team dinners and when they went out drinking, Thor’s hand on the small of his back when they were at the Met to guide him in the right direction. 

“I feel pretty stupid,” Steve said. “I never-”

“You have been attracted to men before?” Thor asked, his smile soft, almost amused.

“I...yes,” Steve said, bowing his head and pressing his lips together. Bucky, of course, but he’d made clear, one drunk night - _Steve, c’mon, you’ve had too many beers..._ \- Gabe, he’d admired, but they both had gals... “I guess it just...oh, shucks.” 

“The Widow advised that I should perhaps be more forward,” said Thor.

“You talked to Natasha about-” Steve said, and shook his head.

“I thought her to be the one who would give the best advise about the customs of this realm in regards to...attraction,” Thor said.

“Yeah,” Steve said, after quickly running through the options in his head - he might have gone with Pepper, but Thor didn’t seem to be as close to her. “She probably thought it was a good idea, to tell you what to do, because...” He had to smile. He did need something. 

“Aye,” Thor said, and he reached and clasped Steve’s hand. 

“What am I going to do?” he asked, voice soft. He felt something lurch in his stomach, the glow of the moment suddenly over. There was only one first kiss.

“Whatever you must,” Thor said. “We will all be here to support you.” 

“But we could have...” If he hadn’t been so dumb, at least, they could have had more. Thor just shook his head.

“Only the present is important,” he said, and squeezed Steve’s hand to punctuate it. Steve nodded.

They both queried JARVIS about movies until the AI selected one that he thought will match what they are after - lighthearted, but still well written, enough plot and action that it kept moving.

When Steve woke up the next morning, Thor was sprawled out across the chair, snoring. Steve smiled again. 

* *

He had the nurse, Helena, the one Clint liked, get the wheel chair for him after breakfast. He was relieved when Thor just nodded at the nurse and then bowed out, leaving her to the personal tasks she needed to accomplish to get him ready.

As she worked below his waist, freeing him from the tubes, she said, “How long will you be out of bed for?”

“A few hours, I guess, why..?” Steve asked, and she glanced over to a rolling tray where there was a plastic packet that contained a diaper. “Oh.”

“We should probably slip it on in case,” she said, voice soft, and Steve nodded. What if Clint dated her, he wondered? She would come over for dinner and he would remember the time that she diapered him. Or she would still be the one diapering him, because someone was going to need to do it. He sighed and resisted the panic that was building in his chest again. He was getting good at that, at least.

He had expected Thor to be outside the door, waiting, but he had gone somewhere. Steve pressed his lips together - but then, what had it been? Just a kiss, and despite Thor’s words, not really a commitment.

Steve’s primary motivation for getting out of bed was to get food. He finally felt hungry, and he was done with protein shakes and booster powders to give him all the extra calories he needed. He put his hands on the wheels and rolled, and it felt strange to do it by himself. This was it, though, he thought, and he pivoted to get into the kitchen.

Clint was in the kitchen. He probably would have slipped out if Steve wasn’t blocking the door with the wheelchair, and for a minute, he looked like he might climb onto the countertop and into the vents. Finally, he said, “You want some coffee?” 

“Who was it?” Steve asked Clint. He’d been wanting to ask, for awhile now, and was just waiting for the right moment - or the right way to phrase it.

“What?” Clint asked, handing Steve his mug of coffee.

Steve held eye contact. “Who did you lose? It’s why you always blame yourself, sort of? I know how it feels.” 

“Oh,” Clint said, and he sat down at the kitchen table, pursed his lips, and stared at his mug. “My brother - he, uh, turned into not the best...well, a bad person. Got shot by the FBI. I was trying to help him get out of town, didn’t know how deep he was in...” Clint shook his head. Steve knew the rest of the story from Clint’s file, it was how Clint had wound up on SHIELD’s radar. They had come in and got him out of custody, taken him on as an agent.

“Bucky,” Steve said, even though Clint probably already knew. “We were on a train together, trying to get Armin Zola...he fell.” Clint nodded, glanced away for a moment. 

“Well,” he said. “I’ve guess we’ve got each other figured out, then?” He smiled, slightly, and Steve took a sip of his coffee and shrugged. “You want some breakfast? I was making eggs and bacon.”

“Sure,” Steve said, and then felt something different in the air - almost as though it was full of electricity, but something else. He looked over at Clint, whose body had tensed in response. It was just a moment, but then it was over.

They looked at each other. Then JARVIS said, “Mr. Odinson’s mother has arrived.”

Steve had almost forgot that Thor had promised she would come - probably because he didn’t want to invest too much in the idea of Asgardian magic. If Loki could make all of those duplicates, do the things that he did...

“I guess I should get some more eggs,” Clint said, and Steve gave him a wane smile before wheeling himself into the main living space on the floor.

He arrived just as the elevator door opened. Tony and Bruce came out, both looking sleep deprived and a little confused. Bruce shielded his eyes from the sunlight pouring into the living space, while Tony winced. “I should really start charging a toll,” he said, “if people are going to keep using the roof of my Tower for trans dimensional travel.” 

They both turned as another elevator opened behind them, this one containing Thor and his mother. Steve hadn’t been sure what to expect, but the woman was gorgeous, quite tall and regal in the softly draped dress. She seemed to float towards him rather than walk, with Thor right behind her.

“You must be Steven,” she said, smiling.

“Ma’am,” Steve said, and offered his hand. She glanced back at Thor, who nodded, and then offered her own. Steve wasn’t sure how strong he was - he imagined more than a human woman, but probably less than Thor - and hoped his grip was appropriate. 

“Well,” she said, and her smile was quite broad. She surveyed the room with interest. “Midgard certainly has changed.” When she looked out the window her expression changed as she saw what remained of the devastation and the construction cranes. Her lips flickered, pursed, then set into a neutral expression. “Who is everyone else?” Tony introduced the rest of the group before Thor could, and Frigga smiled at each in turn. “Is there somewhere we might be more comfortable?”

“We can go to my room,” Steve said. As he pivoted and wheeled and realized Thor had a sturdy wood box cast under his arms, and all he could remember was Loki’s magic. Steve shivered.


	4. Chapter 4

Thor helped lay him on his stomach, and Steve put his head on a pillow. He wasn’t able to see what she was doing, which made him nervous - until Thor kneeled down so that their eyes were just about even. “My mother is the best healer in Asgard,” Thor said. “She is too modest to admit it herself.” Frigga made a soft humph.

She started by placing her hand on the back of Steve’s neck.There was something wet and cool on her hand. Steve shivered.“There is nary a scar on your skin,” she murmured.

“I think you can find some old ones, if you look,” Steve replied. He knew there was still the one on his arm, at least, when he’d cut himself on some glass as a child. His mother had stitched it herself. It had just gotten stretched and distorted when he grew. Steve sighed - Frigga’s touch was very similar, gentle but firm. 

Frigga ran two hands around his shoulders and his biceps. Steve felt something begin to hum in his muscles and he opened his mouth to ask what she was doing, but she spoke before he could.

“I am merely assessing,” she said. 

“It is diagnostic,” Thor said, a soft grin on his face. Steve gave him a smile back, wondering where he had picked it up from. Some movie. Some _Law & Order_ episode. 

It felt a lot like a massage - which was a bit awkward, coming from the mother of a man you had kissed the night before, and Steve wondered if she knew about that. _Well, she probably would,_ he told himself. _Magic, or the guy on the bridge who sees everything..._ Then Frigga traced a hand down his spine. 

He inhaled when he stopped being able to feel her hand, knowing that it was still on his back, tracing further down. She placed her hand on the last part of his back that had feeling, and she worked her hand in a circle. She traced a finger down his spine and hummed softly to herself, then removed her hands. 

No one said anything for a moment, then Thor spoke. “What remedy will you use, then, mother?” There was tension in his voice. Steve wondered how he had managed to seem so sure, so confident last night. 

“None,” Frigga said, and Steve’s throat constricted. “Your body is healing itself, Steven. It is a complex wound and will take some time.” 

Steve turned his head, not really believing her. “I haven’t - there hasn’t been any change-”

“I can feel things knitting back together,” she said. “Have you ever experienced a deep wound? A wound in your core?”

Steve furrowed his brow - he’d been shot, several times, but that had mostly been bloody and the wounds had healed relatively quickly. He’d never really thought about it. Maybe he’d managed to dodge some literal bullets. “I don’t think I have,” he said.

“Also,” Frigga said, and her voice was softer, “your healing may not be as optimal as you remember, owing to your period of confinement...”

“Oh,” Steve said, saving her from searching for an end to the sentence. “I guess I didn’t even think of that. So, um, you think...I’ll be OK?”

Frigga glanced at Thor - apparently OK didn’t translate well in Allspeak. “Will he regain his normal usage?” Thor asked.

“In time,” Frigga said, “though it is possible there may be some loss...I cannot tell. And your relief will not be immediate - weeks, perhaps?”

Steve felt himself shake slightly, as though the weight that was lifted off of him was literal. Some loss. He had been preparing for far worse. Steve squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting anything to leak out in front of Thor. “That’s OK,” he managed, and opened his eyes when Thor and Frigga both gave him soft smiles. There was palpable relief on Thor’s face. He reached and clapped Steve on the shoulder and squeezed. 

“Do you require sustenance, mother?” Thor asked. “I have often found travel amongst realms-”

“Yes, that would be most appreciated,” Frigga said. “I am interested in sampling the cuisines you have spoke off. If you do not mind, I should like to go freshen up?” Thor nodded in the direction of the bathroom, and once his mother had closed the door, he smiled at Steve. 

“You are...relieved?” he asked.

“I - yeah,” Steve said, and he blinked, catching the moisture around his eyes in his lashes. He moved a hand to wipe at them. “I really thought-”

Thor interrupted him with a kiss, a soft, needy kiss where he lined his lips up with Steve’s and pressed against them slowly, opening his mouth carefully as Steve responded. Then he withdrew. “We should order some food,” he said. 

“Yes,” Steve replied, a little dazed - between the kiss, the diagnosis, what both of them meant. 

“JARVIS, alert the others that we shall feast,” Thor said. 

“Would you like me to gather an order together as well, Master Odinson?” JARVIS replied.

“Aye,” Thor said. “From the Thai restaurant, my mother will enjoy their fragrant delights.” Steve smiled at him. “Would you like assistance, Steve?” 

“Oh,” Steve said. “Yes, I...yeah. Thanks.” Steve didn’t need it - he’d found his new center of balance and realized how to swing himself around, but it was...nice to have Thor’s arms around him and his hands on him. Steve sighed as Thor clasped both his shoulders, and Thor smiled at him. Then he leaned down and kissed Steve.

It was less gentle than the last kiss, and Thor moved his lips until Steve opened his. He touched his tongue to Thor’s and let Thor set the rhythm. Thor pulled back and then sucked on his lower lip before giving him a slight, closed peck before he pulled away. 

Steve just stared at him, a little overwhelmed - he had never expected anything like _this_ , especially under these circumstances. It almost seemed like something he would hallucinate if he were still frozen, but he shook that off. 

“This is good news,” Thor said.

Steve nodded, then reached his hands down for the wheels of the chair. Frigga emerged from the bathroom and smiled at both of them. “Well then,” she said. “We should share this good news with your other companions.”

* *

“I think Tony is disappointed,” Bruce said, coming up on Steve’s side and sitting on the couch next to him. “He had a lot of schematics-”

“He really was going to make a rocket wheel chair, wasn’t he?” Steve asked, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“Well, that he still might - Pepper and I are trying to discourage him...” Bruce pursed his lips together, and again, Steve sensed something awkward there. It made sense. Pepper had been Tony’s constant for a long time - ten years, as far as Steve knew - and Bruce had suddenly appeared and taken up all of his time. It was like when Bucky got girlfriends. Well, except the reverse.

“I can add in to that, if you need some more support,” Steve said. Bruce nodded and gave him a slight smile. 

“I think he was mostly focused on a modified version of Iron Man pants,” Bruce said. Steve nodded, trying to envision that. Bruce glanced to the side, and Steve followed his gaze. Tony and Pepper were in a corner. Pepper’s hand was on Tony’s shoulder and they were laughing. Steve sighed. 

“I’m not sure how practical thought would be,” Steve said, and he shuddered slightly at the image of himself, diapered, walking around in a pair of Iron Man pants. “I mean, why not just a whole suit?”

“Branding,” Bruce said, and after a moment Steve realized he was completely serious. “Tony’s got the Iron Man thing, Rhodey’s got the Iron Patriot suit-”

“Oh, I forgot about that,” Steve said. “So I just get pants.”

“Exactly,” Bruce said, and Steve watched as he glanced over at Tony and Pepper. “What did Thor order, anyway?”

“Thai,” Steve replied. Bruce nodded, picked his hand up - as though he were going to reach over and touch Steve on the shoulder - and then put it back down before getting up and walking over to the kitchen, presumably to get something to drink.

Steve glanced around - Natasha and Clint were talking with Thor and Frigga, and Steve got the feeling that some sort of apology might be going on, so he just glanced down at his hands and took a moment. The threat had been so real, this time - palpable, more so than any other close encounters in the field...it was the kind of dread that he had felt when he was downing the plane in Antarctica, except he had Peggy on the line...until he crashed, submerged, and was suddenly drowning in water so cold it made his lungs and skin burn.

“You appear contemplative.” Steve glanced up, having been so immersed in his thoughts he had not heard Frigga approach. Then again, Frigga was incredibly light on her feet.

“Well,” Steve said, as she took the chair Bruce had occupied, “I guess...a lot has happened. I’m relieved.” 

“Yes, I should say so,” Frigga said, and there was something in the way she smiled, or the tone she took...

“I, um...” Steve said, and she placed her hand on his and clasped it.

“You mean a good deal to my son,” she said, voice soft. Steve nodded, and widened his eyes slightly as she squeezed a bit tighter, emphasizing her strength. Steve had no doubt she would have an upper-hand on him before any of the magic came into play. “But I sense you will be a comfort to him.” Steve nodded, still holding her gaze. _Don’t disappoint me or him,_ it said. 

“I...that’s nice to hear?” Steve managed. “I mean...”

“Of course,” said Frigga, and her smile was soft again and she looked maternal in the comforting sense, not the protective sense. “Thor has told me of your valiant deeds and your honor during battle.” 

“I just,” Steve said, and tried to figure out exactly what she was saying and how to answer it - his standard _I don’t like bullies response_ would probably hit a little too close to home. “I just did what I thought I should.” Frigga smiled at him.

“The delivery is downstairs, sir,” JARVIS said.

“I am most amused by this invisible butler,” said Frigga. “A construction of your computers, and yet he possesses a level of sentience beyond what you attribute to your machines.”

“Er, yes?” Steve said. “I mean, yes, he does. It’s always what has...to be honest, made me a little uncomfortable..?” He grimaced, hoping he hadn’t said something stupid. He was definitely acutely aware of the fact that Frigga was probing him, trying to make some kind of assessment. 

“In the nine realms, you would often be surprised where sentience lies,” Frigga said, and there was something both ominous and mournful in her tone. “Let us eat. You like this type of cuisine? Perhaps you might recommend what I should try?” 

“Oh, sure,” Steve said, and rolled behind her as she stood and walked over towards the table where Pepper had set up plates and silverware. She was standing next to the table, on her phone, and then pointed at it and waved at Tony before walking out of the room. _She worked too hard,_ Steve thought, _but she also seemed to want to._

Steve ended up seated next to Tony at the end of the table while Frigga sat next to Thor and Bruce - and, based on Bruce’s expression, Steve was willing to bet she was asking about the Hulk. Tony followed Steve’s gaze and then met his eye as he ate a fried corn cake. “He’s getting there, don’t you think?”

“Bruce?” Steve asked. It was like Tony was talking about how his fifth grader was learning his multiplication tables. 

“Yes, Bruce,” Tony said. “I mean, I get it, we’ve all got our things but that’s a _Thing_ , but, still, Jolly Green’s been a good team player...he was concerned for you, even. He likes you. Probably because you let him smash.” 

“He was concerned for me?” Steve asked. He had figured Hulk had dug him out because Tony told him to.

“Yeah, he kept going _Where’s Captain?_ until we located you, then he was pretty adamant about pulling shit apart to get you out until I explained how we had to work carefully...anyway, point is - did I have a point?”

“About Bruce,” Steve said. He mixed some rice in with his curry. 

“It’s like what I first told him,” Tony said. “He’s got to learn to strut. Because, you know, shit happens.” 

Steve glanced down at his lap and then at Tony, and it was clear Tony had completely forgotten about Steve’s circumstances from the mortified expression on his face. “It’s OK,” Steve said, quickly. “Frigga is pretty sure it will get better...maybe even fully heal, she wasn’t sure, uh, but she seems to know...” He pressed his lips together and looked over at Frigga, who was laughing at something Bruce said.

“You were worried about impressing Thor’s mom?” Tony asked, and his smile widened as Steve nodded. “You are the ultimate bring home to mom date.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Steve asked. How could Tony have known? He tried to figure out if it was best to play along, or not, but Tony kept talking.

“You’re every mom’s dream,” Tony said, “You turn up in your pressed slacks with some flowers and your hair all nicely parted like that and make polite conversation with the mom, come from a good family, play on the football team-”

“I think some of your own, ah, issues might be bleeding through there,” Steve said, and he had to smile. He could imagine that Tony wasn’t exactly who certain moms wanted dating their daughters. 

“Well,” Tony said, crossing his arms. “How astute.” He paused. “Besides, why worry? It’s not like your trying to date Thor.”

“No,” Steve said, which was the truth - he was pretty sure he was dating Thor, under most definitions. He didn’t know why he just didn’t own up to it. Probably because it was Tony.

Tony gave him a smile, then pat his shoulder. “We’re going to have to get you a physical therapist. I wonder if we can find someone with experience with superhero rehabilitation-”

“What about the guy who worked with Coulson?” 

“He was just standard issue SHIELD,” Tony said. Steve shrugged. “You’re Captain fucking America. We’ll get you the best. I wanted to get Agent the best, but he blah blah blah I know the guy, it was enough just getting him to check out of their medical bay.” 

“When we kidnapped him,” Steve said, and he grinned slightly at the memory.

“Semantics, Steve,” Tony said.


	5. Chapter 5

Agent Coulson escorted the physical therapist into Steve’s room the next morning. Steve was still speaking with his doctor. He tried to act, when the doctor told him, like he was relieved to be rid of the catheter, but he didn’t really like the next step. 

“Dr. Tom Thornton,” Agent Coulson said. “This is Captain Steve Rogers - and Dr. Bruehl, who you spoke with over the phone.” 

Steve nodded at the physical therapist. He was impressed that Tony had been able to find someone so quickly - though, maybe he shouldn’t be. When you were Tony Stark...

“It’s nice to meet you” Steve said, and he smiled. Dr. Thornton kept his distance, glancing around the room as though he was attempting to discern something. Steve wondered if all physical therapists were doctors. He'd never actually met one before.

“Dr. Thornton has signed a full confidentiality agreement,” Agent Coulson said, and while it was directed at Steve, he could tell he wasn't the intended audience. “He’ll be working under SHIELD for the duration, but, as I emphasized, this gets the highest level of classification.” 

Steve had never thought to ask about how many people within SHIELD knew about what happened to him - and now, it made him feel heavy inside his gut. It was like during the war, when he knew that people depended on him and that what he did was important for national moral. He hadn’t really thought, even after New York, that he was that kind of symbol again. Maybe he needed to pay more attention to the press clippings that got forwarded to him everyday by the P.R. professional Pepper had found to handle the Avengers. 

“That’s understood,” said Tom. 

“It will be nice working with you, Dr. Thornton,” said Dr. Bruehl, who had come from a spinal rehabilitation in Minnesota. “I read your most recent paper and...well.”

“Same,” said Dr. Thornton, and Steve caught the once over that he was given. Steve wanted to sigh and apologize for his current condition. 

“I’ll let you begin,” Dr. Bruehl said. “We can meet and compare notes over coffee later.” 

Agent Coulson pulled Thor’s chair back to the wall - and Steve wasn’t sure how to feel about the fact that he now thought of it as Thor's, despite the way things were developing - and sat in it. “I hope you don’t mind if I observe,” he said, and Steve nodded, a little relieved.

“Sure,” Steve replied. “Why not?” He remembered how Agent Coulson had tried to keep them all away from him when he’d first been brought to the Tower. Natasha and Clint had gone against this, though, so Steve had as well - though he had less to talk about, so he mostly just stopped in and said hello on his way to and from the gym, occasionally watching a news program or wheeling Coulson to the common area to make sure he had dinner with them or, on one interesting evening, played board games. 

“So,” said Dr. Thornton. “We’re going to start working with you in the bed, as I would for a standard rehabilitation - we’re going to follow that protocol, really, with the understanding that it might be accelerated in your, ah, case.”

“That sounds good,” Steve said, and gave him a smile. There was something in the way that he said the last line, the look in his eye, made Steve feel like a lab experiment. He suddenly understood why Agent Coulson was there, why there had probably been ridiculous amounts of paperwork and vague threats. 

Agent Coulson looked like he was doing some kind of puzzle book the entire time, but Steve knew better. He stayed after Dr. Thornton left, and waited a moment before he looked up at Steve. “You like him alright? Stark insisted on getting him, but we do have someone at SHIELD pretty familiar with-”

“I think for now,” Steve said, “I mean, he seems very knowledgable...so that’s good.” 

Agent Coulson nodded and set his book aside. He smiled at Steve.

“When you were...recovering, how did you, you know, pass the time?” Steve asked, finally. 

“Oh, well, I took up crosswords,” Agent Coulson said, holding up the book - _Difficult Crosswords!_. “And I caught up on some television programs I’d been meaning to watch...but, for the most part I was bored out of my mind.”

“Ah,” said Steve. “Well, it’s good to know it’s not just me.” 

“Well...” Agent Coulson said, and Steve glanced down. He had felt more today, he was pretty certain of it, from when the nurse had come in to take care of things through the doctors exam and the physical therapy. He didn’t want to say anything, though, because despite what Frigga had said, he wasn’t going to consider the outcome definite until it actually happened. “It’s hard when you are used to being active, to be...ah, unwell.” 

Steve arched an eyebrow at this. “That’s the funny thing though, is that I used to be really good at being unwell and...I forgot what it was like, I guess, or...” He thought of his mother. He’d been avoiding thinking of her, but it was bound to happen - how she had draped cool clothes across his forehead, gently rubbed his back, wrapped him in blankets when he was shivering and then changed them when they were coated in sweat. Maybe part of the reason he had felt comfortable, yesterday, wasn’t just finding out he would get better but...

“Well,” said Agent Coulson. “I should be better at this. I, uh, have done this before, with Clint and Natasha. I’d say, in comparison, you’re handling things well. Clint, once, had a leg and the opposite arm broken and...” he shook his head, and there was a slight smile on his face, almost like he was talking about his kids. “Anyway.” 

Both of them turned their heads at the same time. Thor looked sheepish, standing in the door. “Forgive me, I thought that you were free, Steve-”

“I was just leaving,” Agent Coulson said, and gave Steve a soft smile that indicated that he knew. _It could be worse,_ Steve thought. 

“Your physical therapy was of use?” Thor asked, sitting in the chair right where Coulson had just been.

“I think so,” Steve said. “He’s an expert, so...” He shrugged his shoulders and flinched at the twinge he felt. Pins and needles, but deep inside somewhere. He should have taken it as a good sign but it soon turned to a hard burning that took his breath away.

Thor was next to him and placed his hand on Steve’s back as Steve bent over. “Should I get assistance?” 

“No, I think...” Steve said, getting his breath back and inhaling, and exhaling, until the sensation subsided. “I think that’s nerves repairing, I just twisted or something and...” 

Thor ran a hand down his back, and then up again, and clasped his shoulder. Steve turned and saw him looking at him intently. This time, Steve initiated the kiss. He leaned in further and met Thor’s lips, which quirked into a smile. Thor kissed his easily while still applying pressure, and Steve plunged his tongue into Thor’s mouth. When he pulled back Thor’s eyes were closed and he appeared content. “If you continue to kiss like that I will not believe your protestations of inexperience,” Thor said.

Steve pressed his lips together at that, because at some point...not that he didn’t want to, but it was easier, certainly, being unable to do certain things instead of have to say lame expressions like _we should take things slow._

“I am sorry, I meant for that to be humorous - though sometimes the All Speak twists these things-”

“No, it’s...it was,” Steve said. “I just...I’m just nervous.” 

“Of course,” Thor said. “Your demeanor oft makes me forget how young you are.” 

“Sort of,” Steve said, and he was able to say it with a smile. _Progress,_ he thought. “I’d say we should go to the roof, if it weren’t raining.” 

“Clint has invited us to watch what he terms stupid movies with him in the main area, if you would like,” Thor said. “Though it would be with your nurse, Helena, the one he is smitten with, if you find that uncomfortable...”

“No, I-” Steve paused. “Is this, like...a date thing?” He didn’t know how else to phrase it.

“I do not believe that was his intention,” Thor said. “I merely told him I was on my way to your room...would you like assistance?” 

“No, um, the physical therapist said I should probably start doing that myself,” Steve said. “If you don’t mind bringing the chair over?”

“Aye,” Thor said, though he kept careful watch on Steve as he maneuvered his way into the chair. Steve liked how Thor just presumed he would engage in the movie watching - and, really, he needed it. The social worker he had spoken with when his outcome was still indeterminate had made that clear. 

“Hello,” he said to Clint and Helena the nurse, who was sitting next to Clint on the couch with a diet soda. “Movie?” It was only then he realized that Helena must have spent the night - there was something in the way that she was purposefully not touching Clint but looking at him. Steve gave her a smile - he still didn’t exactly think it was cool, or whatever the phrase was, to be dating someone who was involved in the intimate care of your teammate. But then maybe Clint wasn’t aware of that. Maybe he just thought she was taking his temperature.

“Yes,” said Clint, with a slight grin. Steve found it funny that, for all the talk of his romantic prowess, Tony hadn’t quite figured out what was going on but some of the others had. “Depending on what you’re interested in. And there can be lunch.” 

“We have leftover food from last evening,” Thor said. He nodded at the other couch near the television. “You would likely be more comfortable there, Steve?” 

“Sure,” Steve said. It was easier to get from the wheelchair over to the couch, and Thor tucked the chair behind and then sat next to Steve, so close that their thighs touched - though Steve had to confirm this by glancing down, and he sighed. Thor put his hand on his shoulder and rubbed. 

“You promised stupid action movies, if I remember,” Thor said. 

“Well, sure,” Clint said, glancing at Helena. “We’ll go, uh, historically, start with the eighties, which, in my opinion, is both the birth of, and definitely the first apex of, stupid action movies.” 

“You seem to have quite a ream of knowledge on this subject,” Thor said. 

“Uh,” Clint replied. “Yeah.” He glanced over at Helena, who smiled at him. “So. To begin. _Die Hard._ ”

“This film sounds like I something I will be most interested in,” Thor said. He glanced over at Clint, and then met Steve’s eyes. For a moment, Steve debated, but then he remembered how it felt to have someone deny they were with you, even if on a date, and he smiled back. Thor draped an arm over his shoulder and pulled him in, and Steve winced and inhaled when the needle like sensation returned. 

“I’m OK,” he managed, before either Clint or Helena got up. “Just, uh, regenerating, over here.” 

“Ah,” Clint said, as though that were a perfectly normal explanation. He picked up one of the overly complicated television remotes and began to look for the movie.

* *

“I’m sorry,” Helena said later that evening, when she was on duty. “I didn’t - if it’s awkward, I can...it’s certainly unprofessional.” She was carefully trimming Steve’s toe nails, which...yeah, probably not the best time to be having this conversation. Not the worst, though. 

“Oh, no,” Steve said. “I mean...” 

“Just, you know, you work for a classified organization and...it’s not like I can just get a boyfriend, he asks what I did today, oh, you know, worked with a bunch of agents who got hurt when giant dinosaur shaped robots tried to blow up a city...”

“They were dinosaur shaped?” Steve asked. He hadn’t really paid that much attention to the aesthetics of the things that he was trying to stop. And he hadn’t been inclined to watch the footage of their fight, even though it was part of the standard debriefing.

“I thought so,” Helena said. “Velociraptors.” _Of course dinosaurs have changed,_ Steve thought, and he knew he shouldn’t be upset about that- “Captain?”

“I’m OK, I was just...” Steve looked at her, and there was some genuine concern in her eyes. He sighed. “Just thinking about how much things have changed.”

“I bet that’s hard,” she said. “It’s good to have a lot of people who care about you, though?” He wondered how often she had said that to some agent, in some other context, and he smiled at her.

Thor was the only one who came for dinner that evening, and he seemed more somber than he had that afternoon. Steve could guess why, but he wasn’t sure how to tease it out. Not that he probably needed to do anything. People had a tendency to just tell him things. He figured it was because he was small, and not threatening - in whatever capacity. For Bucky’s dates it was in a sexual way, which was depressing, and while Bucky would be getting the drinks they would complain to Steve while his own date was right in front of him. But it still continued even when he was like he was now, for people who had never known him before - the Commandos had always been appearing next to him, when they had time to rest, to talk about relationships back home or what they were afraid of or baseball. 

“It must have been nice to see your mother,” Steve figured this was a pretty generic opening line. Steve had been surprised she had left that evening, but then again, it was probably hard to sit around with all of the people who had fought against your son when he tried to subjugate their planet/realm. 

“She was pleased to meet you,” Thor said, and sighed.

Steve poked at the casserole Bruce had made for dinner and met Thor’s eyes. 

“She is burdened,” he replied. 

“It’s understandable,” Steve said.

“I wish to be of some relief to her but I fear I may only remind her of...” Thor trailed off. “She and Loki were closer...he shared her affinity for magic, and was often mocked for this, but. And yet it mattered not to Loki, because he thought I had the ear of my father.”

_It’s like a Shakespearean play,_ Steve thought, but he nodded. He didn’t really know what to say because he’d never really had to navigate all the intricacies of a family. It had been him and his mother, and then him and Bucky, and there was no question about how either of those things worked. 

“I thought she might find this a welcome detour, but I did not consider the impact it would have upon her to see the city when she arrived,” Thor said. “It was thoughtless.”

“That’s...” Steve paused, trying to articulate what he wanted to say. “It wasn’t thoughtless of you, there was nothing you could do about it.” He was pretty sure, at least, that Thor had said the Tesseract did not work best indoors. “You can’t...I mean, I know you want to, but you can’t do everything for everyone, all the time. I’m still figuring that out, too, though.”

“Aye,” Thor replied. “Before I cared for none but myself.” 

Steve wasn’t sure what to say to that - he knew a lot of people went through that sort of thing, but he’d always...there had always been someone that he had to worry about, and, in some cases, really worry about. “It’s something you learn to balance,” he replied. 

“Aye,” Thor said. “Still, I tell myself that it is my responsibility to Midgard to right the wrongs inflicted by my brother. Yet his imprisonment weighs heavily on many in Asgard, and I am able to avoid that.” 

_There it is,_ thought Steve. “Well, you know, it’s...you wouldn’t feel great about either choice.” 

“No, you are correct,” said Thor, and after chewing on some of the casserole, he said, “But there are more things that bring my joy here than would on Asgard.”

Steve felt a blush riding in his cheeks and fought to keep it down, though he knew it was no use. He was so fair, there was no way...

“Ah,” said Thor. “Well, it is good to see that I am making myself understood better.”

“Uh,” said Steve. “I may just have been, uh, oblivious.” Thor smiled at this, which was what Steve was hoping for.

“I have endeavored to be more straightforward,” Thor said. “Especially in the future.”

This really made Steve blush, and he sighed. Thor chuckled, which was also something.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies it's been awhile - I've started my summer jobs, and my normal job has decided that even though I usually work 8-12 hours with them a week, now that I've changed availability, they are going to give me ALL the hours.

Tony’s doctor, Dr. Bruehl - the spinal specialist, and the SHIELD doctor, Dr. Rivas, came in the next morning with a cart. Steve frowned. “I want to test your responsiveness very thoroughly,” Dr. Bruehl said. “I heard you’ve been having some neuropathic pain.”

“Yes,” Steve said. It had kept him up most of the night - but he wasn’t complaining, not with what it meant. “It’s, uh, mostly in my back...”

“Your spinal cord will have to regenerate first,” said Dr. Rivas, interrupted Dr. Bruehl. Tony kept referring to him as the expert doctor, but Steve felt a little allegiance to Dr. Rivas, since he had been the one who had got him through his thawing out, or defrosting, or whatever, and had run all of the tests on him and seemed to have a pretty good understanding of what made Steve tick. Plus, SHIELD probably hadn’t allowed Dr. Bruehl to read any of the really classified information on him, like all of Erksine’s work. 

“OK,” Steve said. “That makes sense.”

“If we could get you on your back, Captain,” Dr. Bruehl said, and he lowered one of the bars alongside the bed to aid Steve. 

Steve pulled himself up and around using his arms - with some assistance from the attending nurse. Dr. Bruehl took a small, silver implement with a rounded end and began to poke Steve down his back, seemingly centimeter by centimeter. 

It was a repeat of one of the tests that they had done at SHIELD, but all he could think of was the implement that Tony had poked Dr. Banner with on the Helicarrier - and how Steve had reacted. He had mostly been concerned with everyone else on the boat, he had wanted to ensure their safety. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Bruce. Actually, it was more that he didn’t trust Tony. Still. He had never fully apologized for that, and he felt-

“Ow!” he said. He had been mmmhmming before then, to each poke that he could feel. 

“That’s at L2,” said Dr. Rivas.

“Distinct improvement,” said Dr. Bruehl. Steve sighed. He hated how doctors talked about you like you weren’t there - something that hadn’t really changed since the 1940s, despite how everyone went on about the radical advances and improvements in medicine. Well - they had cured smallpox. And polio. Probably some other stuff, too, that no one thought was important enough to mention to Steve.

“How about that?” Dr. Bruehl asked, and Steve nodded and then gave them his affirmative. The nurse was on a stool next to his face and smiled at him.

“I know it hurts,” she said.

“It’s fine,” Steve said. She nodded her head, like people said this all the time. Steve resisted the urge to tell her he really was fine - he’d hurt a lot worse than this. Everyone seemed to think, with the accelerated healing, it meant he didn’t feel any pain. All it really meant was the pain was over a lot sooner.

“Might be L3, at that point - how about this, Captain?”

“No,” Steve said, and sighed again. 

“With L2, at least, we can test abdominal muscles and thigh flexion,” Dr. Rivas said. “Should we use an electro-stimulation?” 

“You know I’m right here?” Steve asked, realizing this was going to go on for some time. The nurse blanched. 

“Apologies, Captain,” said Dr. Bruehl, “Most patients aren’t concerned with the minutiae-”

“I find that hard to believe,” Steve replied. They probably just didn’t want to bother because their doctors were...dicks. “Do I need to flip over, again?” 

“We should look at the thigh muscles in the back, uh, Captain,” said Dr. Rivas. “Also, we can begin to check...your anal muscles response, and we should...” 

“Oh,” Steve said, and he could feel himself instantly blush, probably all the way down to his toes. “Should that be, ah, improving?” 

“Generally excretory function, oh, well, both ends,” Dr. Bruehl said, “is controlled by the sacral spine - while most of your injury was at T7 and L1 - that’s the thorasic and first lumbosacral - there was also some damage further down at the sacral regions as well.” 

“Sexual function, too,” Dr. Rivas said. Steve had to squeeze his eyes shut so he didn’t have to look at the nurse. 

* *

“Your visit revealed improvement?” Thor asked. 

“Uh, yes,” Steve said, and he glanced away for a moment. He knew he shouldn’t be embarrassed, but again - he wanted to get some of those areas involved with Thor, and so he didn’t want him to think that-

“They investigated some of your intimate functions?” Thor asked. Steve nodded, and Thor reached and clasped his hand. “It is always awkward when one is regarded in a clinical way.” 

“Exactly,” Steve said, just glad to find that he wasn’t the only one - even with everything that had been wrong with him as a child, none of it had really affected him that way, so the doctors had been mostly hands off down there.

_Really? Down there?_ he thought. _You really are inexperienced...and inept._

“Steven?” Thor asked, and Steve noted the use of his full name. “There is nothing to be ashamed of.” 

“I know,” Steve said. “I just feel like there’s so much I missed...”

“Yes,” Thor said. “It is understandable why you might feel that way.” 

Steve blinked - he knew Thor could sometimes come across as blunt, but he had never experienced it during such a personal conversation. _It isn’t really Thor,_ he told himself. _It’s the Allspeak._

“I apologize, was that-”

“It’s me, not you,” Steve said. “I thought I was doing OK, but I think I’ve had too much time to just lay around and think.” 

“There is much to consider,” Thor said. “I am experiencing difficulty with my own...loss, and I cannot imagine having it many times over.” He squeezed Steve’s hand, and Steve nodded. 

“I miss them,” he said, and his voice was soft. “It most be nice, being immortal. And having all your friends be immortal.” 

“In that respect, yes,” Thor said. “But there are deep wounds that can be inflicted over hundreds of years, as well.” Steve nodded at this. They were dancing around something that he didn’t want to have to think about - if his spine could regenerate from an injury that should have killed someone else, what did it mean for his lifespan? What did the ice mean for it? Steve had initially thought it would have shortened things, but after the first joke on cryogenic freezing...

“I guess so,” Steve so.

“We should go out into the fresh air,” Thor said. “Perhaps you would like to walk in the city?” 

“Sure,” Steve said. The fact that Frigga’s diagnosis had been confirmed was making him feel less self conscious - so was the fact that he might not need to be diapered in another two or so days. “I’d like that.”

He wore a New York Rangers baseball cap to provide him some identity coverage - Steve just couldn’t stomach the Yankees, he found football to be just a little too bombastic in its coverage, and Clint had got him started on hockey. When he put it on his head, he remembered they were supposed to go to a game in two weeks - he should have been more aware of it, really, and he felt bad. “JARVIS, um, is Clint nearby?” 

“In the kitchen, Captain,” Thor replied.

Steve inhaled, and rolled himself into the kitchen. Thor had gone to shower and get ready, so he had a little time. He found Clint making grilled cheese. “Smells good,” Steve said.

“Oh,” Clint replied, and he startled. Then he said, “Hey. You, uh, want one?”

“Thor and I are going for a walk, actually,” Steve said, and he gave Clint a smile. Clint nodded. “I was thinking, actually, about the hockey game-”

“Yeah, noticed the hat,” Clint said. 

“Maybe, could you get Thor a ticket? If it’s not too late. I think he’d like it.” Steve would have felt awkward asking the question if it had just been he and Clint, but Agent Coulson was coming along. Steve had been surprised to find out that he had played college hockey when he was at West Point. 

“Yeah,” Clint said. “We usually get a block of them, I’m sure I can intimidate someone out of it-”

“Oh, you don’t need to-”

“Joking,” Clint said. “Hey, Thor. You two going on a date?”

“A date?” Thor asked, furrowing his brow. “I do not believe so - does that not require a romantic meal of some sort? We could, if you wished-”

“We’ll see,” Steve said, careful. He didn’t want to act like he was ashamed on what was going on between them - but it was hard to just admit, _oh, by the way, Thor and I have been making out. Even though my stuff doesn’t work. Down there._ It was just strange to be living amongst people, and acting like you were trying to sneak around them. 

“Delightful,” Thor said. “Have a nice afternoon, Clint.”

Clint nodded, and flipped his sandwich. Steve felt bad - the one end was a bit burnt. 

“You don’t need a romantic meal for a date,” Steve said, once they were in the elevator. “So I guess this is. If you think you need to go out...just watching movies together, some people think-” He stopped when Thor rubbed his shoulders, and he sighed at Thor’s touch. Thor was so strong, and yet he could manipulate his fingers in a way that was so soft and wonderful, and Steve thought about how those fingers would feel on other parts of him - his chest, his thighs, his ass, his cock... 

The elevator came to an abrupt stop, and Steve glanced up, not sure what was going on. “Thor?”

“I have stopped the elevator,” Thor said, and he leaned down so that he could speak into Steve’s ear. “It appears that one of your earlier concerns may be allayed.”

Steve glanced down at his groin where there was a very noticeable erection - his first since the accident, and, according to the doctors, this was a very good development. Something to do with the difference between a response based on thoughts and one based on touch, the automatic response to stimuli- “Goodness,” he said. 

“We could divert, if you would like,” Thor said. 

“Um, I would? I think?” Steve said. “I still don’t really...” he grazed his hand over his cock and frowned. “I’d prefer-”

“Of course,” Thor said, and Steve noticed that the discussion was enough for things to die down. He pulled the hat off of Steve’s head, gently, and kissed his forehead.

“I like that,” Steve said, as Thor settled the hat back down. It didn’t feel patronizing, at all. 

It was after lunch hour, so the streets were relatively empty. “This was a very dense area of the city before the battle, was it not?” Thor asked.

“Yeah,” Steve said. “Maybe we head up towards Central Park? It’s nice and green.”

“That would be nice,” Thor said. “Since coming to this city I have wondered how the people survive amongst the concrete and soaring towers. Was it like this when you were younger?”

Steve smiled - he liked how Thor had managed to phrase, even given the All Speak. Everyone else either dodged around it too much, and it made him feel awkward even talking about it. “Yes and no,” he said. “Things weren’t as high all over, but we had the Empire State Building...here, you can sort of see it from here,” he said, and he pivoted in his chair and pointed. Thor nodded. “And the Chrysler Building, which, uh, you were on when you did the lightening thing...” Steve hoped he had handled it as well as Thor had.

Thor nodded. “Aye, it is a comely building.” 

They didn’t say much else as they walked and...well, rolled, towards Central Park, but once they got there Thor began to open up again. 

“I enjoy this space,” he said. They stopped at the entrance to the park near the fountain. 

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Steve said. “Bucky and I used to come here a lot, when it was hot...” He shrugged his shoulders and sighed.

He used to always notice when people entered his peripheral vision, but he most have been thrown off by the change in his height - and, possibly, the fact that he was thinking about himself and Thor. 

So he almost rolled back onto Thor’s feet when a woman leaned in, quite close to him. “Excuse me,” she said, and Steve inhaled, convinced that she had recognized him. There was a camera around her neck and she was wearing the sort of sneakers Steve had learned no native New York would, so she seemed to be a tourist. “Were you hurt in the war?” 

“Uh...no?” Steve said, and it took him a moment to realize that she hadn’t recognized him and thought he had come back from Iraq or Afghanistan. “I mean, no, I-”

“You looked like a soldier,” she said, and her tone was almost accusing. 

“I do not understand why you feel it is proper to make this inquiries,” Thor said. The woman looked up at him, eyes narrowing in the sun. 

“I like to support our troops,” she said. “Tell them I’m grateful for their service-”

“That’s very kind, ma’am,” Steve said. “I appreciate that, but, I wasn’t...” he gave her a smile, and she narrowed her eyes at Thor before heading back over to her husband. He seemed to be a little embarrassed - so, apparently, Thor was right, and this wasn’t something that people normally did. 

On the one hand, there were plenty of people, back during WWII, who would tell you how much they appreciated your being a soldier. And he liked that, even though the war and the soldiers weren’t as obvious, that people still wanted to thank you. But why would anyone assume that someone in a wheelchair was wounded in the war? Weren’t people hurt other ways?

“You know, we’re kind of close to the zoo...” 

“Zoo?” Thor asked.

“There are a lot of animals there,” Steve said. “To look at.”

“A menagerie,” Thor said, and he sounded pleased. “Then this is a date.” Steve imagined Thor, on Asgard, asking some princess or some other sort to go and check out his menagerie. For some reason, it made him want to laugh. _You really need to get laid, Rogers,_ he thought. 

“Yeah,” Steve said. “I guess so.” 

“You and Clint are not experiencing difficulty?” Thor asked, after they shifted direction towards the zoo. “I could not help but notice some tension between you.”

“Oh,” Steve said. “He feels guilty - I mean, I get _that_ \- but...I don’t know what to say to him. Just like people didn’t know what to say to me.” 

“Or myself,” Thor said. “I do not know what to say to myself. When this woman asked about a war, to what was she referencing?” 

Steve was relieved to be able to talk to Thor about something he knew about - he’d been comfortable, reading about war, when he had first started research on the era he was now stuck in. He wasn’t as comfortable explaining the myriad factors that had led up to it, as evidenced by Thor’s question.

“These people resent your country? Yet they were keen to purchase weaponry from Tony?” 

“Well...” Steve said, and did his best to field that one. “Excuse me - is there a map for the zoo?” 

“Yes,” said the woman, after they paid for their tickets. “We have an accessibility map as well.”

“I’m sorry?” Steve said, and the woman glanced down and frowned slightly.

“For your chair?” she said. She spoke slowly - Steve wondered if she thought he was deaf, as well. 

“Oh,” Steve said. “Yes, of course, thank you.” 

“These stairs and steep inclines should prove no obstacle,” Thor said. “Which creature are you most interested in seeing?” 

“The rain forest,” Steve said, and he carefully folded his map in his lap. “Oh, God,” he exhaled, as soon as they were away from the booth. “I - I almost forgot, and then...” 

“Just because you are becoming acclimated...” Thor said, voice soft. Steve nodded, but he was still a little disturbed by how easily he had adapted to things - even with the woman pointing out his injuries, just a few minutes before. Still. Everyone kept telling him a positive attitude was critical for his healing.

They wound up spending most of their time outside of the penguin exhibit. “I could watch these creatures for many more hours,” Thor said. “I additionally enjoy any type of this iced cream.”

“I know, right?” Steve said. Thor was seated on a bench alongside of him, and so he was able to dip into his ice cream and feed some of it to Steve. He accepted it, opening his mouth slightly, but he wasn’t used to doing such things publicly. Still - most people tended to not mind, so...

“How many boxes does that tick? Gay and disabled?” It had taken a few weeks after his hearing had been augmented for Steve to be able to apply the correct level of filters to things again and keep most background noise as a low buzz - this statement must have stood out because it hit on some key words.

“Joel! I think it’s noble, staying with someone-”

“You hear their conversation as well?” Thor asked. “It is unacceptable to punch people in their faces who have not engaged you in combat?”

“Yeah,” Steve replied, scrunching his face. 

“Yet you frequently punched this Hitler?” Thor asked. 

“It was for a show,” Steve said. “I didn’t really punch him, either, just sort of pretend punched him - which was good, Eugene, the guy who played Hitler? Was actually a really nice guy? All the dames really liked him, too. Guess because he had that Hitler mustache he was non-threatening.” Steve shrugged his shoulders. Thor just nodded. “It’s funny, too, because everyone goes on about how I was traveling around with all those dames - girls? no, women - and I didn’t do anything about it, and they always forget we had a Hitler.” He nodded. 

Thor glanced up at the sky. “We should get back for your physio-therapy,” he said.

“We should,” Steve said. “It doesn’t mean that I want to...I had a nice afternoon.”

“Good,” Thor said, and pat him on the back. “That was my intent.”


	7. Chapter 7

“So,” said Helena, after Steve rolled out of the bathroom after using the handicapped toilet, “you won’t be needing my assistance too much anymore.” 

“Well,” Steve said, because what do you even say to that? “I certainly appreciated it.” 

“It was my job,” she replied, with a slight smile. “It was really nice to meet you.” 

“Oh, wait, you’re actually going?” Steve said. He had just thought she was making some kind of joke about an uncomfortable situation. 

“There’s not much you need, uh, real nursing for,” she said. “No wounds, no medication, no...” 

Steve wheeled closer to her and held out his hand. “It was a real pleasure, ma’am,” he said. She blushed, slightly. He never understood why he had that effect on women. “I really did appreciate it.” 

“It’s good to know,” she said. “Normally people aren’t nearly as nice and cooperative and kind and...well.” She nodded her head. 

“I’m sure I’ll be seeing you around, anyway,” Steve said, raising his eyebrows.

Helena pursed her lips to the side, like she was chewing the inside of her cheek. “Well,” she said. “We’ll see.” Steve nodded at that and let her walk out of the room, and then he watched the clock and gave her adequate time to get into the elevator before he rolled out of his room.

The wheelchair wasn’t all bad. He could get places a lot faster, and he was more stealth. He had been working with Natasha, before this had all happened, to work on his footfalls - he still really didn’t understand how to best move his added weight. 

“Clint?” he said. Clint was generally located in the kitchen - turned out, he enjoyed cooking, though Steve classified most of it was experimental. Still, he understood the impetus behind it and how you had to learn how to just put things together. He didn’t know a lot about how Clint grew up, but he knew enough, a lot of it from conjecture.

“Oh, hey, Captain,” Clint said, glancing only quickly in Steve’s direction. 

“Not that it’s any of my business,” Steve began - well, it sort of was, “but...did you break up with Helena the Nurse?” 

“Well...” Clint said, glancing down at his omelette. “Well.” 

“Was being with her some sort of way to...I don’t know, there’s probably some term for it, now...”

“You have a therapist, right?” Clint asked, flipping his omelette. “Ask them.” 

“I could...” Steve said, and he put his hands on his wheels.

“No, I mean, I didn’t want that to be sarcastic,” Clint said. He clearly had. “You do have a therapist, right? We all do, except Stark. But I think he’s recruited Banner.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, and furrowed his brow. “They haven’t been by, though, which is...” 

“Presumably someone’s keeping them out,” Clint said. “Probably figure you have enough therapists. Anyway, you can ask them. I’m sure they’ll be happy to talk about what’s wrong with me.” There was a slight smile on his face as he flipped his omelette onto his plate. “You want some omelette?” 

“No, I’m fine, I just wondered-” 

“You’re concerned about my ladying habits?” Clint asked, getting some ketchup from the table. 

“Well, she’s been in the same places with both of us, so.” Steve waited until Clint met his eyes, and then he smirked at Steve.

“Fair enough,” said Clint. “Yes, I guess I did. Whatever.” 

“OK,” Steve said. “But you know that you don’t need...”

“It might not have been you, or Thor, or Hulk, though,” Clint said. “What if next time it’s Natasha? Or Tony? Or...” he shook his head, and Steve knew exactly who wasn’t on the list. 

“I know,” Steve said.

“But, then, I’ve been doing this...first in the Army, then at SHIELD. I should get used to it, right?” Clint asked. He speared a fork into his omelette.

“No,” Steve said. “That would not be good, actually. When you get used to it, that’s when...” He pressed his own lips together. 

“That is an insight,” Clint said. He stabbed another piece of omelette. “These mushrooms might not have been the best choice.” Steve shrugged his shoulders. “You got any more?” 

“Well, because you felt like you fucked something up, you decided to fuck someone? Up?” Steve wasn’t sure if the last bit work, but the way that Clint almost spit out his omelette bit made him thin that it did. 

“I didn’t know you knew that word,” Clint said.

“It’s been around for awhile now,” Steve said. He knew it was a little risky bringing it up, because it would open him up to questions about just how much experience he had with-

“Besides,” Clint said, chewing his omelette piece thoughtfully, “I’m not the only one who thought about dealing with things that way, right?” He arched an eyebrow.

“Well, I think-” Steve began, and looked down at his hands. “It’s not exactly the same coping mechanism-”

“Especially since you’ve been flirting with each other for a good month,” Clint said. “Hey! I can be perceptive too.” 

“Right,” Steve said. “I didn’t even know...”

“Well, no,” Clint said. “Don’t get red about that. First time a guy wanted to fuck me, I had no clue.” Steve glanced to the side, not quite sure what to take from that - he was pretty sure what Clint was getting at, but, sometimes...

“And you...did?” 

“Yes,” Clint said, though he didn’t meet Steve’s eye. “But I told myself it was just because I was deployed, you know, Somalia - not awesome. Took awhile to realize it didn’t mean I was gay, just...not picky, that way. By the time I got there, I got kicked out of the Army for it.” 

“Really?” Steve asked. He’d been surprised when he had learned about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell - he would have thought that sort of thing would be resolved by 2013. By _the Future!_ They still hadn’t managed how to figure out how to make cars fly, though, so maybe it was fair enough. 

“Well, not officially,” Clint said. “Good thing SHIELD didn’t care. Just out of curiosity, are you gonna tell me I need to apologize to your nurse?”

“Today was her last day,” Steve said, “So, it doesn’t matter to me - you knew that.” 

“It’s a little too soon, for something serious,” Clint said. “So I said, not you, it’s me, and she wrinkled her nose. I thought we were on the same page, but...how do you tell a woman you can’t quite commit because you’ve recently been brainwashed?” 

Steve met Clint’s eyes and then scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah,” he said. 

“It really limits your dating pool,” Clint said. “You want the rest of it? I’m not hungry.” 

“OK, sure,” Steve said, and he accepted the omelette when Clint pushed it towards him and ate it while Clint dug some yogurt out of the fridge.

* * 

Steve had always thought that he’d experienced real pain - there were plenty of instances, from before the serum, and a few even after, mostly involving him getting shot. He didn’t realize, though, that there were other dimensions to pain that he had never really explored. He had been experiencing painful, sharp jabs from his lower back for several days now and he hadn’t thought there was the possibility of worse until he started to do exercises that were designed to stimulate the parts of him that were healing.

He inhaled and exhaled as Dr. Thornton, the physical therapist, held him in position while he moved around with a lightly weighted ball. “Captain, if you want to-” 

“No, I’m fine,” Steve said. 

“This isn’t going to work if you do more damage,” Dr. Thornton said. Steve met his eyes, sighed, and twisted back into a normal position.

“Damnit,” he said, riding the wave of pain as it moved down his spine and into his trunk, radiating and pouring into every crevice, every artery and vein.

“Not that hard work isn’t going to get results,” Dr. Thornton said. “But-” 

“I’m used to pushing through,” Steve said. His breath caught as the second part of the pain developed, the prickling, legs just coming back from being asleep feeling that was itchy and uncomfortable. 

“Right, but keep in mind how important this is,” Dr. Thornton said.

“Like other things weren’t?” Steve asked, and he felt angry and knew he shouldn’t take it out on the physical therapist - but still, had he read his file? 

“I might have phrased that wrong,” Dr. Thornton said. He was a little bit too young to be a doctor, Steve decided, either that or he was just aging really well. Either way, it gave him an aura of smugness that Steve had early on learned to recognize and be wary of, because it generally meant a bully - unless it was Bucky. Steve pressed his eyes shut. If they had been born now, under normal circumstances, he could imagine that Bucky might become a physical therapist. It would be a way to help people and stay physically active, he’d get to be a doctor but they would let him wear a polo shirt- “Captain?”

“Just thinking,” Steve said, opening his eyes. Dr. Thornton appeared to see through his ruse, though, and it just made Steve more irritated. “Let’s go again.” Dr. Thornton nodded, and handed the weighted ball back to Steve.

“Let’s try and isolate the movements more, going slower, thinking about each muscle...”

* *

Steve sat on the large bench in the shower and glanced over at the knob, a little skeptical that this was going to work out. He would have felt more comfortable if there was someone as back up, but he had wanted the first time that Thor saw him nude to be a little more special than in the context of helping him bathe. _Worse comes to worse,_ he thought, _Tony’s suits are probably water proof._

He turned the water on and instantly felt a lot of the tension leave his body. He had not had a shower since the accident. Sponge baths were not...they were not ideal, in the least, and were things that he would prefer to not have to remember. 

This, though, was very good. The first time Steve had a shower in his room in Stark tower he had stayed in the stall for almost half an hour, despite feeling incredibly wasteful about it. It was, apparently, a rain forest shower - though now several of the heads had been turned off when the bars that would allow Steve to shower for himself had been installed. 

Steve washed his hair and worked his fingers through his scalp, and then took a wash cloth and began to scrub at himself. He closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of the soap, let the steam wrap around him, and thought about the last time someone had touched him with such care and attention - and that would have been Thor, two days ago in the elevator, massaging his shoulder. Or, also Thor, last evening, as they sat and watched a movie and Thor had methodically worked his fingers through his hair as Steve had reclined into Thor. And how good had that felt, to be able to curl into another person and feel comfortable? 

Not that this hadn’t happened before, two days ago when they had gone to the zoo, but his growing erection was still met with relief - because it meant that the other occasion wasn’t a fluke, and then more relief when he realized that he was going to actually be able to take care of it.

For Steve, it felt like forever since he had touched himself - and when he placed his hand over his cock there was a different type of electricity that shot through him. His breath hitched as he moved his hand over himself, and he drew his thumb along the head. He actually hadn’t masturbated much, when he had been sick - nothing had particularly inspired him, and his circulation most have been poor enough that it kept him from having to do it out of necessity. It wasn’t until after that he’d found himself having to take care of things, and he had been so clumsy when he first tried to figure out what to do with himself.

So, in a way, he thought, it couldn’t be that hard with Thor - he knew what felt good, at least with his hand. There were other things, too, and he thought about how that might work. Thor would put his mouth on him, and he would put his mouth on Thor. He’d never experienced that, before, he just imagined it to be more intense than what he was doing - and he had no frame of reference for beyond that. 

If he were more mobile, he supposed...but he brushed that out of his thoughts. That could be for later. 

He wanted to go slow and enjoy this, the first orgasm he was going to have in some time, but he should have known better. His hand began to increase, almost unconsciously, and by the time he realized what he was doing it was almost too late. He felt the familiar sensation pool low in his stomach, and while it wasn’t as intense as it had been before, it was still there. “Oh, God,” Steve said.

He cleaned himself up and then reluctantly moved himself out of the shower. Now that he was used to the rails, it was easier to move himself around and onto the bench that was outside the shower to dry himself off, to put his clothing on, and then back into the chair. “Mr. Thor was asking about you, sir,” JARVIS said, once Steve rolled out of his room.

“Thanks,” Steve said. He’d tried to explain to JARVIS that Thor would, technically, be Mr. Odinson - but then he remembered that, even if JARVIS was artificial intelligence, he had been programmed by Tony. “You can let him know I’m available...”

Steve combed his hair with his fingers and frowned at himself in the mirror. Sometimes he would catch a glimpse of himself and he’d still be surprised, still expect to see a completely different visage looking back at him. Plus, with Thor being...Thor, he felt like maybe he should do more. He didn’t know what being Prince of Asgard would translate to, on Earth, but Steve was pretty sure that some kind from Brooklyn, war hero and super hero or not, wasn’t exactly the ideal match.

“May Mr. Thor enter?” JARVIS asked, and Steve answered in the affirmative. 

“Steve, your shower was successful?” Thor asked, and Steve nodded. “Tony has ordered food in for everyone.” 

“Oh, that’s...” Steve said. “That’s good.” He missed a lot of these things, in and out of all of his doctor appointments and meetings. He felt that there was a rhythm and flow being established amongst the rest of the Avengers and he was an outlier. He would have been without the accident, but this just demarcated him even more. 

Thor knelt in front of him, and Steve was conscious of the difference that existed between the two of them in terms of height - with, and without the wheelchair. Thor had to crouch slightly, and he cocked his head to the side. “You are troubled?”

“I just...I don’t know,” Steve said. “Everything seems to be happening without me.” 

“Yes,” Thor said. “Though perhaps not this.” He leaned in and kissed Steve, this kiss a little bit more forceful, and with a little bit more yearning than previous kisses. It was almost as if Thor knew Steve had been thinking of him, and in what context.

“No,” Steve said. “Though that’s good.” 

He wheeled out alongside Thor to the main living area, where Pepper was setting out plates and silverware as Bruce opened up takeout containers. Steve was interested to see the two of them working together, given the tensions he’d previously observed - maybe they’d realized they were fighting for the same team? 

“Smells wonderful,” Steve said. 

“Bruce wanted Indian,” Tony said. “It’s all vegetarian, though, sorry, Thor.”

“I have nothing against vegetables,” Thor replied, furrowing his brow. Natasha responded to this with a slight smile, then took a plate from the table. “Thank you for arranging this feast.”

“Well, we haven’t feasted together since your mother came,” Tony said. “So, I figured, overdue, right, team? Bonding is important!” He looked over at Coulson, who rolled his eyes. 

“This is the same food you cook?” Steve asked Bruce, and he went and took his own plate and then realized that it was probably not going work out that well.

“Yes,” Bruce said, “but, uh, probably more spicy.”

“You didn’t like spices, and you decided to live in India?” Clint asked, and Steve was surprised when he handed Steve a plate with a little bit of everything on it. He gave him a soft smile, and Steve gave him a slight nod. 

“Well,” Bruce said. “Brazil was, uh, out, and Russia was a little too cold-” He glanced over at Natasha.

“I am not going to dispute that,” Natasha said, following behind Steve as he wheeled himself over to the table.

“You have everything you need?” Thor asked Steve, voice quiet, and Steve nodded as Thor sat down next to him. 

“And China, you know, surveillance state...” Bruce shrugged.

“So you were literally just considering BRIC countries when you looked at where to move to?” Tony asked. “That’s an interesting strategy.”

“That’s Stark Inc’s strategy,” Pepper said, sitting next to him while Bruce sat at Tony’s other side. Steve bit into a little triangle shaped pastry and chewed.

“This is good,” he said, not really understanding what they were talking about, but figuring he had a close enough understanding.

“Yeah,” Tony said. “It is, isn’t it?”


	8. Chapter 8

“I believe I will need to assist you, Steve,” Thor said.

Steve nodded. He had been getting a lot more proficient, over the last few days, especially as feeling was returning - mostly just in his lower abdomen, his buttocks, and his general core, but he wasn’t going to analyze it too much so long as there were discernible improvements each day.

Steve had been a bit shy about asking Thor to assist him with the therapists latest plan, but there was no way Dr. Thornton was going to be able to get him into the lap pool at the Tower. Steve would probably be able to do it in the most undignified way possible, so Thor was preferential. He still wanted to get away from relying on him to hoist him and move him around - not just because he needed to be more self reliant, but because he didn’t want Thor to see him as broken. 

“I thought as much,” Steve said. He had never seen the pool before, so he had hoped.

Thor lifted him gently, carrying him bridal style. It made Steve immediately feel nauseous, and a little bit dizzy, in the way that it recalled how Thor had extracted him from the wreckage just a week and a a half ago. Thor seemed to sense this, perhaps feeling the tension in his muscles, and he leaned down and kissed Steve’s forehead and then slowly took him into the pool via the steps in the shallow end. 

When he let Steve go, Steve was surprised to feel in control of his body. He swirled his arms the way they had taught him in the Army, and even though his legs were still largely unresponsive his upper body strength was more than sufficient to keep him above water.

“You find this meets your therapeutic objectives?” Thor asked. Steve cocked his head, not sure what rang odd about the statement initially. _Objectives,_ he realized. _Is the All Speak...adapting?_ He sort of hoped so. The results could be even more hilarious than they currently were - and more understandable.

“Yes,” Steve said. “It’s supposed to eliminate resistance, to free up movement...” He flipped himself onto his back and sculled backwards, and then around Thor, holding his abdominals rigid to keep his legs from dragging.

As he moved around Thor’s other side, Thor touched him gently and Steve righted himself. “Perhaps we might focus on your therapy in a few moments,” Thor said, head tilting to the side. Steve moved himself in closer to Thor and nodded. With both of them in the deeper water, the difference between the two of them had been leveled - just like it was when they lay in bed or on a couch, but with the bonus that Steve felt like he had more control.

Thor took his legs and manipulated them so that they were wrapped around Thor’s waist, and Steve pressed himself into Thor further. Thor’s hands clasped his back and held him tight, and Steve sighed. “I didn’t think I’d ever like feeling like this,” he said, and when he realized Thor thought he meant paralyzed, he added, “small.”

“Ah,” Thor said. “I take this to mean you feel comfortable in my arms.”

“I think so,” Steve said, and he pulled himself upwards slightly so that he was able to kiss Thor. Steve pressed hard, opening his mouth against Thor’s - but only slightly, a little more each time, wanting to savor the feel of every moment of the kiss. Then Steve added his tongue, working further into Thor’s mouth and pulling himself up a little bit further to get better leverage.

“Yes, I should think so,” Thor said, as Steve pulled away. Thor’s lips were plump from the kiss, and Steve smiled. “If you wish to engage in your therapy, I suggest you do so before I am unable to assist you.” 

“Agreed,” Steve said. 

He followed the program recommended by the physical therapist - sculling, keeping himself aloft by treading water, doing just freestyle stroke with a puff clasped between his legs to keep them floating. Thor swam alongside him, mostly on his side, talking with Steve about Thor had learned to swim relatively late in life. “The only thing I feared,” he said, “was water. I was brave in the face of physical challenges and frightening beasts, yet there was something about the depths that one could not see...I much prefer this pool.”

Steve nodded, thinking of Arctic Ocean looming beneath him. He swam over to Thor when he was done, and as Thor pivoted towards his chair, he looked up at him. 

“The lounge, over there?” he said, nodding his head towards the massive chaises lounges surrounding the pool.

“For what purpose?” Thor asked, and Steve felt himself blush slightly - involuntarily, really, after all, he had been the one to make the suggestion. 

“I can think of a few,” Steve said. Thor set him down gently and allowed Steve to situate himself before he climbed on next to him. Steve pulled himself up next to Thor as he lay on his side, and Steve kissed him eagerly this time. He had drawn it out before, and he had thought about that kiss as he completed his laps.

It appeared from Thor’s response that he had, as well, and Steve pressed against him. He moaned when he felt Thor’s hard cock against his upper thigh - and then realized the implications of that, and had to smile. 

Then Thor kissed along his jaw and down his neck, and he sucked with his lips right where Steve’s neck met his collar bone. Steve bucked into Thor, getting a light growling sound from Thor, who reached a hand around and cupped his hand on Steve’s ass. “I have oft appreciated your form,” Thor murmured, as he kissed back up towards Steve’s lips. “I have longed to feel it.” 

“Yes,” Steve said, and he sighed as Thor slid his swimming trunks off, careful to get them all of the way off of Steve’s legs. He guided Steve onto his back and peered down at him.

“Truly gorgeous,” Thor said, and quickly shimmied out of his own trunks. Steve took him in for a long moment - there was so much delineation and muscle to Thor’s body, and he sighed at the sight of his cock. “You are appreciative?” Thor asked. Not that Steve hadn’t seen naked men before - just not in this context. 

“Very,” Steve said, and Thor settled down alongside of him. He cupped Steve’s ass again and then kneaded his fingers into it before moving a hand forward to stroke along Steve’s hip bone. Steve sighed. 

“You would be content for me to take charge?” Thor asked.

Steve swallowed. “I - yeah, of course,” he said, not really understanding what Thor was getting at. He had just figured he would follow along. Thor nodded, smiled, and kissed Steve.

As they kissed he grasped Steve and gently worked his cock. He took a thumb and smeared some of the fluid on Steve’s from the tip along his length, and Steve reached and took Thor in his hand as well. This - he could definitely do this, had thought about this, and he was pleased that it exceeded his own fantasies. Why the fact that it was another person’s hand made so much difference he didn’t know...or maybe it was the way Thor was kissing him, more aggressive than his hand was on Steve.

“Thor - I don’t think-” Steve gasped, then kissed at Thor’s neck.

Thor increased the pace of his hand. “Nor I, Steve,” he said. Steve kept pace with Thor, used his thumb like Steve liked himself over Thor’s head. “God, Steve!” Thor said, and Steve repeated the motion. Thor did something similar, and Steve closed his eyes as his orgasm built and then released - the build was faster than he might have liked. Still, for their first time...

He laid his head against Thor’s chest, each of them with their hands still on softening cocks. Steve sighed. “I really-”

“That was delightful,” Thor murmured, and kissed Steve’s cheek. They laid together for another minute or so before Thor sighed. “We should cleanse ourselves.” 

“Yes,” Steve agreed. “I’ll have to go back to my room.”  
 “Aye,” Thor said. “Though if you would like, I would be most happy to assist you.” Steve nodded, eyes slightly wide.

“I would like that,” he said. “Very much.”

* * *

Steve almost forgot about the hockey game that evening, given the developments of the day. His toes had yielded sensation to forceful touch, and Steve’s neuropathic pain was beginning to diminish and was replaced by a more annoying pins and needles like sensation. All good developments, the three doctors insisted. “Hopefully we will have you walking next week, Captain,” Dr. Thornton said. Steve had nodded and done his best not to express too much outward emotion - for some reason, he felt like he might still be able to curse himself, or jinx things. 

Thor knocked on his door, and Steve smiled when he saw Thor was wearing a jersey for the New York team. “Where did you get that?” he asked.

“The Son of Coul provided it,” Thor replied. “I asked him what appropriate attire would be for this sporting event.” Steve nodded and glanced down at the hooded sweater and jeans he was wearing, feeling somehow underdressed.

“Let me get my hat, at least,” he said, and rolled over to his bed. 

When they emerged in the common are, Clint smiled. “Excellent,” he said. Keeping with his own style, he was wearing an older looking Rangers t-shirt, jeans, a beat-up leather jacket and the combat boots that seemed to be permanently affixed to his feet. Coulson was in pressed khakis, a button down, and a navy and red tie.

“Team colors, sir?” Steve asked. 

“In a way,” Agent Coulson said. 

Steve felt self-conscious for the first time when they got to the garage and there was a specialized handicapped vehicle waiting for them. “Oh,” he said. 

“Just tell me what I need to do, driver,” Thor said. The driver looked taken aback, for a moment, but Coulson must have given him some kind of look because he instructed Thor to pick Steve out of the chair and then carry him into the seat.

Coulson explained the game to Steve and Thor on their way to Madison Square Garden.   
As they approached, he coughed. “We’ll have to use a special entrance, Captain,” Coulson said.

“Oh,” Steve said. “Yes. Of course...” He wheeled himself through, but he was conscious of the eyes upon him. There seemed to be a wide variety of reactions amongst the other spectators - it would have been interesting to observe, if he wasn’t coming from the perspective of the chair. There was pity, of course, curiosity, a few looks that were just sad and more than a few fans who seemed peeved that their group got to cut the line so Steve could go through the handicapped barricade.

When they exited the elevator into a long hallway with doors on one side, Steve glanced at Clint and then Coulson. “I thought SHIELD had seats,” he said. 

“We do,” Coulson said. “But Director Fury called in a favor. You two are fairly distinctive, despite your efforts at...camouflage.” Steve had to smile at the delivery - he could see, then, why Clint and Natasha were so fond of him.

“Natasha has informed me that my visage has been presented in tomes orientated towards the ladies of this realm,” Thor said, as they moved down the hall to one of the doors. Steve noted the name, but it didn’t mean anything to him.

“Tomes?” Coulson asked.

“Probably tabloids?” Steve said. 

“You are pretty popular with the ladies,” Clint said. 

“Will they not be disappointed-” Thor said, glancing towards Steve. 

“You’d be surprised,” Clint interrupted. “There are plenty of women who enjoy two-”

“Barton,” said Coulson, more of a sigh. Steve grinned.

The suite was more elaborate than he thought it would be, even having seen them from television. Of course, they had only had these kinds of things back in the thirties for a few famous people and team executives. Now, you just needed enough money to get twelve private seats, tables and chairs on another level to eat at, and your own bathroom. 

“Order what you want off the menu,” Clint said. “It’s on SHIELD’s tab.”

“I don’t know if-” Steve began, appalled at some of the prices.

“As if they’re going to deny Captain America?” Clint said, and then, glancing at Thor as he leaned over Steve to see the food menu, “Or Thor.” 

“Crown Prince of Asgard, Viking God of Thunder and Fertility, and Wielder of the Great Hammer Mjolnir,” Thor added, and Steve almost bit his tongue to hide his laughter. He made a note to remind himself to thank Natasha for suggesting that they might both like _Game of Thrones._

Coulson grinned at this as Clint shook his head. “This isn’t a work thing, right, Couls-Phil? We can get beer, I hope?” Clint asked. 

“I was told there was much beer consumption as one watched this contest,” Thor said.

“Typically,” Coulson said. 

Steve actually enjoyed the game - it was a lot faster paced than baseball, but the basic rules weren’t too hard to get down, and he liked the combination of strength and skill that went into it. Thor’s verdict seemed to be similar - “I enjoy the combination of violence and skill that this game requires,” he said, then chugged a whole beer.

All of them ate more chicken wings than could really be recommended for their respective metabolisms and Clint and Coulson, at least, drank enough beer that conversation amongst all of the was less formal. Neither of them commented when, during the second period, Thor took Steve’s hand.

“What I am most curious about,” Thor asked as they left, “is who would volunteer for this goal keep position. The hard rubber discs-”

“Pucks,” Clint said.

“These pucks move at great speeds,” Thor said. “Right towards their heads and groins. No amount of padding could sufficiently stymy the full blow.”

“It’s generally a crazy person,” Clint said, and then grimaced slightly. It took Steve a moment to realize he felt like Thor might be offended on account of Loki, but Thor merely nodded. 

“Usually someone quite intense,” Coulson said. “You have to have a lot of focus - and be really driven, to have the desire to win and shoulder that responsibility.”

Thor nodded, considering this, and Steve knew that he would have connected the discussion to himself and his brother without any even admittedly minor prodding. “And you were one of the players to the front of the formation?”

“Yeah,” Coulson said. “The little guys always get put in front. Don’t have enough to throw around on defense-”

“You won the league scoring award, Coulson, don’t even,” Clint said. Coulson seemed surprised that Clint knew this, and Steve arched an eyebrow. “He keeps it in his office.” Steve didn’t allow his expression to move, sort of enjoying Clint’s discomfort - the result of friendly teasing instead of much more uncomfortable reactions. “You keep the trophy in your office.”

“You noticed?” Coulson asked. 

“I’m not asleep all that time,” Clint replied, and shook his head. Steve did, as well, even though he knew, and Coulson knew he knew, that Coulson was more than aware that Agent Barton wasn’t sleeping the entire time. Steve pressed his lips together, wondering, for the first time, if there might be something going on between the two of them. Or one of them wanted something to go on. 

“It is common for us to keep trophies from our victories in the past,” Thor said, pushing Steve along - and he didn’t mind, this time, he felt relaxed and just a little disarmed. “Such that they might inspire our heroics in the present.” 

“Yes,” Coulson replied, and there was a slight smile on his face that indicated he might not have conceived of things in that way.

While they waited for the driver to come around, a man approached Steve. He winced - the man was drunk, and had a sour expression on his face. Both Coulson and Clint gave him hard stares. “How’d it happen?” he asked. 

“Building collapse,” Steve replied, meeting his eyes, not wanting to see Clint’s reaction. The man nodded. 

“First responder?” he asked, and Steve nodded. _Pretty much,_ he thought. 

“My brother took a bullet,” he said, not specifying. “He won’t leave the house.” Steve felt bad, distinctly aware of the tingling in his legs, the sharp pain in his thighs as his nerves reconnected with his spine.

“People do stare,” he said. 

“They are always fascinated by that which is other,” Thor added. The man looked at Thor for the first time, and then at Steve. 

“Yeah,” he said.

“Our car is here,” Coulson said. Clint gave the man a smile - Steve had no doubt that if he had said something like the man in the zoo, Clint wouldn’t have suppressed the desire to punch him in the face. 

“Thanks,” said the man, though Steve wasn’t really sure what he had said or done that warranted that. He shrugged, and nodded - and then, because people were looking, he rolled onto the lift attached to their van and was slowly pulled up and into the wheelchair accessible seat. 

“Does that happen all the time?” Clint asked, sitting immediately behind Steve.

“It did when we visited your zoological park,” Thor said. “Though the commentary was, in many respects, more rude.” 

Clint shook his head, then glanced at Coulson. He had unbuttoned his shirt a little and loosened his tie. Steve could see the beginning of the scar that started at his collar bone and ran down to his stomach, still angry and hard looking. He glanced away.

“I had a really great time,” Steve said. “I’d like to go again, if you have-”

“We have season tickets, Cap, no worries,” Clint said, and he yawned slightly.

* * 

“If you would permit me,” Thor said, “I wish to sleep with you this evening.” 

Steve raised his eyebrows - not that he had ever asked, for them to take things slow, but he was sort of waiting until he was going to be more mobile, more response... _Stupid,_ he thought, seeing Thor’s expression, _he wants to sleep in your bed._

“Of course,” he said. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t-”

“Ah,” Thor said, with a smile. “Yes, of course. That will come in time. But now I seek to enjoy this bed with you, now it is possible.”

Steve nodded. Tony had got him a mattress that adjusted to different inclines when Dr. Bruehl suggested they could move Steve out of the hospital bed. “You can go lower, or higher,” he said to Thor, who seemed to take up the whole bed once he laid in it. 

“I would be at the same incline as yourself, Steve,” Thor said, and Steve nodded and used his arms to pivot into the bed. Before he could adjust himself, Thor wrapped an arm around his shoulder and drew him closer. 

There was a cool crackle to his skin. Steve settled into him and sighed, not used to the feeling of someone else holding him as he lay in bed. He reached forward and ran his fingers through Thor’s hair and smiled. “This is nice,” he said.

“Indeed,” Thor replied.


	9. Chapter 9

They started with parallel bars - plural, because Steve broke the first set with his hard, nervous grip - and then transitioned to a walker. Steve had been focused on getting to this point and was disappointed with how little progress it felt like he was making. He supposed that he thought that once he began to get control over his legs it would be an easy transition back to how things had been.

Steve’s legs were tingly, painful and uncooperative. His muscles had atrophied, as much as they could with the serum, at least, and he was surprised at the sense of balance and coordination he lost over the past two weeks. He was disappointed in himself, as well. 

It also made him think back to when he had just received the serum, after the adrenaline from chasing the HYDRA infiltrator had worn off - and even during that chase he was pretty sure he had careened into a shop window. He’d stumbled over his own feet numerous times, broke more things that he could think of because of his grip and hit his head just about every time he’d tried to turn around.

And that, of course, led him to Peggy - she had been so kind, then, despite the grief she was experiencing over the loss of Erksine. He remembered the way that she had gently touched his arm, how she had looked at him, the support she had provided when it was clear that SSR wasn’t going to take him with them. “You can really be something, Steve,” she said. “You always could, of course, you just have better tools now.” 

This was a lot different, of course, there wasn’t a sense of wonder here - just frustration. That had set in back in the 1940s, as well, but in a different way. It was frustration with other people, then, everyone who didn’t want to give him a chance. Now it was all his own problem. 

He had tried to be tolerant during his physical therapy so far. There was so much repetition without any discernible outcomes. He didn’t mean to take all his frustration out on Dr. Thornton. He was just tired of being like this. 

“Fuck!” Steve said, stumbling again and falling forward into the walker. Dr. Thornton had stopped grabbing to assist him after he’d sprained his wrist the first time he’d attempted to stabilize Steve. He had thrust the walker forward and Dr. Thornton hadn’t been prepared for the amount of force Steve could exert. 

“We have to keep repeating the same action so your muscles relearn them,” Dr. Thornton said, as Dr. Rivas and Dr. Bruehl looked on with some mild interest. Steve felt like they might laugh about this, later. “Good results don’t come without hard work.” 

That was a lot of the problem, he realized on the second day when they were working on walking. Dr. Thornton’s bedside manner, with the sort of empty platitudes and encouraging phrases, might have worked for a lot of patients - but they definitely weren’t working for Steve. He heard all of that before. It didn’t fit what was wrong with him now. 

“I understand the concept,” Steve said, and he shuffled his feet forward and regained his balance. “Fuck. And don’t tell me about a positive attitude.” He leveled his best _son, just don’t_ gaze at the doctor. 

“Understood,” Dr. Thornton said. “That said, maybe we should get you on the table for a few minutes and I work on your knees and thigh muscle.”

“Fine,” Steve said, and sighed. 

Dr. Thornton started with massage, which always felt just a little illicit to Steve - and he wasn’t sure if he wasn’t used to people touching him like this, or if Dr. Thornton was just on the feelsy side of things. Steve had got that feeling from one of the other SHIELD doctors right after he was unfrozen. It had to do, he thought, with the way he had been sold to the American people since World War II. How he was a legend, and, to some of them, pretty much the same thing as Indiana Jones or Luke Skywalker or whatever.

Steve winced when Dr. Thornton moved to exercising and rotating his knee. He could almost feel the joint move and crunch as it was manipulated. “You’re doing very well, Captain,” Dr. Thornton said.

“I’m not a child getting a vaccination,” Steve replied. He sighed. 

Dr. Thornton set his leg down and cocked his head. “You probably don’t want to hear something like this either, Captain - but everyone gets to this point in their rehabilitation. And the frustration isn’t just because you’re tired and you want it to be over with.” 

“OK,” Steve said. 

“You’re also still afraid,” Dr. Thornton said, and Steve narrowed his eyes. “And you’re afraid because there are still unknowns, even if things have been proceeding - but fear can be a great motivator-”

“Getting a pep talk from the good doctor?” Tony asked, and Steve pulled himself up on his elbows so he could smile at him.

“I think so,” Steve replied.

“Give me a moment, doc?” Tony said, and smiled at Dr. Thornton. He ducked out of the room. “So, how is his bedside manner?” 

“Have you been watching on video feed?” Steve asked, pulling himself up into a seated position. 

“Just want to make sure my star physical therapist is treating you right,” Tony replied. “Also, because I’ve been tinkering with something in the lab and have something you’re going to like better. If you want to try.”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “I would be OK with that.” 

“We consulted with Rivas - she’s seen her share of people rehabbing from spinal cord injuries-”

“You didn’t consult with your star physician?” Steve asked. 

“Turns out our Dr. Thornton failed to mention he consistently annoys the shit out of his patients.”

“I thought he was the best in the field-” Steve began.

“He’s really attached to his own methods,” Tony replied. “And he doesn’t really seem to understand he needs to adapt them, here. Also, I can see the glint of publication in his eye, despite the fact we made him sign ten pages of confidentiality agreements - well, Bruce spotted it, actually, he would know better. He’s more used to academics.”

“Publication?” Steve asked, and he kept from meeting Tony’s eyes as he pivoted, careful, and used the bars next to the physical therapy table to get down into the wheelchair. 

“Academics publish in academic journals, read only by other academics and occasionally incorrectly summarized by a journalist to instill some kind of panic in the American people,” Tony said, and smiled at Steve - as though he wasn’t capable of following this. _I’m in a wheelchair, not stupid,_ Steve thought. Then he remembered that the exchange would have been the same if he were walking, and he’d be thinking _I’m from the 1940s, not stupid_ instead. “Still, we’re going to have to keep him around on the off-change I end up being wrong.”

“What was that?” Steve asked.

“JARVIS, calculate for Captain Rogers the percentage of time I have been wrong-”

“You may want to define those parameters, sir, otherwise you may not be pleased with the outcome.” Steve grinned up at Tony. 

The door opened and they went into the lab. Bruce was looking at a pair of what appeared to Steve to be a pair of polio leg braces. “And you say I’m old fashioned,” Steve said.

“What? Oh, hey, they do look like-” Tony said, cocking his head.

“I told you,” Bruce replied, and he sighed.

“There’s another one against you,” Steve said. Tony pursed his lips outward, then gave Steve a slight smile.

“No, see, these will provide the support that you need while still giving you the resistance you need to rebuild muscle mass, and they’ll slowly adjust to accommodate your healing-”

“You made this in the two days since I’ve started getting annoyed with Dr. Thornton?” Steve asked. Tony glanced over at Bruce. “Oh,” Steve said. 

Bruce took his glasses off and wiped them in his shirt. “Given how far you’d progressed, but Frigga’s uncertainty, we just thought a contingency plan might be best. Sorry.” 

“No, it makes sense,” Steve said. “Well, I appreciate that. Can we strap these things on, then?” 

“Sure,” Tony replied. “Uh, going to need to get you to stand up, though.” 

“I’ll just need to lean on one of you,” Steve said, glancing between the two of them. Bruce nodded at Tony, then smiled at Steve. He was significantly shorter, and Steve leaned down slightly so that he was able to balance himself correctly. “Hello, Dr. Banner,” he said.

“Ha,” said Tony, taking one of the braces in hand as Steve stretched his leg out. “Sounds like you’re flirting.”

“Uh-” Steve began, but Bruce grimaced slightly. 

“Short, dark and handsome not your type?” Tony asked. 

“Sorry, Tony,” Steve replied. Tony raised his eye brows at Steve, and then bent down and began carefully latching the braces together around Steve’s legs. 

They had a cane ready, just in case, and Steve tottered forward for a moment before he was able to pick his leg up and put it down, almost as if he were walking like normal. “Balance seems OK?” Bruce asked. “You feel like you’re having to do it yourself, not that the brace is holding it for you?”

“Yeah, no, it’s good,” Steve said, taking another step. 

“Put one foot in front of the other,” Tony sang, “and soon you’ll be walking cross the floor!*” 

“That used to scare me so much as a kid,” Bruce replied, and Tony nodded his head slowly.

“Singing it might help you work through those feelings-” Tony said.

“You know, I can leave you two to it,” Steve said, and felt a little bit bad for it, given that he was the one who was-

“Sir, Agent Coulson is requesting that the Team assemble for pick-up on the roof,” JARVIS said. Steve glanced up towards the ceiling - he had dreaded this sort of thing happening while he was still rehabilitating. 

“Let me grab the suit, and I’m there,” Tony said, and then held an arm up as Steve walked - well, still tottered - after him. “Where do you think you’re going?” 

“With you,” Steve said. 

“With those?” Tony asked, picking up the suitcase that his latest set of armor was in. 

“I can still help,” Steve said. “There are tactical things I could-” Tony met his eyes and held them, and then he nodded. 

“Get in the chair,” Tony said. “We’ll get up faster that way.”

Steve nodded, aware that he probably looked like Franklin Delano Roosevelt. He pushed himself, careful to follow Tony and Bruce onto the roof. 

“Steve-” Natasha said, while Clint pursed his lips.

“I can still-”

Clint glanced over at Thor, who looked down at his feet. Steve nodded his head, not wanting Thor to have to go through with the discussion. “I just thought, tactically-”

“We can remote wire you in,” Natasha said. “Or JARVIS can, right?”

“Through the suit,” Tony said. “I can give my visual feed.” 

“OK,” Steve said, and he backed his wheelchair away as he saw the Quinjet approach. “Sure.” 

Steve settled into the living room where JARVIS was able to get Tony’s visual feed onto the massive television on the wall. He listened along to the brief from Coulson as the team flew out - a terrorist organization that had built themselves some very large mechanized pieces of armor that sort of looked like robots to Steve. They were using them to stage an attack on Los Angeles. 

“I wish people would come up with original ideas, you know?” Tony asked. “Instead of just getting inspired by ‘80s kids cartoons. No offense, He-Man.” Clint laughed at this, and Steve sighed - he figured it was directed towards Thor. 

It was more annoying remote, Steve thought, more distracting. He glanced down at his legs and sighed. “If the Captain is not here,” Thor said, voice soft, “then who shall be in charge of our positions throughout this ordeal?” 

Steve winced. He had been surprised when, in New York, Tony had him call the battle. That was when he knew that they would be all right. Bruce certainly wasn’t going to lobby for leadership, but amongst the rest of the Avengers, each likely regarded themselves as capable and might take it as a slight-

“Clint,” Natasha said, and Steve wished he could have seen Tony’s expression. 

“You want to take it, Hawkeye?” Tony asked. Clint would have been Steve’s choice as well, except that he was concerned with Clint still feeling guilty about Steve’s injury - putting him in that position because Steve was absent might not yield the best results. 

“I can,” Clint replied. Steve could hear Tony sigh, slightly. They had all underestimated him, at some point - Steve hadn’t realized until their second battle that Clint had been the one to make Loki as successful as he had been. Clint had quickly assembled and organized the large number of SHIELD agents who had turned up to respond to the attack and directed them to set up a remote command center. 

Steve leaned forward and watched as the team got out of the Quinjet and set themselves up. Clint took a position high on a roof near the center of downtown, and directed Tony to monitor the perimeter. Steve felt bad when he heard the roar of the Hulk - Bruce probably wouldn’t have needed to get involved, if Steve were available, and he knew how much it drained Bruce to have to go through the process. 

It went to shit, of course, but at first it appeared like the team might have things under control. 

But then Steve saw one of the robot tanks take a turn and head towards another one to create a blockage in the middle of the field. He could see how it would play out, how it would separate the team and make them vulnerable. No one else raised the point, though, so Steve alerted Clint. “You see that? You get through Tony-vision?”

“I prefer Stark-vision or Iron-vision,” Tony replied.

“How come you didn’t pick that move up, Stark?” Clint asked.

“Seriously, I am blasting shit, here-” Tony said, before there was a large bang and his feed was taken out. There had been another formation move, it seemed, outside of Stark Vision.

Steve made fists out of his hands and inhaled, then exhaled - if someone got hurt, because of him... 

Tony’s feed came back after thirty seconds, and by then, there were a lot of things on fire. There was also an incredibly pissed off Hulk. He was pulling apart one of the tanks and throwing the pieces at Thor.

Steve winced - Hulk still had not come around to Thor, even after three battles together. Thor was dealing with it, though, and was using Mjolnir to angle lightening towards the tanks as the pieces bounced off of him. “How is Iron Man?” Steve asked.

“Fuck!” Tony replied, but he at least replied. “Back in action, Cap, you were right about that-”

“Might need some more SHIELD training, Stark,” Clint said, and then Steve heard the distinct sound of a missile heading towards him through Clint’s comm feed.

“Clint!” Steve shouted, and then saw through as Clint jumped from the building and used one of his repelling arrows to anchor himself to the building, narrowly missing the rocket headed in his direction. He didn’t make it to the one next to him. 

“Who gave them rocket launchers?” Natasha asked.

“Dangling!” Clint said. “Little help here! And thanks, Cap.” 

“Someone needs to grab-”

“Got it!” Tony shouted. Tony managed to grab him and install him on the next rooftop, and things went further downhill as the terrorist fighters were able to separate the Avengers, piss the Hulk off to the extent he was just smashing anything, and even Natasha appeared to be getting flustered. But after what felt like eternity Clint discovered a way to angle Thor’s lightening and strike at what he suspected was the tank in control, and from there it was only another five minutes before things were under control.

Still, when asked to assess things in debriefing, Coulson had looked at all of them and said, “It was a clusterfuck, honestly.”

“No fault of yours, Clint,” Thor added. “But we performed in a manner not befitting our status as warriors and defenders of this realm.” He crossed his arms. 

“We were sloppy,” Natasha said.

Steve glanced down at his hands. He couldn’t help but feel that interjecting had only caused problems. Bruce, looking nauseous and sipping some green tea, grimaced in the corner and shook his head. “You have something to add, Dr. Banner?” Clint asked. 

“I think...reviewing things, at least, just now, maybe we were all - well, not me, that is, but - conscious of the fact that...” He glanced over at Steve, and Steve nodded. 

“We can’t count on everyone always being available,” Coulson said, crossing his arms. 

“No,” Steve said, and he felt his throat begin to tighten slightly - Bucky, he thought, and he wasn’t sure why. Steve had got buried under a building, had got frozen in ice, and Bucky had fallen. Bucky fell, and he had died because of Steve. He glanced down and realized that his hands were shaking, slightly. “I’m sorry, I’m going to-”

“I will accompany you,” Thor said, and he grabbed the back of Steve’s chair as soon as Steve wheeled himself back from the table. Steve caught Tony cocking his head and narrowing his brows, for a moment, and Steve looked away from him. 

“You cannot blame yourself,” Thor said, once they were outside of the conference area into a smaller, ancillary room. 

“No, I know that-”

“You were thinking of your fallen shield brother,” Thor said. “Your close comrade.”

“Yes,” Steve said. Thor crouched down so that he was in front of Steve and he placed a hand on his shoulder. “And not just that, just...everything that’s happened. I - sometimes I wake up and I am so cold.”

Thor nodded his head, meeting Steve’s eyes with a look that, for some reason, helped calm Steve. “I’m sorry, it’s not like you haven’t-”

“Aye,” Thor said. “Centuries did not prepare me for Loki’s betrayal. Yet it is a much different loss from what you have experienced. I have chosen this realm as my home.” 

Steve didn’t say anything for a moment, wondering if Thor was referencing what he had said before, about being concerned about running away from his problems in Asgard. Then he nodded. “I think, with this happening, I was able to forget about that - but...everything is just - well, not everything.” Steve ducked his head down slightly, and then looked up and leaned forward as Thor leaned forward as well. They kissed, Thor’s hand steadying him, and his tongue pressed inwards and made Steve wonder exactly what he might have done if it hadn’t been for Thor. 

“Steve?” Thor asked.

“I think I’m just worried,” Steve said. “Because if I don’t get back...then what am I? What am I going to do?”

“Ah,” Thor said. “You will be a good man.” It was the unconscious echoing of Erksine’s words that made Steve relax, and he felt the tension leave his body almost immediately. 

Thor leaned forward and kissed him again, and Steve felt relieved. This was one of the things he’d been waiting for, the right partner, and-

“Cap, just wanted to make sure - oh. Well.” Steve and Thor turned to see Tony, actually looking perplexed as he stood in the door. “I did not see that.” 

“Well,” said Steve, then, “Uh.” 

“I’ll leave you two to it,” Tony replied, and he still looked confused. It was an interesting look for him, and Steve had to smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *from _Santa Claus is Coming to Town_ , as sung by the Winter Warlock.


	10. Chapter 10

“Come on, Forrest, we’re waiting for you,” Tony said. Steve inhaled, then exhaled, as he grabbed the last two bags of snack foods and carefully walked into the living room.

Clint had made good on his threat to make Tony get further training in regards to battle tactics and strategy. When Steve first heard about how Clint wanted to meet that afternoon, he’d been apprehensive. Everyone was still raw from yesterday, and, in Tony, Clint, and Natasha’s case, still freshly bruised and bandaged. Steve couldn’t really figure out what a SHIELD training module would be like, at least on this subject - but he had instantly relaxed when he came into the living room and found Clint and Natasha setting an old fashioned board game up.

“Risk?” Bruce asked, following behind Steve. 

“Everything I ever learned about strategy - well, the foundations of strategy,” Clint said, “came from this bad boy.”

“Natasha, what happened to your arm?” Steve asked. He was pretty sure she hadn’t had it strapped to her chest yesterday. 

“Shoulder’s been giving me trouble for ages,” she said. “Popped out of socket again.”

“Has nothing to do with the fight,” Clint said, looking up at Steve. “Sometimes Tasha will just be cooking and it falls right out.” Natasha rolled her eyes, indicating that was a slight exaggeration. Steve nodded. 

“I was a gymnast as a child,” she said. “Fell off the uneven bars. Has been...sensitive sense then.” 

“Ah,” Steve said. “Are we going to try and conquer the world?” He furrowed his brow at this.

“Well...yes,” Clint said, and winced. Steve gave him a soft smile and pulled up a chair at the table. “But, you know, Cap, if you did...I’m sure you’d be a really benevolent dictator.” Steve grimaced at this. He supposed it was easy to say things like that when real dictators were more abstract for you.

“Ha,” said Tony. “We’ll never know, because he’s not going to win.”

“I have a feeling you were the kind of child who would knock a board game over if you weren’t winning,” Natasha said. 

“No,” said Tony, crossing his arms. “I didn’t play very many board games. Just with my nanny. Two person games.” Bruce pressed his lips together at this, then tentatively pat Tony on the back. 

“Well, it wouldn’t be board game night without some man pain,” Clint said. “Thor, you got the drinks, right?” 

“Yes,” Thor called, and came in from the kitchen with a large box of beer in one hand and a jar with a spout on it in the other. “Beer, and a combination of spirits and lemon juice.” 

“Lynchburg lemonade,” said Clint.

“Keep it classy, Hawkeye,” Tony said, but he took his coffee mug and filled it with the lemonade. Steve raised his eyebrows - he would have rinsed his own out, at first, but- “Not gonna notice after the second or third one,” Tony said. “C’mon Bruce, you definitely get to be green.” 

“I’m purple,” Clint said, grabbing a box with small game pieces in it, and then passing the black pieces over to Natasha. 

Thor and Tony reached for the red box at the same time. Steve closed his eyes for a moment, amazed at how quickly they had all reverted to adolescence when it came to choosing colors, but then Thor released his grasp on it and smiled. “I am content to be yellow,” he said. Steve took the blue box and then looked at the game board. 

“I’m going to read over the rules,” Clint said, “so we don’t have any questions - and no house rules, Stark, I don’t believe that story for a second-”

“I never said I hadn’t played the game,” Tony said. “It was quite popular at MIT, especially with the ROTC guys-”

“Sounds like a great time,” Clint said.

“Do not underestimate the ability of nerds to turn anything into a drinking game,” Bruce said. “Go ahead, Clint.” 

Clint read the rules, which seemed pretty straight forward to Steve. “So it’s a mock war game,” Thor said. “Except these small numbered cubes stand in for fate and luck.”

“Yes,” Clint said. “That is it precisely. Shall we begin? Roll of the dice determines who starts claiming countries first.”

As far as team bonding activities went, Steve would later determine that it was not their worst effort. The only activities that he would rank as better were those that did not involve pitting six superheroes and, therefore, competitive human beings who held themselves to high standards, against one another in a winner take all board game where you had to attempt to take over the world. 

“Oh, you’re one of _those_ players,” Bruce said, as soon as Tony consolidated his hold over the Australian continent with the only country in Asia you could attack it from.

“Of course - easy two armies-”

“You can’t exactly expand into Asia,” Bruce said.

“Never fight a land war in Asia,” Clint replied. 

“Never invade Russia in winter,” Natasha added.

“So, ever,” Clint said.

At the same time, Tony said, “I don’t care about taking Asia, I care about getting the easy two armies to build up my fortifications elsewhere.”

“I guess I just thought you’d be a little more...inventive than that,” Bruce said, quirking a slight smile. Steve sighed, then attacked Natasha, who was holding the only South American country not under his control.

An hour later, Tony said, “Anyone else find it ironic that the only two here with actual military experience have, like, five countries between them?” 

“We have seven,” Thor said. “Steven has four, and I have three.” 

“Good counting,” Tony said.

“Aye,” Thor replied. 

Twelve minutes after that, Thor handed in the cards that he had been hoarding and collected thirty-six armies and began his assault on Tony and Bruce’s territories. Steve couldn’t help but grin, because he had had the same thought. He got thirty-eight the next turn and ended up decimating Clint and Tony - which made it even more satisfactory.

“What! Come on!” Tony said. “Bruce!”

“I don’t know what you want me to do, I just lost five countries,” Bruce replied. “And North America.” 

Twenty minutes after that, Tony and Bruce were out. Natasha and Clint put up a very good fight, but eventually it was down to Steve and Thor. “Well,” Thor said, “A well played game.”

“Indeed,” Steve replied.

“Were you two...you were colluding,” Tony said. “What kind of ethics, or morals, or whatever-”

“Please tell me you know the difference between the two,” Natasha interjected.

“I do, yes,” Tony said. “What does that say about the two of you, you’re...whatevering, and then you secretly conspire to take all of us down.” 

“No,” Thor said. Steve shook his head. Clint grinned. 

“I take it your first lesson was a success,” Natasha said, and handed Thor another beer to open for her. 

“It was indeed,” Clint replied, and clinked his bottle with Natasha’s. “And that is why you always need to pay attention to the end game.” 

“Thanks, J. Walter Weathermen,” Bruce replied, and Clint grinned at him like he had found a new friend. 

“I enjoyed our team bonding activity,” Thor said, later, when they ordered in Thai food. “I think that we should play these board games more often. Perhaps as an evening. Like movie evening.” 

“Ah,” Tony said. “That is a completely original idea.” 

“Is it?” Thor replied, and Steve had to resist the urge to grin. Tony hadn’t caught on yet - that Thor knew a lot more than most people thought he did. That was probably going to be Clint’s third lesson.

After dinner, Thor walked with Steve to Thor’s room. Steve removed his leg braces when he entered the room, wanting to see how much he could walk on his own. Thor laced his arm through Steve’s as Steve hobbled, feeling as though he were walking with legs made out of gelatin. “You are pleased with this progress?” Thor asked, as he sat down on the couch. Steve stood for a moment on his own and then sat next to Thor.

“Yes, I...yes,” Steve said. “I’m worried, I mean...there might be a point where it doesn’t get better. Your mother even said-”

“There is little use in pondering that fact until you cease to make progress,” Thor said, and pushed some hair out of Steve’s face. “But I understand your concern.” He kissed his forehead, then kissed his cheek. Steve turned to him and pressed into Thor’s lips hard, lifted himself into Thor’s lap, and moaned as Thor helped him spread his legs to wrap around Thor’s body. “You are most eager tonight.”

“Yes,” Steve said. “I’m eager most of the time, though. The vast majority...I just...”  
“I understand this as well,” Thor murmured. “We shall proceed at whatever pace you see fit.” 

Steve ground his hips into Thor’s, and Thor groaned and kissed at Steve’s neck. “I thought we might watch a movie,” Thor said. “But perhaps we should move to the bedroom.”

“Yes,” Steve said.

“May I carry you?” Thor asked. 

“Yes,” Steve said. Steve was pretty sure that, in his old body, he would have strongly objected to anyone picking him up like this - but now, knowing how he was, it instead made him a little dizzy, it made his cock throb. Thor planted him gently on the bed, helping Steve maneuver back so he was against the pillows.

They kissed as they removed one another’s clothes, and Thor stroked down Steve’s sides with his hands. “You are a vision,” Thor said.

“I...thanks...” Steve murmured, spending more time looking at Thor. It was nice of him to say-

“You think I am insincere with my compliment?” Thor asked, kissing Steve’s hipbone and then running his fingers under the waistband of Steve’s underwear - and thank God, really, that he was back in those. Nothing said _fuck me_ like a diaper - amongst plenty other issues. 

“No,” Steve said, and Thor removed his underwear and neatly put them beside the bed. “I’m still not used to...I guess...”

“Ah,” Thor said, and he used his hands to spread Steve’s legs and kissed down his thighs. Steve shivered, and wiggled a bit as Thor kissed back up from his knee and then skipped to right above where his pubic hair began. Thor pushed Steve’s foreskin back with his hand. Then Thor took the tip of Steve’s cock into his mouth.

“Oh, God!” Steve said. If Thor’s hand had felt good, his mouth felt...ten times that, perfect, warm, soft, beautiful. Steve’s mouth dropped open and he felt his entire body shiver as Thor twisted his tongue around the head of his cock. 

“Some have said,” Thor said, and Steve laughed. Thor licked around the underside of Steve’s cock, then flicked it repeatedly at the head. Steve put a hand in Thor’s hair and wove his fingers through it. “That feels very good, Steve.”

Thor began to move slowly down his cock. “That feels so good,” Steve said. “Fuck, Thor, that’s so good.” 

He tugged at Thor’s hair and then slowly canted his hips further into Thor’s mouth. Thor moaned and sucked harder, licked him harder with his tongue. He took Steve’s balls into his hand and rolled them, then reached back further and thumbed at his prostate. “Oh, oh...” Steve said, and then Thor slowly pulled himself off of him, licked at his head, and smiled. “Thor...”

“You wish for more?” Thor asked.

“Tease,” Steve reply.

“Yes,” Thor said, and returned his attention to Steve’s cock, this time working a little faster and a little more deliberately. Steve had never felt anything even close to this connection, and he glanced down, trying to get a good look at Thor with his cock in his mouth. _Jesus,_ he thought. 

Thor put one hand on the root of Steve’s cock and worked it along with his mouth, and then his other cupped Steve’s balls and rolled them gently.

“Fuck!” Steve said, and then a thumb pressed behind his balls and stroked, gently. “Oh, God, that is...that is so good, Thor, I don’t...I’m going to...” Thor hummed, and Steve was surprised as Thor sucked him straight through his orgasm easily. Steve whited out at the end stage of it and closed his eyes and kept them closed for some time after. He was aware of Thor moving forward and laying down next to him and Thor’s hands running through his hair. “Thor, that was really amazing,” he said.

“Ah,” Thor said, and leaned and kissed Steve on the lips. Steve could taste himself, and that caused another body shiver - he had never imagined that anyone like Thor would ever have him on his lips. “Thank you.” 

“I would like to...”

“I would like you to,” Thor replied. 

“But I want you to tell me, if I should do anything different, or...” Steve raised his eyebrows, and a lazy smile crept across Thor’s face.

“I have confidence you will perform ably, Steven,” Thor said. There was something about how he said his full name that made Steve feel the familiar beginnings of an erection in his balls, his lower abdomen. Not that Thor wasn’t used to this - both of them, it seemed, had similar stamina and refractory periods. Their previous encounters featured several orgasms through their hands or through the friction of their bodies together. 

_This is a good addition, though,_ Steve thought. He kissed along Thor’s collarbones, and then focused on his nipples - Thor’s were incredibly sensitive, and Steve made sure to keep one in his mouth as he thumbed at the other. “Yes,” Thor said. He was generally quiet, throughout, so Steve relished each word.

It was difficult for him to get into position, but Thor assisted him where he needed it, maneuvering him until he was kneeling. Steve’s core and thighs were strong enough to hold him from there, though his lower legs tingled. Steve ignored it.

He traced his mouth down Thor’s abdomen and then stared at his cock, closer to Steve than one had ever been before. It was bigger than Steve’s own, nor surprising, thicker, but like Steve’s uncircumcised. Steve worked the skin back, exposing the head entirely. He put it into his mouth, his lips loose around the underside, remembering from Thor’s actions that this was the most sensitive point. “Yes,” Thor said. 

Steve moved down, slightly, and then back up. He touched his tongue to the tip and moaned as Thor worked his fingers back into his hair. “Gorgeous,” Thor said.

He twisted his tongue around, like Thor had. Thor had his own taste, slightly electric but also natural, like apple and salt. He licked broad strokes across the head, and Thor twisted underneath him.

“Please,” Thor said, and that was what it took to melt Steve’s trepidation. He worked down slowly, carefully, the feeling of something so full and thick in his mouth strange but also good on its own. He understood why people did this, it wasn’t just reciprocation, there was real power here. He was in charge, even in this position, and this realization emboldened Steve further.

He put a hand at the root of Thor’s cock - there was no way, his first time, he was getting all of it in his mouth. Still, he made substantial progress before he felt his throat tickling. He took the cue and worked back up, as slow as he had down. “Exquisite, Steven,” Thor said.

Once he had done that, it was considerably easier to move his mouth up and down over Thor. His finger’s tightened their hold on Steve’s hair, and Steve varied things, also like Thor had - removing Thor from his mouth and focusing his tongue on the head, or just working his lips and tongue over the head, then taking Thor’s cock back up and down.

He put another hand on Thor’s outer thigh, to hold himself steady. Thor probably could have accomplished this just with his hold on Steve’s head, though, and Steve moaned at the thought. He was hard again, and he brought his own hand down and began to stroke himself. “Yes, yes,” Thor murmured, and Steve looked up when he was as far down as he could get. “Oh, goodness, Steve,” he said. He held eye contact. 

Steve increased his pace, then, and realized his jaw was beginning to hurt from being opened. He pulled his mouth off entirely and immediately put his hand on Thor’s cock, working it quickly as he cracked his jaw. Thor gave him a soft smile, and before he could say anything, Steve put his mouth back to work - he wanted to do this for Thor. 

He remembered how quickly things had gone when Thor touched the spot between his legs, so he placed a hand back there and pressed. Thor moaned, then moaned again. Steve went just a little faster, also figuring out how to twist his tongue as he moved up and down.   
“Steve,” Thor said, voice urgent. “Steve, I will be..” Steve drew his mouth away, having not really considered how he was going to accomplish that, but his hand was in place. It took only a few strokes to finish Thor, and he came with a loud growl. 

Steve did as Thor had, though he flopped a lot more to get back to Thor’s chest. Thor drew him in, put Steve’s head across the broad expanse. “Had you not assured me to the contrary, I would presume you had done that before,” Thor murmured.

“Oh,” Steve said, and felt himself beginning to blush. “Well.” 

Thor reached a hand down and began to stroke Steve’s cock. Steve groaned. 

“We shall continue in the bath,” Steve said. 

“I...yes,” Steve managed.

They eventually got around to watching the movie. Steve rest his head on Thor’s shoulder and Thor wrapped an arm around him. _Even if..._ Steve thought, though he didn’t want to think about it, but still, it was there, on the precipice, and he needed to deal with it so that it went away for now, _even if this is all I get back, I could...this would be all right. Not ideal. But all right._

* * 

Steve walked to breakfast himself the next morning, and he wanted to think it was a little faster than he had the day before - but he hadn’t timed himself, so it was merely his own perception. He was still a little high from the night before, from his two orgasms and then how easy he and Thor had curled into each other, had fit together as they slept.

_Waffles are in order,_ he thought. Thor was training with Natasha and Clint that morning, so Steve could guarantee that they, at least, would arrive and would be hungry.

“JARVIS,” Steve said. “Would you mind talking me through waffles?”

“Belgian or traditional, Captain?” JARVIS asked.

“Traditional, I guess,” Steve replied, and then waited for the inevitable _I presumed, sir, but wanted to check_ \- the retorts were all the proof Steve needed that Tony had programmed JARVIS. 

“Certainly, sir,” JARVIS said, instead. Steve pressed his lips together, wondering if this meant JARVIS was beginning to like him. If maybe Tony was beginning to like him more. “Would you like to make them from scratch, or use a mix?”

“We’ll go mix,” Steve said. “I’m no Bruce.”

“What?” 

Steve turned, too sharply, and nearly tumbled over were it not for the fact he was moving towards the cupboards. He grabbed the counter top to steady himself. He had thought, since the kitchen was dark, that it was empty. But Bruce had fallen asleep with his head in a book on the breakfast bar, mug of tea by his side.

“Hello, Bruce,” Steve said.

“Steve,” Bruce said. “Waffles?” He rubbed at his eyes, pushed some of his hair around, and then grappled for his glasses. Steve would have head over to assist him, but Bruce found them before Steve would have made it.

“Would you like some?”

“I could waffle,” Bruce said, then gave an uncomfortable, single laugh. “Then sleep.”

“What are you, uh, working on?” Steve asked, hoping it wasn’t something related to him.

Bruce yawned. “Picking up on some old research, actually,” he said. “I thought people would have moved in on it, figured things out, since I...stopped, before, but...” He shrugged his shoulders. “Tony is a bad influence.” Steve furrowed his brow, not understanding. “In terms of staying up to do things. Time.”

“Yes,” Steve said.

“You’ll find the Bisquick in the second cupboard on the left, sir,” JARVIS said. 

“I can cut up some fruit, or something,” Bruce said.

“Sure,” Steve said, not wanting to suggest Bruce might want to get fully awake before he decided to operate a knife. They were all adults here.

“Coffee first,” Bruce said. Both of them proceeded in silence for a few minutes. Then Bruce made a slight coughing sound as he cut up some melon. “Do you mind if I ask you something, Steve?” 

“Uh, no,” Steve said.

“Yesterday, when Tony...you and Thor are..?” 

“Oh,” Steve said, and he felt bad - everyone knew but Bruce. Not that he had told Natasha, but if Clint had figured it out, he had either let Natasha in or she had observed similar behavior and came to the same conclusion. “Sorry. Yes.”

Bruce gave him a slight smile. “That’s good.” He put the melon in the bowl, then moved onto some strawberries. “It’s good?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. He wondered why Bruce felt the need to ask that. “I mean, I’m not, uh...it’s sort of new for me.”

“Oh,” Bruce said, but the way he said it implied he knew that.

“Bruce?” 

“Just, not that Thor would ever, uh, you know, do anything - I don’t want to imply that, at all - just, you know, I know, at least...being injured, or...you can be vulnerable.”

“Oh,” Steve said, and he thought about it for a moment as he made the waffle batter. “I appreciate that.” 

“Oh, good,” Bruce said. “I didn’t want to come off as a dick. I can, sometimes.”

Steve found this hard to believe, but then, again, Hulk came from somewhere. “Thanks.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Steve said. He couldn’t really articulate why, because he felt a little overwhelmed by the fact that there was someone looking out for him. That he had friends. And it was a simple thing, and he could have just said it, but...it wasn’t something you could really just say. Or he really could just say, at least. Instead, he figured he would just give Bruce the first waffle.


	11. Chapter 11

Steve took the braces off that afternoon and transitioned to a cane for balance. It made him think of how he might have ended up, only a few years after the war, if he had never got the serum. He hadn’t had any bone or joint problems, but his body’s one ability at that point seemed to be to find new ways to torture him and collapse in on itself. 

_Now look!_ he thought. _Pinnacle of human perfection!_ Maybe it was why he felt comfortable with Thor - there was something unnatural, still, about being taller than people, larger, taking up more space. He would still occasionally do double takes when he saw himself in the mirror. He would definitely do double takes when he saw himself in the mirror with Thor, wondering what someone like him saw in someone like Steve - only then realizing that the person standing next to Thor was himself. 

The problem was, he decided, was that he still sometimes couldn’t help but think of himself as a disappointment. 

 

 _And what’s the reason we’re fixating on this, Steve?_ he wondered, as he rounded the corner into the kitchen to get something for lunch. He was twenty-six, and he was a virgin, and he was deathly afraid that he was going to make for an unsatisfactory lover.

He’d looked into things - after making JARVIS issue an AI’s equivalent of the pinkie swear to keep the search records private. None of the things he’d read had seemed particularly useful. The movies - more so, but there was something so staged and false about the ones that he kept finding. Also, he was a little dismayed that with everything on the Internet it wasn’t easy to just search for an easy, pictorial guide to gay sex.

There was really only one thing to do, and Steve knew it was going to be incredibly awkward, but his desire not to be a complete disaster in bed won out over that. 

He went to Clint when he was on the roof, reading from his Kindle. “Captain,” Clint said, still a little terse - and hell, Steve figured, if it was as awkward as he was certain it would be, it actually might help to melt things between them further.

“I, uh, was wondering if you wouldn’t mind...if I asked you a few things, because earlier, you mentioned-”

It took Clint a moment, then his eyebrows raised into his forehead. He set the Kindle aside and grinned at him. Which was good, Steve figured, looked like only one of them would be stammering. “You want to know what happens when a Captain and a Thunder God like each other very, very much?” Steve blinked at him. “I sort of figured, after I mentioned to you about...you want to sit?”

“Thanks,” Steve said. They both looked at each. Clint was still grinning, and Steve had a very clear mental image of Natasha lecturing him on how to handle this conversation. 

“Have you seen his dick?” 

“Yes,” Steve said. Clint pressed his lips together and nodded. “It’s mostly just the, um, penetration I wanted-”

“Oh, well,” Clint said. “Well...so, have you given any thought to-”

“Not really,” Steve said, and he felt heat raising up from his chest and his mouth drying out. “I mean, it seems...the idea of both is interesting, and so I guess I would have to try and see-”

“OK,” Clint said. “Well, that’s the spirit. I, uh, personally like both...so...well. You know, Stark’s going to be really mad he wasn’t the one who got to do this.”

“Well, he hasn’t-”

“No,” Clint said. “But I’m sure he would have thought that he had plenty to offer, so.” Steve laughed at this, then grimaced. “Anyway...”

Steve listened intently - while at the same time, wished he were sort of on the outside looking in, because it would have been hilarious to catalogue all of the different euphemisms that Clint was using. “Wait, what?” he asked, towards the end, having completely lost what, exactly, Clint was talking about.

“Dude,” Clint said. “I had a poster of you on my wall when I was a kid.” Steve grimaced at this, and then nodded his head. 

“I, uh...thanks,” he said. “I think I’ve got it from here.” Clint nodded.

“I need a beer,” he said. Steve agreed - he, at least, understood the sentiment. He was impressed when Clint reached to the side of his deck chair and pulled two out. He tossed one at Steve, and he caught it easily. 

“So you and Coulson, huh?” Steve asked, and Clint gave him a look that bordered an alarmed - or as alarmed as Clint allowed himself to look before he was able to check it. “The poster.”

“Oh, me, Coulson, and every other boy and probably lots of girls in America,” Clint replied. “First super hero and all.”

Steve sipped at his beer and looked at how Clint’s posture had changed and how quickly he sucked down half of his beer. “Clint?”

“You’re not going to leave it, are you?” 

“Well,” Steve said. “You were helpful, so maybe, if there is something I can do...or just, you know, listen...” Clint looked at him. He was suspicious, and Steve fumbled with his beer bottle for a moment and then opened his mouth to take all of it back.

Clint started speaking first. “It’s just...guy like him, you know, he’s not going to be...”

“Gay?” Clint shrugged. “Willing to date a co-worker?” Clint nodded.

“Both.”

“Have you asked?” Steve said. He could tell from Clint’s expression that this had been an on-going issue, probably only exacerbated by Coulson’s temporary death. A lot of things about his recent behavior made sense, too, knowing about this. 

“And then what? It will only be awkward if he doesn’t...” 

Steve considered this. “Maybe someone else could ask.” He was getting the full scope of Barton facial expressions, it seemed - skeptical, then, Clint’s face sort of screwed into disbelief. 

“Coulson taught Natasha a lot of what she knows,” Clint said. Steve nodded, and pressed his lips together.

“Everyone pretty much assumes I don’t know anything about relationships or sex,” he said.

“Oh god,” Clint said, and chugged the rest of his beer. “You’re going to ask him for the talk? Wait. Did he send you?” Clint narrowed his eyes.

“See,” Steve replied. “That is exactly how it will happen.”

* * 

It sort of happened like that. Steve felt a little bit bad for it, but this was the sort of thing that you did for a teammate. For a friend. How many times had Bucky sent him out on missions to find out about some dame he liked, either by talking to her directly or figuring it out from her friend? 

“Agent Coulson,” he said, finding him in the kitchen carefully washing up some dishes. Coulson looked up and gave him a slight smile.

“Captain,” said Agent Coulson.

“I think that Stark was merely making a joke, but I just wanted to check that there isn’t anything administratively that I need to do, about, uh...” Steve reached back and scratched at his neck.

“Oh,” said Agent Coulson. He was definitely more flustered by the idea of Steve having sex than Clint was, but Steve had anticipated this. “No. I don’t believe so. Well.” 

“I want to make sure I follow any guidelines...” Steve said. He felt a little bad for doing this to Coulson - but it worked on just about everyone, even people who had watched as he flouted authority on several occasions. Steve had joked to Bucky, once, it was the only super power he had before the serum. 

“We generally do have our agents sign a disclosure agreement, but I don’t really think that the Avengers fall under the ambit of...” Coulson glanced away, and Steve nodded. 

“Is it common for agents to date one another?” he asked.

“Ah, yes,” Coulson said, obviously more at ease with indirect inquiries. “We find it’s quite common, given that, working with a security clearance...” Steve nodded along to this. 

“But the relationship would have to be...serious?” Steve asked. Coulson nodded, and dried his last dish in a towel. “So, something like Clint, and Helena, the nurse..?” 

Steve watched Coulson - how he didn’t blink, for a moment, the slight twitch to his lip and then the way that he looked down at the floor. “No,” Coulson said. “Unfortunately, Agent Barton would not be the best example of that policy.” 

Steve nodded and did his best to look concerned. “Most be awful lonely,” he said, adding an extra _aw shucks!_ dimension to his speech.

“Yes,” Coulson said. “It is.” 

* *

_Clint I think that_

Steve paused, not sure what he should say. _Coulson likes you?_ That seemed juvenile, and definitely not what he was after. _After poking at some of Coulson’s exposed emotional wounds, I discovered_...that was too maudlin. Steve sighed, and then sighed in a different way when Thor draped a hand around his shoulder.

“You are advising Clint?” Thor asked.

“Yeah,” Steve replied. “I was drinking a beer with him today, and, uh, he kinda let slip something about Coulson so I figured I would-”

“You engaged in matchmaking the two of them?” Thor asked, and Steve tilted his head back and smiled, slightly.

“I know they’re both adults and-”

“It is very common for people not to realize when someone has feelings for them,” Thor said, and kissed Steve lightly on the mouth.

“Yes,” Steve said. 

“Advise Clint that you feel he should take Coulson for a romantic dinner,” Thor said. “I believe that Coulson would appreciate the gesture and also immediately understand it to mean that the attraction is mutual.” 

“That sounds good,” Steve said, and he began to type. “Damnit,” he said. “This keyboard is so small.”

“I dictate my responses,” Thor replied.

“There’s a way to do that?” Steve asked.

“Aye,” Thor said. “Pepper demonstrated it to me.” He leaned down further to reach for Steve’s phone just as it beeped with an incoming message.

 _Figures it would take Captain America to get us to pull our heads out of our asses,_ Clint replied.

“That,” said Thor, “is an interesting expression.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. I know. Didn't see that coming, eh? Honestly, I've never written Clint/Coulson before - not that I don't like the pairing, or read it, it just never...but then, rereading to make sure I didn't screw up my own continuity in the ending, I realized that this was sort of happening in the background. So! Tiny little bonus chapter.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Primarily smut from when Thor suggests shower onward.

It took another two days before Steve was walking on his own. “Stupid,” he said to himself as he wobbled from his room to the kitchen. When he had thought about and conceived of his recovery, he had thought that once he was walking on his own it would be the end of things. He would be mobile, back to his usual self, everything would be fine...he neglected to think about how his muscles were still underused and a little atrophied. And how he had to get used to walking again, how there would still be neuropathic pain, and how there was a huge difference between walking and functioning as Captain America. 

“Stupid?”

He turned, and steadied himself by putting his hand to the wall. “Hello, Clint,” he said. He wasn’t sure if he should bring up his text message, inquire whether Clint had followed his advice-

“How are you stupid?”

“Oh,” Steve said, and he sighed. “Guess I just thought...walking would be enough. Not...not that I would need a lot more rehabilitation.” 

“Ah,” Clint said. “Are you, uh...getting lunch?” Steve nodded, and Clint slowed his pace and walked with Steve to the kitchen. “We’ve got some leftovers from last night.”

“Yeah,” Steve said. “That was what I was thinking. I, uh, prefer the pizza cold.” Clint, he decided, would volunteer something if and when he was ready. Hopefully if - Steve figured since he had done the so-called dirty work, he should probably be notified if he had achieved success or not. 

Clint took out two plates, then grabbed the pizza out of the fridge and set it between the two of them on the table. “You still have any of those physical therapists around?” Steve shook his head. “Natasha and I, we can train with you...if you want.” 

Steve nodded as he chewed, and noted the use of the word train. Clint seemed, at least, to be a lot less on edge. “I’d really like that.”

Clint chewed his pizza. “You know, it’s bad enough being Loki’s brainwashed minion. Then I was going to be the guy that paralyzed Captain America.”

“Well, technically, you did. I got better.” He wasn’t sure why he said it, and it probably wasn’t as good at lightening the mood as some other statements might have been - but it was all that came to his head. Clint at least smiled. 

“Turned you into a newt,” he replied.

“Is that a reference?” Steve asked. Clint nodded, his smile broadening slightly. “I’ve watched a few too many movies lately-”

“I can just show you the Youtube clip,” Clint replied. “That’s what Youtube is for.” 

“OK,” Steve said. He wasn’t entirely sure, but he was going to go with it. 

“We can go this afternoon,” Clint said. “I’ve come back from some injuries that were pretty...so has Natasha-”

“You’ve had more,” Natasha said, entering as quietly as normal. “Because you have a bad habit of making poor choices.”

“Oh,” Steve said, and Natasha inclined her head. “I just thought, in New York...”

“That’s not even close,” Natasha said.

“What would you rather had me do, get blown up with that building?” Clint asked. 

“Maybe asked for some assistance, first?” Steve asked. “But...no, you’re right.”

“Don’t encourage her,” Clint said. Steve smiled slightly - he had thought that, with his injury, at least it had brought the team together more. But they had quickly frayed around the edges. Now, things were beginning to seem natural again, even with he and Thor doing...whatever it was they were doing. Dating sounded a bit juvenile, and Steve wasn’t sure if there were better terms that had been invented since he had been around. 

Natasha walked by and picked a piece of pizza off of Clint’s plate and then smiled at Steve. He liked seeing a more relaxed, natural side of Natasha - though it recalled how she had been when she had knelt beside when he had initially been injured. He caught her eye and she seemed to be thinking the same thing, and she looked down for a moment. 

“Speaking of encouraging,” Clint said, seemingly oblivious to the little exchange between them, “have two seen our resident evil geniuses lately?”

“Have they gone evil?” Steve asked, trying to sound slightly concerned. Natasha shrugged.

“So no,” said Clint. “Do we feel like we should check?”

“I would think if it were really concerning Pepper would be asking us to,” Natasha said. 

Steve shrugged, and then turned when he heard Thor come down the hall. “You did not tell me you were consuming the last of the pizza,” he said, lingering in the doorway for a moment before stepping in. “Or were you hoping to keep it to yourself?”

“It is very difficult to get a pizza around here,” Clint said, and Natasha kicked the back of his chair. 

“I was under the impression we could order a servant to bring it to us,” Thor said. 

“Delivery person,” Clint said.

“I see,” said Thor, and Steve shrugged his shoulders. “I thought that they were in a service to the place that bakes the pizza in exchange for monetary compensation.” He crossed his arms, and Clint instantly appeared to have a moderate head ache. 

“Well, they work for them,” Clint said. “Is that the same?” He looked at Steve and Natasha.

“Not my first language,” Natasha replied.

“Not my first time period,” Steve added. Clint side-eyed him, and it was Steve’s turn to shrug. He almost felt a bit guilty, though, getting this back - this casual, friendly sort of banter that he had really only had with Bucky until he had it with the Commandos. _But you can’t hold yourself, your happiness hostage,_ he thought, and sort of shuddered at how sappy it was. He had to have got that from a movie. 

Besides, he would have had to do the same thing even if he had never had to take the plane down into the Arctic. He would have had to move on. “I’m going to start working out with Natasha ad Clint,” Steve said.

“An excellent choice for your continued improvement,” Thor said, and he took the last piece of pizza and ate it quickly. “I may join your session,” said Thor. “I would be interested to see your techniques and perhaps to spar with one of you.” 

Natasha glanced at Clint, who shrugged his shoulders. “As long as you can go easy, big guy. Not all of us regenerate.” Steve felt a pang from that statement. 

“I believe I have the requisite control to temper myself,” Thor said.

“Great,” Clint replied.

They did yoga, and Thor laughed alongside Steve as both of them went through the variety of movements in an awkward, clumsy fashion - though Steve suspected Thor was just doing this for his benefit and that Thor probably had much better control over his body than he was demonstrating. Steve caught himself staring, a few times, at how Natasha and Clint were able to move. He knew that they were flexible, but this was... 

“I think,” Steve said, as Natasha helped him to stretch out one of his legs, “that I should just do this with you even when I’m...I mean, you do practice-”

“Every other day, generally,” Natasha said. 

“I have found that flexibility is necessity as a warrior,” Thor replied, and Steve smiled slightly, because that seemed to confirm his earlier hypothesis. 

“It’s good for other things, too,” Clint said. There was a smirk on his face. Steve resisted the urge to sigh as Natasha moved to Steve’s other leg. He groaned as a sharp line of pain zig-zagged down it. Steve had thought he was done with those, and he felt embarrassed.

“I’m fine,” he said, when Natasha stopped pulling on his leg. “Just...looks like a few things still aren’t connected.” 

“Don’t tell her that,” Clint replied. “She’ll just do that _more._ She was a ballerina, you know.” Steve cocked his head slightly. Natasha didn’t look up or give any indication she had heard Clint.

“He was a circus performer,” she said, lifting Steve’s leg so he could feel the more pleasant burn of his muscle stretching. 

“The Amazing Hawkeye,” Clint said.

“Is that where the name came from?” Steve asked. He had always wondered. He had sort of hoped there was someone sitting around SHIELD coming up with ridiculous code names for everyone. 

“World’s Greatest Marksmen,” Clint added.

“Ah,” said Thor, tucking his legs underneath each other and stretching upwards. “I had thought you had acquired that title by vanquishing all the other marksmen of this realm.”

“Uh,” Clint said, and he looked at Steve - as if Steve was going to be able to help him with _that._ “It doesn’t quite work that way.”

“One can just be the best by claiming to be the best?” Thor asked.

“It was just for promotion?” Clint said, and Steve had to try really hard not to laugh. “It’s not like I put it on my business cards or anything.”

“Hmm,” Thor said. “Surely it would be possible to test this. Would you not sleep easier, knowing it were true?” 

“You’ve been fucking with us all along, haven’t you?” Clint asked, and Thor widened his eyes and gave Clint his most innocent look. 

After the yoga, Steve had to steady himself on Thor as they walked to Steve’s room to take a shower. “Their friendship grounds both of them,” Thor said. 

“I think so,” Steve replied. 

“It is good. Both can become weighted down by their pasts,” Thor said. Steve had to smile - so that was why he had kept pushing Clint on the World’s Greatest Marksmen thing. “After all, each of us has red in our ledger.”

Steve nodded. He didn’t want to think about that, and Thor seemed to sense this. He pulled his posture a little more erect and pressed his lips together. Steve reached and took his hand.

“Shower?” Thor asked. Steve nodded, and he meant to sit down on the bed but instead he sort of fell backwards and landed with a bit of a thud. It was a lot like the first few days after the serum, when he had felt so backwards in his body as he hit his head, knocked things over, and hurt people because he didn’t know his own strength. “Steven?” 

“I’m good,” Steve said, pulling his workout shirt off and then flopping back on the bed. _You’ve made it through this_ , he thought, _the rest of just baby steps._ Then he’d be back to normal - whatever that was. Awake, alive in the twenty-first century, dating an alien. A male alien. He would figure it out. 

“Then come join me,” Thor said. 

Steve stood and shed his sweat pants. Thor was already in the rain forest shower. His back was turned to Steve as he let the water trickle down. Steve stood, taking it all in - the breadth of his shoulders, the way his waist narrowed into his rounded, muscular ass- “You like what you see?” Thor didn’t turn, just pushed some his blonde hair over his shoulder. 

“Very much,” Steve said. He pressed himself against Thor’s back - Thor had maybe three, four inches on him, so Steve was able to put his head comfortably between Thor’s shoulder blades. He wrapped his arms around Thor’s waist and then ran one hand up so that it was on Thor’s nipple and another down to cup his hip. 

“Good,” Thor replied, and he broke away to turn to Steve. He sighed as the water ran from Thor’s hair and down his chest. Steve tilted his head up and met Thor in a kiss. “Aren’t you marvelous?” Thor asked, cupping Steve’s already half-erect cock. Steve blushed, slightly, but mostly he decided he should just be glad for this moment and the moments that were going to follow instead of focusing on how often he blushed. Thinking about them.

The shower was languid, mostly hands working over various parts of their bodies - with an unspoken agreement to ignore the most obvious. Thor kneaded his fingers into Steve’s ass and ran his fingers down his side and it was just on the pleasant side of ticklish. Steve kissed at Thor’s chest and worked his fingers into Thor’s shoulders. He liked how he could feel the muscles relax underneath his touch, feel Thor relax. 

“Perhaps this is not the best venue,” Thor murmured, mostly into Steve’s hair before he kissed him on top of his head. “But I wish to inquire about your desires.” 

“OK,” Steve said. Thor ran a hand down the center of his abdomen, and Steve waited - it took him a moment to realize that Thor might actually be a bit...bashful, in this moment, possibly blushing. “You mean...about...”

“Fucking,” Thor said, and Steve issued a slight, involuntary moan that caused Thor’s hand to drift further down his abdomen, gently petting his hair, skirting around his cock. Steve felt his legs go slightly weak. 

“I - I would,” Steve managed. “Fucking.”

“Good,” Thor said, and the he must have used his other hand to turn the shower off. “I want you, quite badly. I have for some time.”

“Yes,” Steve replied. They moved out of the shower and didn’t dry themselves - Thor’s hands held Steve’s hips and lifted him right onto the bed, wet, and Steve could feel the beads of water dripping down his skin. His sense of touch felt heightened, and each of Thor’s fingers seemed to be tracing electricity over him. 

Steve spread his legs and Thor stood between them while Steve reclined on the bed. He kissed teeth, hard, eager, his tongue twisting around Steve’s. “I would worship every inch of you,” he said. “And I will not hear any objections.”

“Don’t have any,” Steve replied, working backwards as Thor climbed on top of him so that their hips and cocks’ connected.

“How shall we fuck?” Thor asked. He kissed at Steve’s neck and then drug his teeth along the flesh. 

“Um,” Steve said, and Thor kissed down his collarbone. “I don’t want you to be-” Thor’s tongue flicked over his nipple. “To be uncomfortable, and, uh-” Steve had decided Thor was probably - definitely - a top, and-

“Ah,” said Thor, and he cupped the side of Steve’s head and smiled, soft and brilliant. “You shall repay me at another juncture, worry not, Steve.” He worked his fingers through Steve’s hair, the gesture more playful than anything.

“Oh, I - wait, you mean you want me to-”

“Why wouldn’t I enjoy the pleasure of your cock?” Thor asked, and palmed said cock just to emphasize things. Steve felt his eyebrows raise into his forehead. “We are both warriors. Shield brothers. We shall enjoy each other equally and you-” He nibbled Steve’s neck again, and then sucked hard, “-shall pay me back in turn.” 

“OK,” Steve said. He kissed Thor, then, and he felt relieved - not that he had been preoccupied by it, but he was glad that Thor was this open. “I’ve looked into it, a bit, but if you could...” He kissed at the center of Thor’s chest and then put just his lips on one nipple, then the other.

“Ah, yes,” Thor said, and there were still rivulets of water running down his chest as some of his hair moved forward. Thor wrapped his fist around both of them and thrust, slowly, as Steve licked and then gently bit each of his nipples in turn. Steve ran a hand down Thor’s side and cupped his ass, and then shivered. 

Thor rolled them to their side, and Steve sighed and draped a leg over Thor’s hip, eager for more contact between them. Thor tightened his grip slightly and kissed Steve, hard, mouth eager as he flicked his hips into Steve. “Thor, I’m...” Steve said, his orgasm building suddenly and swiftly. Thor broke away and grinned at him and kissed his cheek. He came shortly after Steve did, and Steve curled his head into Thor’s chest and made a soft moaning sound. 

“So lovely, Steven,” Thor said, and ran his fingers back from Steve’s temple. They lay for a moment, two, longer, and then Thor kissed his head and reached for the lubricant. 

Thor shifted, and used his hand to guide Steve’s leg down. He replaced it with his own, and Steve traced his hand down Thor’s spine and then into crease in his flesh. Thor was so open, like this, and Steve shuddered a bit at - especially thinking that he would be the one to enter him, and he felt his cock begin to harden again. Thor chuckled. Steve traced with just a finger, settling at Thor’s opening, and then circled. He almost laughed, remembering Clint’s advice, but managed to contain it and just smiled. He would tell Thor, and Thor would get a kick out of it. Just...after.

Steve inhaled, and pressed his single finger in slowly. He marveled at how it felt, soft and tight at the same time and very hot. “Oh, God,” he said. Thor nuzzled at his lips and kissed him. Steve pressed in further, cautiously beginning to look for his target.

“Yes, that feels so good,” Thor said, and he rocked into Steve, helping Steve to get in further. Steve moved his finger, in and out, and then almost all the way out and in. Thor moaned. “You are close,” he said, after Steve thrust for another half a minute - so Steve crooked his finger, hoping, and Thor’s moan deepened. “Another, Steve,” he said, and Steve slid two fingers in. “As if you were fucking me,” Thor said.

“Yeah?” Steve asked, increasing his rate, and Thor kissed at his neck and then his lips.

“As with all else, you are a quick study,” Thor said, and this time the thrust of his hips emphasized how full and hard his cock was. “Deeper, Steve.” Steve wasn’t entirely sure it was possible, but Thor shifted his hips and he found his fingers inside Thor further. He spread them as he thrust in and out, getting sucked into the noises that Thor was making - that Steve was leading Thor to make.

“Fuck,” Steve said. 

“I agree,” Thor said, and Steve drew his fingers out and Thor rolled onto his back. Steve knelt, still a bit wobbly, but much more coordinated than he had thought. “Stay like that a moment,” Thor said, and tilted his head. He smiled. “Stroke and prepare your cock.”

Steve’s moan was deep at that, and he quickly fisted himself. Thor seemed to have required less preparation than Clint had indicated - but then again, he was otherworldy, and Thor seemed to have done this before, so there was no point in worrying. 

Thor slung a leg over Steve and used it to draw him closer. Steve’s cock throbbed, but he focused on breathing deeply - God or whatever, he probably should go slow. For his own benefit, as well. 

“Oh, fuck, God,” Steve said, mostly involuntarily, as suddenly his cock was enveloped in heat and warmth and it was so goddamn tight he thought he was going to explode from the feeling alone. Thor smiled softly at him, and Steve closed his eyes and thrust in further, each thrust pressing in a little bit more into Thor. He felt strong, Steve decided, and the way he was laying emphasized the lines of the muscles of his abdomen. “You are so beautiful,” Steve said. 

Thor turned his head at this, and Steve paused for a moment before Thor’s smile widened. Steve found himself in further than he thought possible, every nerve in his cock surrounded by soft, tight flesh. “Fuck you feel so good, I-” 

“Move, Steven,” Thor said, a slight growl to his voice, and Steve moaned and complied. 

He pulled nearly all the way out, and then slid in with one smooth stroke. Thor’s body yielded, and Steve found that very hot - Thor trusted him, it was clear in his eyes, and more than that, he was making Thor feel good. Hopefully as good as it felt to Steve, though certainly different-

Steve thrust several times before his legs began to tighten and cramp, and he swallowed and shifted forward a bit to take the weight off of them. This only made it worse, and he wanted to cry - juvenile a reaction as it was, but he couldn’t believe that after everything his injury was going to reassert itself and remind him that he wasn’t whole, wasn’t good enough.

“Uncomfortable?” Thor asked, and Steve debated and then nodded - neither of them would enjoy themselves if he didn’t admit to it. “We will arrange ourselves differently, then,” Thor said, and so Steve pulled out, though he was a little confused - being behind Thor wouldn’t make it any better, and he wanted to see his face. “On your back.”

Steve rolled over, though he was confused - not that he minded, he really just wanted to please Thor, and if it meant they had to switch now, then he would be fine with that. Even if he would miss the feeling of being inside of Thor.

Then Thor straddled over him, and Steve said, “Oh. _Oh._ ” Thor took Steve’s cock in his hand and shifted himself until he was over him. Steve moaned as Thor worked the tip of his cock against Thor’s opening. “Tease.”

“Yes,” Thor said, and then slid onto Steve.

“Fucking hell,” Steve said, and this was most certainly, definitely better. Thor slid onto him easily, one long, graceful movement. 

“Cant your hips along with me,” Thor said, and he rolled his own slightly to show Steve. He followed the motion as Thor worked up and down, and on the third of fourth stroke Thor squeezed his eyes shot. “Yes, it is there, Steve, please-”

“Absolutely, fuck,” Steve said. They were completely connected, it seemed, and Thor pressed a hand to Steve’s chest and Steve reached and dug his fingers into Thor’s hip. “Yes, that feels - you feel so good, I want-” Another orgasm was coming, this one pulling slower, but all of the sensations were there.

“Thrust,” Thor said, a deep growl of a command, and Steve arched his hips up and slammed them into Thor, along with Thor’s own rhythm. “Yes, fuck, yes, Steve.”

“Thor...” Steve managed, he felt the build of his orgasm spread from his cock up his spine and through his limbs. “I can’t, I want, I’m going to-” Thor fisted himself, and Steve fixed his eyes on that vision - Thor, riding him, pleasuring himself, lost in the motions they were making together with Steve deep inside of him. “Holyfuck,” Steve said as Thor came - definitely one word, and Steve felt some of Thor’s come trickle down from his hand and onto’s Steve’s hip. “Oh, God..!” Thor was clenching around him, so perfect and hot and tight, and Steve made a very large moaning sound as he pumped himself into Thor, coming in three or four long waves. 

Thor remained motionless for a moment, then withdrew and lay down beside Steve. He placed a head on Steve’s chest, something he had not done before. Steve did as Thor had to him, and ran his fingers through Thor’s hair. “Had I all my faculties,” Thor said, voice soft, “I would say your claims of limited experience in this regard are folly.” 

“Uh,” Steve said. Then, “I have always been a quick learner.” 

“As you have readily made apparent,” Thor said. His posture was loose, Steve realized as he allowed his hand to drift down his back. “I am certainly looking forward to exploiting that further.” 

“Yes,” Steve said. Then, “I mean, I agree.”


	13. Chapter 13

“Steven.”

For a moment, Steve thought he was back in the crumbled building - broken, bleeding, not even able to feel half of his body. Then he pulled himself out of the last vestiges of sleep and realized that Thor was propped up on his side, resting on his elbow, smiling down at him.

“Yes?” Steve smiled, and Thor leaned down and just grazed his lips with a kiss.

“Coulson did not leave last evening,” Thor said. “He came over to speak with Natasha and has remained in the Tower since.” 

“How do you know that?” Steve asked. He reached and pushed some of Thor’s hair out of his face.

“I asked JARVIS,” Thor replied.

“You’ve been keeping track?” Steve asked. 

Thor grinned and raised his eyebrows. “I was interested in the success of your endeavor,” he said. “Though JARVIS is only willing to share the location of Coulson if he is in the Tower.”

“Sir has instructed that privacy is of outmost importance to all residents,” JARVIS replied. 

“You see?” Thor said.

“Though you may find it expedient to get breakfast at this time,” JARVIS added.

“If there was any doubt you were made by Tony Stark,” Steve said, and Thor leaned over and kissed him, harder and deeper this time. 

“Come,” said Thor. “We will make French toast. Or waffles.” 

“Sure,” Steve said, and he pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. Thor wrapped a robe around himself after pulling boxers on, exposing his chest and the tuft of hair in the center. Steve let his eyes linger there, then met Thor’s eyes. 

“We shall approach with the utmost stealth,” Thor said. Steve nodded. “I always find joy when two of my friends are able to find companionship with one another.” Steve nodded - it would be a good thing for both of them, especially if they’d been pining for each other for some time.

The kitchen generally wasn’t used for breakfast - each of them had a small kitchenette in their room with a breakfast bar. Any elaborate breakfast, like waffles or sausage, however, required the facilities of the larger, centralized kitchen.   
Steve stopped and watched for a moment, a slight smile creeping up his face. Clint was wearing a t-shirt that was nearly translucent and a pair of sweat pants and it was clear that Coulson had borrowed items from Clint - Steve was pretty sure he didn’t own a zombie movie shirt or a pair of bluish-purple pajama pants.

“Greetings, Clint and Son of Coul!” Thor said, and Clint looked up, wide-eyed, while Coulson attempted to hang onto his standard neutral expression. “Steven and I have come to indulge in a large breakfast as well.”

“Well,” said Clint, and he flashed Steve a quick smile before settling his face as well, “we’ve got some leftover waffle batter and there are more sausages in the fridge.” 

“That’s great,” Steve said. “Would either of you like anymore?”

“I am good, thank you, Captain,” Coulson said. 

“You can stop fucking with us, too, Thor,” Clint said. “I told Coulson all about you.” 

“I merely sought to take advantage of the perception that I am...” Thor said. 

“You too,” Clint said, and pointed his finger at Steve.

“I’m really not fucking with you, though?” Steve replied, pulling sausages and a fresh fruit salad out of the fridge. He really needed to thank Pepper for arranging their daily food deliveries - or getting one of her assistants to it, more likely, regardless, with all that he and Thor ate it was probably a task. 

“It’s good to see you up and about, Captain,” Coulson said. He met Steve’s eyes, and Steve smiled at him.

“I’m getting there,” Steve said. “Clint and Natasha are helping.” Coulson nodded at this.

“Just out of curiosity,” Clint said, “what were you going to say?”

Thor put some batter into the waffle maker. “I have heard that it is customary in your realm to indulge in a large breakfast after a night of vigorous sex.” 

Steve shook his head slightly. “And drinking,” Clint said. “In fact, I think most people eat these kinds of breakfast because of drinking.”

“It is the same in Asgard,” said Thor. “In fact, I would prefer a light breakfast, such that I do not feel weighted down by all of the food and can continue the vigorous fucking.” 

Steve sighed, knowing that he was turning red - this seemed to amuse Clint and Coulson, though, which was probably the point. “Waffles, Thor?” Steve said.

“Ah, yes, thank you, Steve,” Thor replied, and put a waffle onto a plate. “I must say, waffles are one of the Midgardian delicacies I particularly enjoy.”

“I’m not sure they’re a delicacy,” Coulson said. His shoulders had finally relaxed.

“JARVIS, would you mind making another pot of coffee?” Steve asked - speaking of Thor’s favorite Midgardian delicacies. 

“Yes, Captain,” JARVIS replied.

“JARVIS makes your coffee?” Clint asked. “Why doesn’t JARVIS make my coffee?”

“Mister Stark advised that I make all coffee for the Captain and Thor in order to preserve the health of the coffee maker in the kitchen,” JARVIS replied.

“I’m sure you can operate a coffee maker,” Clint replied.

“Well, I’m sure too,” Steve said. “But I’m not going to argue with having a little less to fumble around with in he morning.” Clint shook his head at this, then nodded at Coulson. “Honestly,” Steve said, because why not address it, “I don’t understand why everyone thinks I just...follow the rules. I spent most of the war doing the opposite of what I was told.” 

“Most people don’t have access to those records,” Coulson replied. “The novels and comics tend to suggest otherwise.” 

“Phil has all of them,” Clint said. “I am sure he will let you borrow them.” It was Coulson’s turn to blush as Thor set another waffle on a plate. They both sat down on the table and added butter, maple syrup, and powdered sugar. Clint shook his head. “I wish I had that kind of metabolism - I’ll probably get fat when I’m done with all of this shit.”

“Mmm,” Coulson said.

“Like some old people do heroin,” Clint added.

“I think that was just in that movie,” Coulson replied. Steve chewed his waffle thoughtfully, wondering what the two of them had been waiting for - the ease of their interaction was hardly something that developed overnight. _You did a good thing, Steve,_ he thought. It sort of made him feel like the Boy Scout that he was often made out to be. 

“I desire more waffles,” Thor said. “Steve?”

“Sure,” Steve replied. 

* * 

“I thought this evening we might go on a proper date,” Thor said, when they walked back to Steve’s room. “But I must point out that the urgency of our mission kept me from having you this morning.” 

“Oh,” Steve said, as Thor draped his arm around his shoulder and then trailed it down to his ass. Thor’s fingers kneaded into his flesh, and Steve could only help but react - physically, involuntarily, and mentally, imagining Thor- “Yes, I would like that.”

“You would like that?” Thor asked, and grinned down at him.

“Very much,” Steve said, and this time he turned and took control of Thor as they moved into the large studio apartment - he put his hands on his waist and held, tight, as he kissed Thor. Then he guided him to the bed and easily climbed into his lap. 

“I see that,” Thor replied, and Steve undid the strap to his robe and put his hands on Thor’s chest. Thor kissed him back, then trailed his lips down Steve’s neck. “You are comfortable changing positions?” 

“Yes,” Steve said - he was a little more anxious about this, but he wanted it. And Clint had certainly made it sound like it was...good, though Steve didn’t really want to think about that, given whose breakfast they had just interrupted.

Steve pushed Thor down, and Thor relented, giving him better access to Thor’s nipples. Steve licked and sucked at them, running his hand down Thor’s side and then dragging it beneath the band of his pajama pants. He circled his thumb over the tip of Thor’s erect cock, and Thor sighed into Steve’s neck. 

“You are a delight,” Thor murmured, and his hands were clutching Steve’s ass, fingers eager as they massaged his flesh. 

They undressed quickly, and Thor quickly began to kiss all over Steve’s body - as he had promised to earlier. He teased Steve around his nipples and around his cock, spending an infuriating amount of time kissing the insides of Steve’s thighs. “Thor, I-”

As soon as Steve said this Thor pressed a kiss to the tip of his cock. “Fuck,” Steve added. Thor hummed and kissed down the shaft of Steve’s cock and then licked up it. “Oh, goodness, Thor-” 

“I am going to make you howl for me,” Thor murmured. “Though not quite yet.”

Steve furrowed his brow, then understood what Thor meant as he meticulously licked and sucked Steve’s cock, his movements as slow and teasing as he had kissed along Steve’s body. Steve felt himself begin to melt into the mattress and squirm at Thor’s touch. 

“Good,” Thor said, and he used his hands to guide Steve’s legs upwards, exposing him. Steve sighed, and then Thor put his thumb on his perineum and pressed as he took Steve’s cock down again.

“Yes, very good,” Steve agreed, and then moaned as Thor took his balls into his mouth - sucking gently on one, and then the other, and leading Steve’s legs to quiver slightly. Then Thor’s tongue licked down as his hands spread him open further. “Thor, what are you - oh!” 

Steve hadn’t really known this was something people did, but Thor was licking straight to the center of him. His hands were now on the sides of Steve’s ass and spreading him, his tongue moving up and down - and Steve hadn’t thought he would be so sensitive, each of his nerve endings clamoring for me. Which made sense, of course. 

Thor began to circle, just as Steve thought it couldn’t get more intense - and then he pressed inwards, slowly. Steve recalled their shower from last night and felt silly for not realizing what Thor’s attentions were aimed at, and he shivered and sighed and then moaned when Thor swirled his tongue and made his way further inside. The feeling was deep, intense, and Steve felt waves of roiling pleasure drawing him closer and closer to orgasm. “Thor, fuck, I - oh! Oh!” 

Thor drew away, and Steve sighed, but his tongue was quickly replaced with a lubed finger. Thor drew slowly up and down and then around, just as he had with his tongue. “I wish such pleasure for you...” Thor murmured, and he shifted his position and stroked the outside of Steve’s one thigh. “I am going to enter you slowly, now, Steven, but you must let me know if you are uncomfortable.” 

Steve nodded, and Thor slipped into the hard ring of muscle and palpated his finger quickly so that Steve was pretty near the quaking mess he had been earlier. Then Thor went further, slowly, so careful. Thor met Steve’s eyes and Steve smiled softly at him, because it felt good - he felt full and tight.

“You are beautiful, Steven,” Thor murmured, and his finger crooked and explored, exposing even more sensitive parts of him. Steve just nodded, and moaned, a little overwhelmed by how carefully Thor was treating him. “I will use another.”

“Yes,” Steve said, and within a few strokes he began to feel something that was close to electricity - trite as it was to use it with Thor - and then suddenly it went straight to his cock and his brain simultaneously. Thor pushed further, making it harder for Steve to really formulate anything. “Oh God, fuck, that’s so...good, that’s so...” 

“This is what I want for you,” Thor replied, smile creeping further up his face. He removed his fingers and leaned down and took Steve’s cock into his mouth again. Steve tried to say something in response to the slow, languid movements, but instead he just spit out some syllables. Thor pulled back after a few moments and smiled down at Steve as he rose to his full height.

Thor guided Steve’s legs up to his shoulders. He rubbed his cock in Steve’s crease and then moved forward so that Steve was nearly bent in half - as he simultaneously moved into Steve, only the smallest movement, but he was inside him nonetheless. “It’s good, it feels good,” Steve said, probably because he was so relaxed. 

Thor spread his own legs wider and plunged in slowly, and Steve seemed to feel every inch of movement - he felt like he was being stretched to his limits and it _was_ good, his nerves responding with a mixture of pleasure and pain that was crackling and building.

“I won’t-”

“I know,” Thor said, and he slid the rest of the way in Steve as he was completely on top of him, now kissing Steve on the mouth. He rocked, the movement gentle and slight. Steve bit at his lower lip and Thor cupped his jaw. “So good, Steven,” he said. “So very good.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, and Thor slid out, then in, almost ponderous, because Steve just really, really wanted to come. Thor had pulled him to the edge three, four times now. “Fuck, Thor, I really want to-”

“Oh, I know,” Thor said, and Steve could feel his smirk as he kissed him again. There were a few more slow strokes and then Thor began to rock his hips and press inwards and Steve had to squeeze his eyes shut at how fucking intense it felt when Thor’s cock hit his prostate. He moaned, loud, and bucked his hips into Thor, desperate for more contact. “Yes, Steve, like that-”

Later, Steve would reflect that it was a little silly that he didn’t the person on bottom did very much. He worked against Thor, their rhythm as unified as when Steve had topped, and he got Thor to increase his pace. “Yes, fuck, yes, yes, oh! Oh!” Steve said, plateauing just at the edge of orgasm for what felt like forever before he felt the familiar constriction and release. Thor came in him a moment after, and the wash of fluid and warmth over his prostate was pretty amazing. “Ngthnth.” Steve said. Or something similar.

“I do not believe that was a word,” Thor replied, and he kissed Steve’s neck right behind his ear.

“No,” Steve said.

“I aspired to reduce you to speechlessness,” Thor said. “I believe that qualifies.”

“Yeah.” Thor rocked into him and then withdrew. “Come,” he said, taking Steve’s hand. “I will cleanse you, and we will discuss our plans for the day.” 

* *

Steve didn’t ask how Thor found the restaurant. The offerings were both classic and creative. “We shall have the tasting menu,” Thor said, immediately. “I believe it is eight courses.”

“Yes, sir,” the waiter replied. 

“In Asgard,” Thor said, “we often have what you call, I believe, buffets of food for our meals and I am accustomed to having a meal of many components.”

“Oh,” Steve said. “That sounds like a medieval banquet.”

“I believe it is alike,” Thor said. “Many of our habits were eventually adopted during the time period when we visited Midgard.” He furrowed his brow, slightly, then smiled when the waiter returned with a small, spoon like sort of dish that had a round blob in it that was wrapped in something deep green.

“An amuse bouche,” the waiter said, and then poured them what Steve guessed was a third of what a glass of wine in other restaurants would be. “I shall return when you finish your wine.” 

“This is way too fancy for me,” Steve said. Thor inclined his head. The spoon was dwarfed in his hand. 

“The texture is a bit chewy, but the flavors match well,” Thor said. “You will like it.”

Steve ate it, chewed it thoughtfully, and realized he didn’t even know what it was. He pressed his lips together and then nodded. It was a little fishy tasting, but alright. “Really, too fancy.”

“You do not believe yourself deserving of these things?” 

“I...” Steve stopped, not really sure - actually considering that for the first time. “It was just nothing I ever thought I would get, I was some scrawny little orphan...I wasn’t gonna make it that long, even without the war, and...I guess now, it just-”

“Then I am correct,” Thor said, and he frowned slightly. “Though some are servants in Asgard, they are still afforded good and plentiful food, lodging, time with their loved ones...I find it hard to understand the so-called classes you have here in Midgard.”

“You and me both,” Steve said. “Other than the fact that Tony is right at the top.”

“Not quite,” Thor said. “JARVIS informed me he is the sixth wealthiest person in your realm.” 

“Fuck,” Steve said. “And it’s not like he’s got a pile of good lying around, you know, like Smaug-”

“Smaug?” 

“Oh, it’s a dragon, from a book...I read it a lot as a kid.”

“You should share this book with me,” Thor said. “I enjoy reading.” Thor finished his wine in one determined sip. “You are surprised.” 

“A little,” Steve replied. “I’ve never seen you read.” Also, Thor sort of projected a bit of a...macho-guy thing. Warriors didn’t read books. It was a stereotype, though, hell, people probably thought the same thing about him.

“I do not much care for reading on the tablet device Tony has supplied me with,” Thor said. “I prefer the feel of paper in my hands, to sense the heft of the words.” 

“Yes,” Steve said. “I agree. I, uh, sort of thought in Asgard you read on scrolls or something.”

“Hardly,” said Thor, and he gave Steve a slight smile. “You will have to come with me, sometime.”

“I...I would like that,” Steve replied. “Would that be...alright?” 

“I should think so,” Thor said. “My mother will have sung your praises.” 

_Asgard must be a really interesting place,_ Steve thought. Now was not the time to press that any further. “This reminds me,” Thor added. “I forgot to mention that Clint and Coulson have invited us to another of these ice hockey games. But this time we will be seated in the regular seats.” 

“Oh,” Steve thought. They could this time, of course. “When did we get invited?”

“Clint stopped by when you were sleeping,” Thor said, and smiled slightly. Steve scratched at the back of his neck - they had got back into bed after the shower to watch a movie, and he had fallen asleep. But not for long. And it wasn’t normally something that he did, but it had been happening lately. Part of his recovery, the SHIELD doctors said, his body was still working on healing and becoming fully operational. “I should mention, Steve, that we walked here without hindrance. Perhaps that will improve your feelings?” 

Steve nodded - he hadn’t even thought about walking over here, which, given what had happened three weeks ago was remarkable. A miracle, because the serum was a miracle. He guessed he hadn’t thought enough about what the super serum could do for him. “It does,” Steve said. “I just haven’t...thought about the accident all day, until now.” 

“I understand why you would think ill of that,” Thor replied. “But you are thinking of it now. That experience is part of you - its immediacy may fade, but it will always be there.”

“Yes,” Steve replied.

“The story I told you, about my own injury, occurred some of your centuries before,” Thor said. “There were times it did not exist at the forefront...I was not the better man for it.” 

“You had said that,” Steve said, and before he could say anything else, a small plate of asparagus stacked like a log cabin with some...foam inside arrived. A presumably different white wine was poured into their glasses. Steve stared at the asparagus log cabin for a moment, biting at the bottom of his lip.

“Perhaps this type of serious discussion is not appropriate for a nice meal,” Thor said. “A date.”

“No,” Steve said. “I like that...I like that we can talk about these things.” 

He smiled, and Thor smiled. “Pray tell what is this?”

“This was all your idea,” Steve replied. Thor laughed, and Steve laughed, and Steve took a sip of the wine. 

“Yes, you are right,” Thor said. “I will have to accept full culpability.” He paused. “Well, Tony Stark did suggest it.”

“Yeah,” Steve replied. “I thought so.” Thor closed his eyes and shook his head. 

“Clint will not belay our trust,” Thor said. “We shall have our turn.”


End file.
